Facts: It's Hard Being Authentic at Work

Leaving corporate America has been a game-changer for my authentic self as a Black woman. Suddenly, I no longer feel the need to conform as I did for more than 30 years.

I’m not alone. The Non-Profit Quarterly revealed recently that fewer than half of Black women feel they can be authentic in the workplace without jeopardizing their positions. If you work in the corporate world and are a BIPOC woman, chances are you’ve been made to feel you must adapt, fit in, assimilate—whatever word you choose to use—to get ahead. The reality is that it often feels less like a choice and more like a survival tactic.

You can’t pick up any media these days and not read, hear, or watch someone expressing how important it is to “be authentic.” But where are those influencers and content providers when you’re “The Only” in a conference room full of colleagues and leaders who don’t look like you?

Expressing our true selves sounds great on paper, but in reality, it’s hard AF.

LOVE AND BELONGING

In Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, a person can only move on to addressing their higher-level needs when their basic needs are adequately fulfilled. After level one and two (physiological and safety) needs are met, love and belonging become necessities. So, it’s natural that we want to belong.

We shrink when we should be blooming. We don’t speak up in meetings. We don’t wear our hair braided or curly or in locs. We’re not quite real.

But what happens when we feel like we don’t belong? There’s a real cost to stepping too far away from what’s expected of us. When the fear of losing our status, reputation, or paycheck looms, it’s easier (and feels safer) to hide our true thoughts, feelings, and personalities. We shrink when we should be blooming. We don’t speak up in meetings. We don’t wear our hair braided or curly or in locs. We’re not quite real. This means the people we often spend more time with than family end up interacting with our corporate “representative,” the version of us that we peel off along with our Spanx, bras, and heels once we’re safely ensconced back at home at the end of each day. How can that possibly lead to genuine connections? Confidence?

Showing up every day as someone else can be draining, isolating, and physically exhausting. I once posted that I was exhausted before I even left the house at the thought of spending the rest of the day “performing.” It got more than 4,000 likes, so clearly, I hit a nerve.

The reasons we keep our authentic selves hidden vary:

1. Stereotyping: Persistent stereotypes about Black women being “aggressive” or “loud” force us to tone down our behavior to fit more subdued corporate norms.
2. Cultural Representation: The lack of Black women in leadership roles makes it feel like we have to conform to a predominantly white, male-dominated culture.
3. Professional Advancement: Sticking to corporate norms often seems necessary for promotions, as straying from these norms can be viewed negatively.
4. Workplace Microaggressions: Subtle biases and microaggressions push us to change our appearance, speech, or mannerisms to avoid being singled out or misunderstood.
5. Dress Codes and Appearance: Corporate dress codes often don’t accommodate natural hairstyles or traditional attire, leading us to adopt Eurocentric standards.
6. Bias in Performance Evaluations: Performance reviews may be biased, with non-conforming behaviors seen as less professional or competent.
7. Workplace Culture: Many corporate cultures don’t celebrate or accommodate diverse expressions, pressuring us to suppress our identity.
8. Economic Security: The need for job stability and financial security can lead us to conform to maintain our positions and income.

All of these are valid reasons to send in your best representative! But for things to change, someone has to push the envelope. And the representative you’ve created doesn’t know how. Because she’s not YOU, she’s a copy of a copy of a copy of you. Elements of your true self get lost in the translation.

There’s immense power and peace in knowing, loving, and supporting ourselves before looking outward for approval. But that takes courage. Lucky for us, courage comes in many skin tones, hairstyle choices, and dress styles.

Now more than ever, when there is a push to make America monolithic, it’s vital to be collectively brave enough to change the narrative and embrace our true and unique selves because the world deserves better than carbon copies.

Level Up with Grace is an award-winning newsletter created for African-American women in corporate America. Designed to equip Black women (and others) who want to unapologetically create a stellar career with the strategies, insights, and techniques needed to excel in corporate America. Executive coach Cheryl Grace shares a curation of thoughts, articles, profiles, trends, and tactics that can help women advance to their next professional level, wherever they are on their career journey.?Weekly emphasis on Confidence, Curiosity, Case Studies (Personal Profiles), Connection (Networking), or Course of Action (What to DO). Please subscribe and/or share!

Graphics:?Shutterstock Stock Images illustrated by the fabulously talented Natalia Hubbert.

Powerful Penny LLC is an executive coaching, consulting, and lifestyle firm founded by veteran corporate executive Cheryl Grace. We work with corporations seeking to promote, retain, and support diverse talent, as well as diverse professionals seeking to advance to their next level of career success. Our professional development services, coaching programs, and speaking/workshop series are fully customizable. Discover how we can help you achieve your desired long-term results!