Facing the Sunnyside

A lot has been said, heard, written and read about being and remaining optimistic throughout life but I still feel that this knowledge is not applied enough and we undermine the importance of cultivating a positive attitude. So here's a small reminder to break free from all those murky shadows lurking at us and face the brighter side of life ???

Being positive

What does it mean to you??

• An ever-smiling face with an empathetic heart ??? ….or
• Being happy with whatever little one has got ?? … or
• Holding a positive Outlook towards the future even when life is hard?? … or
• Not escaping difficult emotions/conversations & Being able to keep the vulnerability intact …or
• Taking negative experiences as a ‘learning’ & being able to get over them sooner with each passing experience… or
• Maybe Leading by example and always inspiring and motivating others ???

These, and many such behaviours tell us that a person has an overall positive outlook in comparison to those who complain or criticise, have conflicting nature or a victim mentality, are too anxious or control freaks…???

Angel vs Devil?

It is inscribed in concrete that good cannot exist without bad, and the same goes for positive and negative circumstances in life ...? Nevertheless, it is equally true that every challenge is an opportunity… Each day, each moment, and each happening gives us the power to choose… to accept circumstances or change them for good… a choice that takes us closer to the life we wanna live...?

Life has taught me that: whether I accept it or not, I can always choose how to Respond... how to behave… and what attitude to wear upon my sleeve as I tread on the unexpected, twisted turns and jumpy bumps on the inevitable road of life!?

Because if it is My own mind that is making me feel this emotion of anger, then the power to accept my weakness and take responsibility for my emotion, also rests within my own mind.

I have realised that every reaction and behaviour of mine is conditioning... & every word I spoke, every decision I made, Every Step I took, even every action I omitted… each of it was a choice - which ultimately became a habit, difficult to break…? actually the book "Atomic Habits" hadn't been published then ??

Now an interesting scientific fact - The human brain consists of about one billion neurons. Each neuron forms about 1,000 connections to other neurons, amounting to more than a trillion connections. And the capacity of one neuron equals one computer… so just make a wild guess of the total capacity of our brain…?

So we can see, the capability is not the problem here… The challenge is - how well we use that ability… are we using our mind to our advantage or letting it work against us…? if our attitude is taken care of, we can optimise the use of these neurons…

Happy Realisation

This made me realise that when I say, "I can't have it all", It actually means that I'm yet not ready to sacrifice what it takes to have all of it... It also means, I don't really want it "that bad" to work my ass off, and 'that' becomes the reason I'm just not trying till the end of my capacity. We all do this at some point in time… then very conveniently we declare 'the Grapes to be sour'???? ...

We already know we are conditioned to see the half-empty glass instead of ways to fill it up again… we are prompted to instantly pick up on that tiny black dot (negative aspects) on the big whiteboard (the bigger picture where we can generally and undoubtedly find something positive)… Most of us still have a habit of amplifying the negatives.?

For example, in India, we use donkey and dog as abusive words despite the fact that They are hard-working, loyal and loving animals. Sad but true, we possess the same tendency for our loved ones… let's honestly peep within …?

Do we easily get irritated by any particular person…? I agree, he or she might have those typical qualities you can't stand but to get irritated is still a choice. I can devise scores of defence mechanisms that work for me during such triggers & keep practising them consciously until one of them actually starts working. And exercising this choice gives you immense freedom and empowerment. I can say this because I've tried it and also succeeded after a long struggle…

Just for once, Can we consider putting our prejudices aside and looking at the beautiful person who would definitely have a few positive qualities as well. .. can we choose to focus just on those positives this time, no matter how trivial they seem against their irritating habits… Since we are now stronger, better equipped and samajhdaar enough to break down the shackles of magnifying the negative behaviours…! Why not consider magnifying the positives instead!!?

Walking on a Tightrope

I know this positive thinking sounds cliche but I want to talk about how I began to apply this theory…?

Those were the times when I felt stuck in ruminations, Something that can happen to anyone, (clinically, I was on the verge of depression)… nothing seemed to be working… Every choice I made was taking me away from the life I wanted for myself… but my roots were so deep in my Comfort Zone that I continued in the wrong direction till I lost sight of my goal… even worse, I became the person I didn't like… I still kept living that degrading life until the greatness in me couldn't bear the pitiful plight anymore…?

