Facing the Truth: Everyone Isn't Cheering For You

Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth. – Henry David Thoreau        

We all want to believe that the people around us are rooting for us—that friends, family, and colleagues genuinely want to see us succeed.

But here’s a truth that isn’t easy to accept: not everyone wants you to thrive. Some people feel more comfortable when you stay within the limits they’ve set or remain on a path that keeps their insecurities at bay. Facing this reality might be uncomfortable, even painful, but accepting it is a powerful step toward freedom and authentic self-growth.

From a young age, we’re conditioned to seek validation—whether from parents, teachers, friends, or society at large. We learn that approval feels good; it reassures us that we’re on the “right” track. But as we grow, this craving for approval can silently turn into a prison. We may find ourselves making decisions based on the applause of others, our worth bound to their acceptance. In doing so, we allow others to hold power over our choices and limit our potential. Realizing this truth, while sobering, is liberating. Your journey does not depend on their applause.

Pleasing everyone comes at a cost: you sacrifice authenticity.

When you dilute your values and strengths to fit someone else’s mold, you end up serving their needs, not your own. Often, their opinions are projections of their own fears or unmet ambitions. The person who doubts you might be struggling with their own limitations, and the one who discourages you might feel threatened by the idea of your success. Internalizing their judgments only shackles you to their insecurities. Imagine yourself as a ship navigating open waters. If you adjust your sails for every gust of wind, you’ll find yourself lost, without direction. Constantly looking outward for validation makes you vulnerable to the ever-changing tides of others’ opinions. To chart a course true to yourself, you must let go of the need for universal approval and steer with your own inner compass.

Understanding that not everyone will cheer for you is a part of any meaningful pursuit.

Friction and resistance aren’t just inevitable; they’re essential. Some people around you will doubt, criticize, or even actively discourage you. Your ambition may make them uncomfortable, as it can stir up their own insecurities. But here’s the thing: it’s not your responsibility to make them comfortable with your dreams. Accepting this reality empowers you to pursue your goals without fear of judgment. This doesn’t mean closing yourself off from others, but rather creating a protective boundary around what matters most to you. Recognizing others’ doubts without letting them take root in your own mind builds resilience, and with time, you may even find that their resistance sharpens your resolve.

Redefining success on your terms is essential if you’re to grow and thrive.

True success isn’t about standing in the spotlight with a cheering crowd; it’s about reaching your own milestones, even if no one else notices. When you stop depending on others to fuel your motivation, you become free to take risks, make mistakes, and push beyond your comfort zone. The only approval that truly matters is your own. Shifting to this mindset doesn’t happen overnight. The desire for approval is often deeply ingrained, and unlearning it takes time. Start by recognizing situations where you find yourself seeking validation. Ask yourself why you’re looking for it, and whether it aligns with your own values or goals. You may realize that the approval you seek doesn’t even reflect what’s truly important to you.

While it’s true that not everyone will support your journey, there are those who will. They may be few, and their support might not always come in loud applause. True allies offer constructive challenges, celebrate your successes without envy, and give honest feedback that pushes you to grow. These are the people who will sharpen you, like iron sharpens iron. However, don’t mistake occasional cheers from the sidelines for genuine support. True allies are willing to walk through difficult times with you, seeing value in your vision even when others might not.

Be careful not to confuse convenience with loyalty—true allies stay by your side in the trenches, not just when it’s easy.

Facing the truth that not everyone wants you to succeed is a transformative step. When you embrace this reality, you take back the power you once gave to others’ opinions. You stop apologizing for your ambitions, explaining yourself to doubters, and begin to trust in the validity of your path, even if it doesn’t fit with others’ expectations.

Every successful person, from leaders to groundbreaking artists, has faced critics, skeptics, and doubters. They didn’t allow the opinions of others to dictate their course. Instead, they stayed true to their vision, moving forward despite resistance. Their journeys remind us that greatness is not defined by how much we are liked or accepted, but by the impact we make and the authenticity with which we live.

The journey to personal success and fulfillment often begins when you stop looking outward for approval and turn inward to the strength within. Each of us is capable of charting our own course, free from the need for others’ validation. By embracing this, you reclaim your power, staying true to your path, regardless of who stands beside you. After all, only iron sharpens iron, and in the end, you’ll emerge stronger and truer to yourself.

FORGING STRENGTH: REFLECTIONS AND REALIZATIONS

Reflect on a truth you've avoided facing. Why is this truth challenging, and what feelings come up as you acknowledge it? Imagine how your life might change by fully embracing it. How can confronting it bring clarity and strength? Write down the impact of living with greater honesty.

This is an excerpt from my upcoming book, "Everyone Isn't Cheering For You".        

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ABOUT ME

Noel DeJesus is a decorated combat veteran with multiple tours in Iraq and Afghanistan. He is an internationally published author and the founder of "Pocket Sized Leadership?," providing concise, actionable insights for busy professionals. As a certified training facilitator and renowned speaker, he blends his military expertise with a passion for personal and professional development. Noel is a distinguished member of the LTG (Ret.) James M. Dubik Writing Fellowship for the United States Army and holds a Master of Arts in Administrative Leadership from the University of Oklahoma.

Learn More: www.noeldejesus.com