Facing stormy weather
Facing stormy weather
Written by Robert W. Bang
The 24:th of March 2020 quarantined in Rome
Certified Master Practitioner of NLP Coaching
The Covid 19 and the implications all over the world has caused many people to find themselves in a completely new situation in their lives challenging their established perception of the world at all levels, under surveillance, isolated and many times in quarantine locked within the walls of your home.
I will emphasize on the mental pressure involved in this situation and like to share some insights that has been helpful for coaching clients up throughout the years. This has helped many people substantially in similar situations of crisis as when your complete system is being challenged and you need to find the strength within yourself you might not even knew were within your capabilities. It’s my hope that you’ll be able to gain some value as well from this article, so that you can apply in your daily life.
The insights and techniques that are provided here is based on the intellectual values and models from the NLP society (Neuro Linguistic Programming) and are trademarks and ethical standards supervised by the international NLPEA (NLP Association of Excellence) community.
NLP is a world leading methodology with the aim of supporting people reaching their outcomes, opening for new opportunities not known to you before, addressing strategies in your life that doesn’t serve you well, as well as providing solutions to anxiety and bad emotions, to mention some main areas. NLP is practical and outcome driven and consist of a set of models, skills and techniques for thinking and acting effectively in the world. NLP is used all over the world for supporting people searching excellence in their field in all kind of areas, such as politics, business, leading athletes and the list goes on. In short, the neuro in NLP is referring to the nervous system, the linguistic is referring to the language that we use externally and not least internally, and finally the programming relates to the fact that we are all programmed through the power of our habits, these very programs we can change and improve through the NLP techniques available to us.
You get what you focus on
Initially we need to recognize that our “map isn’t the real territory” thus pointing to the fact that each and one of us will perceive any one situation differently based on our inbuilt mind filters, which we need in the process of choosing what to receive in our conscious mind at any given time. The job is a big one, as every second we are exposed to between 2-11 Mbits of data, mostly visual data, but also for all other senses. The estimated maximum conscious capacity on processing information is some 128 bits per second, which is way to high for normal people and more realistic is 48 to 64 bits per second. Feel free to test yourself on how many phone numbers you can remember per second!
The point of explaining this is that the information we are exposed to is filtered very heavily, by a set of parameters known as your metaprogram (i.e your personality), your previous decisions, your values, attitudes, memories and beliefs. They are the important gatekeepers in deciding what part of the information is being deleted, generalized or distorted, and what part (much less than 0,01%) you choose to receive and focus on in your conscious mind.
In a situation of high mental pressure, its particularly important that we recognize that people around us react on their perceived reality (their map), which for sure will differ from your own perceived reality. That’s one strong reason if any needed to pay respect to other people’s perception of the world or a situation thus trying to understand and demonstrate empathy and boldness.
So, then if I just focus on positive things the crisis will go away? Well, not so straight forward but already a valuable point of direction. We do get through our filtering processes what we focus on, whether it might be the crisis or other more positive things. If we feel overwhelmed by the impressions of the crisis and still, we spend a lot of time listening to the ongoing bad news every day whilst not leaving our home, the crisis will become stronger in your mind as per the hour. Your unconscious mind will receive the important message that everything about the crisis is a top priority and soon enough it will strive to assist you in making reflexions on the unconscious level. Your unconsciousness is your most powerful tool in terms of capacity as it runs your body, it contains everything you know, and all your emotions, amongst many other things. The unconscious mind is set up to help you at any given time of present moments which is all we have and all that exists for the unconsciousness.
A simple exercise is to write down a list of your problems and fears. Having done so, make a differentiation on external factors on which you cannot do nothing, and internal factors, on which you can act and make progress towards a solution. Now have the two lists separately, start with looking through the external factor list and repeat for yourself that you are excused from taking on responsibility for the content of that list, and just let it pass away. Repeat the procedure and let it just pass away. Now give yourself full attention on the list on which you positively can make an impact. Get busy with that list and give it all your attention, so that your unconsciousness will support you in this. You will focus on the right things and will soon see the problem in a different light as well as solving some of the problem with the help of your unconsciousness that needs clear and easy instructions. Note that this is only a simple exercise as there are several advanced and effective NLP techniques to address similar situations.
