There Are No Facts!

With over 7 billion people in the world, each person has had a unique set of experiences that are unlike any other. Every second of every day 7 billion people are experiencing life differently. For one person alone that is 86,400 experiences a day or over 604 trillion experiences each day across the world, give or take. I understand that a large percentage of these experiences are mundane or eventless, however, whatever the percentage is that may shape who we are is unlike anyone else. We are all definitely unique! Each of these experiences bring a perspective of life, people, and how all of that works together to create an unhinged life.

It is actually quite impressive that with all of those different experiences we can occasionally get large groups of people aligned on common goals. A lot of these common goals come from centuries of lessons learned from people in the past. However, even with this great ability to learn from those of the past, we also must consider that they themselves have had experiences that shapes the way they understood the world. Everything we know from history is a result of someone's perception of that event. Though it would be wise to assume that someone's first-hand experience is more accurate than someone who heard it from another source; even that first hand experience sees every event and judges the result based on those second by second experiences that they have had their entire lives. Every textbook, every journal, every story tells us the facts of the past based on the perception of one or a few people. Everything we have is a man-made mechanism to shape and understand the world. As Friedrich Nietzsche once stated,

"There are no facts, only experiences."

What does this mean for all of us? Perception is the only reality. The single way to navigate any person or situation is to appeal to their perception. Another way to see this is from the words of CS Lewis who stated,

"For what you see and hear depends a good deal on where you are standing"

Perception of what people think of your experiences may and should not be important in a sense of judgement, but they are important. Based on this idea, there are five things I have learned about managing perception. Sometimes these were discovered by my own failures, and sometimes by watching others. Though this is not a complete list, it is a good place to start.

1. Never underestimate the experiences of others. You still should decide what you will do in any given circumstance, but validating their conviction, even if you disagree, will go a long way to gaining trust. Remember, agreement is different than validation, and what people need most is validation.
2. Don’t assume people think the same way you do. This idea is what helps make diversity a benefit. In most cases, it is okay for other to think a little differently than you. It is their experiences that will help create enough good data to make a much better decision than relying on your experiences alone.
3. Focus any disagreements of perception on a subject, not a person. Don’t become victims of an ad hominem attack, you will not gain anything from attacking the person. There are real problems that could use an attack, but sometimes we spend all our time on the finite capabilities of one person to blame.
4. First impressions make more impact than they probably should. It is human instinct to "judge" you immediately, with "reason" kicking in a few seconds later. Protect your personal brand and maintain a reputation such that even when your experiences are different, people know you mean well, and will respect your perceptions.
5. Fall on your sword when needed. Sometimes our experiences are not always the best approach to an issue. It goes along way when you can admit your wrong, validate another perception, or ask for help. Everyone deserves the benefit of the doubt, yet it is rarely given.

With so many experiences, and no true facts, we need to be open to all the good that people in this world have to offer. Even the cruelest of those have been shaped who they are by their experiences, and they deserve a little mercy for those....good and bad. Realizing that perception is reality is a key component to emotional and social intelligence, and a huge factor of success as you navigate your personal and professional life.