And, what did I do about it??

• I tried with all my might but didn't find myself capable enough of escaping the Whirlpool that my mind had pulled me down into… it was like a thousand bees buzzing in my head and stinging my soul at the same time. ..?

So, What did I do then??

• I read, heard and wrote positive stuff… I talked to myself…not once or twice but tens of times and more if required… I told myself that it was just one small step … and that one step would become the launchpad of my confidence and yank out my hidden potential.?

Being someone who has often gathered courage in the past to fight during the scariest Times… I looked into the mirror and asked myself, "Don't I have even an ounce of that courage left which can drag me out of this shit-hole and land me in a scenario where I would feel free and empowered…?"

And, what else did I do?

• I began to change my thinking patterns. . . . Like every morning when I didn't feel like getting up and going for exercises, I would curse myself with the worst abuses I knew... I began to visualise my bed (my Comfort zone then) as a deep pit of shit… as filthy and stinking as could be… with all the creepy creatures crawling all over my body … Eeeeew - that gives me shivers even right now…?
• Further I visualized that walk-way, the path where people lined up on both sides calling out my name in a victorious manner all laden with the finest and most fragrant flowers… if that wouldn't pull me out of my Comfort zone, where I had been lying for ages as a part of all the filth…, what could? Regretfully, in spite of creating such dreary visuals, my body was simply not cooperative to any movement I strived for…?

So, how did I gather the energy & enthusiasm to step out and get going…??

• ?I looked at my hands and legs, they were in place and functional, and I also had a fair deal of intelligence… then, What the hell was stopping me? I felt angrier as well as more hopeless, helpless and frustrated… but I kept probing my fears and inabilities with this seemingly simple question until… I could bear it no more… Then there came a time when the guilt of remaining in the Comfort zone surpassed that invisible force that had tied me there… I pushed my limits and raised above the negative attitude of procrastination (aaj to taakat hi nahi hai, kal se pakka jaaungi) & fear (itne time se nhi kiya, ab achanak se kaise hoga), beyond my own expectations…?

What was the outcome?

• I still remember that moment vividly when I emerged as a strong, fearless person who had already fought many battles and won most of them. How free and empowering I felt…! I had earned this conviction and confidence and I was proud of myself. It was not easy but I could make it… n most importantly it had got nothing to do with my circumstances… as I was thinking it to be… it was my ill-interpretation, if that's a word…? and at that moment I realized one more enlightening fact… that I could have won this battle and freed up myself much sooner. Cuz it was just that one mind-shift…? the transition from being someone who was taken advantage of to someone who chose to lead a great life ahead…? full of dignity and a 'never say never' attitude.?

Empowering Questions

Today, once again, I felt like I was beginning to get caught in the same rut so thought of writing this article. ..and trust me by the time I finished it, I was back at my door …pulling up my tracks, wearing my jogging shoes, and grabbing the water bottle . ..?

And now it's your turn guys, think about it… Think about a time when you wanted something really bad and you went all out to get it! Really, just think about it.

• What was the feeling when you were passionate enough to pass your threshold…?
• When you did things, Which you thought you were never capable of doing???
• What was that feeling when you were feeling weaker than ever but decided to stand tall and stay strong enough so that no obstructions could block your way…? ??
• How was that defining moment when beating all your mental controversies and internal negative dialogues, you could overcome the challenges with confidence…??
• Although slogging like never before, you still had a great time… because you were enjoying the journey despite those negative circumstances engulfing your psyche…?

WHAT HAD CHANGED…? WHAT GAVE YOU SUCH INCREDIBLE POWER…??

When you shift, shape, and alter your attitude in a way that's ideal, it will positively influence your behaviour and capabilities… your personal growth, your professional success, your social life and most of all your closest relationships … There will be bouts of anxiety time & again but then you will have the list of your coping mechanisms handy. You would be very clear about what kind of life you want and how to create it - which you were actually always capable of, something you genuinely deserved. Consequently, this positive attitude would affect your entire life favourably … so, what are you waiting for, Chak de…!?