The learning stages
New habits are formed easily with the help of our unconscious and our conscious mind, supported by our state and behavioural patterns. We can form new neural pathways, as when we are passing through the different levels of the learning cycle:
-Unconscious incompetence, you don’t know it and you don’t know that you don’t know it!
-Conscious incompetence, whereas you know that you don’t know it, leading to the next level by learning
-Conscious competence, you know that you know it, which will with ongoing efforts lead to
-Unconscious competence, you know it even on an unconscious level, i.e driving a car
-Mastery will occur when you have the signs of mastering the topic, making complex topics seems easy, this is the ultimate level and an extension of the basic learning model
Level three of conscious competence is reached typically when passing 1000 hours, and level four of unconscious competence exceeding 5.000 hours, at that final level your new neurological pathways has been established, which is new habits on the unconscious level. This means you have developed new programs in your life referring to the programming in NLP, we are all programmed and dominated by our habits, which again will impact our behaviour. The utter level of mastery is reached typically when exceeding 15.000 – 20.000 hours which again equals some 6-7 years of work.
At that point or even long before your unconscious mind is seeking new stimulation and you will find yourself way back into the learning cycle again taking on new learnings and developing yourself into new heights following the very same procedure, and again, and again, as the learning process is a constant in our lives. Test yourself on different topics in your life, where are you in the cycle? Even though it takes time to go through the whole cycle of the learning stages, your unconscious mind will quite immediately be occupied with the positive stimulation on following your goal and desire to learn, filling your mind with a positive agenda in general. The mother of all learning is repetition, so soon as you get yourself occupied and focused with a topic of your choice, keep repeating and the neural pathways will strengthen its connections in your brain, and your new habit will come easily for you as you go along.
Find your inner balance and power
So that into practical reality of enhancing your state and behavioural patterns and habits start on being consciously aware of what directions you point out for your unconscious mind to focus and work on. Reduce your focus on negative input, like following the crisis on an ongoing basis, not meaning you are updated on the reality of it but reduce the exposure to timely selected news updates. Meanwhile set into action things in your life you find stimulating and making the way for your feeling of balance between the conscious and unconscious mind. In short be aware of this balance as together they provide your total inner strength which you need.
The ways of achieving this balance is individual as to what we appreciate doing and thinking, however acknowledged sources of reaching the balance is through connecting with the present moment and thereby accessing the power of our unconscious mind. Meditation is a winner here, opening for reflexions, so is the art of Yoga, can also be doing some simple exercises involving controlling your breathing and so forth. You’ll feel what’s the easiest way for you to achieve this, might be also just to appreciate the silence, getting in contact with the elements around you, opening up for your empathy and “sensory acuity”, (NLP term as to which we enter a higher level of awareness and observation skill) see the beauty in the small things around you. You will naturally feel what activity or just non-activity that makes you feel comfortable and in balance, so that the choice is yours to make.
You get what you focus on so that if you say you can, you’re right, just like when you say you cannot you’re right too! So that clearly you have every good reason to signal the positive energy towards your unconscious mind, which soon enough will materialise in positive new habits and eventually unconscious habits and behaviour that will support you.
States and capabilities (Photo)
A crisis can be perceived as overwhelming, as per your individual perception of it, with both external and internal factors that affects you. You have the power to focus on positive input, in the meaning not giving way for the negative one to dominate your perception. The best ways for learning are curiosity, fascination, interest and excitement. So that given the insight make sure you find new areas of learning activities that meet these criteria and start having fun whilst focusing on positive input. Your unconscious mind will support you with the best of circumstances for learning.
Be aware of your baseline state, which is the state that you feel most at home and is the most familiar to you. Many times, this state has been with you since early childhood and can seem to be the only way to be, however in fact is only one way to be. So, what’s the baseline state? A combination of your habitual thoughts and feelings both physical and mental. Be aware of your baseline state and ask yourself does it serve you in the right way in any given situation.
How well you learn depends of which state you are in, how well you perform likewise depending on your state and has a direct impact on your capabilities.
Look at the picture with the cat, which one are you when looking at your reflection in the mirror? Are you a cat or a lion? Or something else? Take a minute for reflection. In NLP we have strong tools to help you with empowerment using mental anchoring, that directly will affect your state. We will not cover this here into detail as needed the supervision of a certified coach to make you through the mental anchoring process successfully.
Cause and effect
Do you perceive yourself to be “at cause” or else “in effect”? This is of crucial importance as to how you deal with new situations. So, what’s the difference? If you are “at cause” you will perceive yourself taking on responsibility for the situation and furthermore feel that you can make the difference in changing your individual situation or even the circumstances around you. On the other hand, if you are “in effect”, you’ll perceive yourself like a victim and “bad things happen to me!” and a subject to the circumstances.
Clearly, you want to be able to act as from a position “at cause” which is empowering and gives you the influence that you need in any given situation.
As from the “in effect”, be aware of what we call “limiting decisions”, that you should be aware of any automatic responses which includes “I cannot” or “I will not”. Emphasize instead on the words “I can” and “I will”. They are all empowering and gives clear instructions towards your unconsciousness. Start using them in the morning and keep repeating during the day, your unconscious mind will reward you and your capabilities and behaviour will go along nicely.
Perception is projection
This means that what you learn through your senses you will make mental anchoring in the form of pictures, smells, sounds, tastes and feelings, and through words and self-talk.
The sum of your perception will normally be in any context that you’ll remember clearly, the episode or the event itself and not least the feelings associated with the event.
What we need to be aware of is that when a similar event or just the context reappear to you, like a similar situation or a similar person you have met previously, the associated emotions with the previous event will reappear to you automatically. Many people with fears and bad emotions of different kind can confirm the reality of this, i.e fear of small rooms, elevators, fear of flying and more.
It could be also you met a person in the past which gave you a bad impression, and now for the next interview you meet a candidate with a similar looks or else behavioural patterns. Your unconscious mind will remember the episode from the past and without you being consciously aware of it, will project the negative feelings towards the new person. The candidate might experience a bad day of unluck as the chances of getting the job is declining.
Projection is a very strong instrument towards your environment, and please get awareness of what kind of projections you share with your close’s relationships, your colleges, your friends and family. In particular in times of hardness and crisis, you’ll need to be particularly careful as to what you project towards your environment, and the more powerful your situation and status the more impact you’ll have towards your family, friends, your employees and so forth. If you believe there is a major crisis going on and painting the black ink on the wall, so will everyone else believe this and will soon become part of their perceived reality.
This is a big responsibility for any kind of leaders within or outside the context of family leader, business leader, football team or anywhere it might be.
The good news is you are equally strong in your mind to bring about positive projections, and thus positive influence and empowerment to your environment. Acknowledge the problem whatever it might be, and quickly and clearly lead the way towards positive initiatives. You can also train yourself consciously to be aware of the mechanism of projections, and a good start is knowing that they exist as a phenomenon.
The law of requisite variety
Straightforward and easy to relate to, “The law of requisite variety” as it states that; “The person with the most choices and flexibility” will always come out the best of any situation!
Reflect on that for a second or two! What do you think? Make sense to you?
Most people find it logical and true, and what are your reflection? If we make the approach of the alternative cost, one could say that you’ll not be better of by less choices and less flexibility, so its quite robust actually and hard to find solid arguments against it!
The ability to have choices and to have flexibility is crucial to us in life, in a fast-changing world where your success is so much dependent on your ability to rapidly change and meet the new challenges that arises. This is very much relevant also in any kind of crisis, where the consequences of action are so much more important as well.
Bring the “Law of requisite variety” into your prime toolbox as defining the attitude you have when the circumstances needs it, and into daily life as well when considering important changes. This can be for your career plan and consideration on the next move ahead, always build up for yourself the position of multiple choices and cherish the ability to be and act with flexibility.
Finally
The tools within the NLP methodology is rich and contains proven high value to people’s life and circumstances. This article has only covered a fragment of the values with the NLP abilities of helping people with getting to know yourself better, opening up for choices not known to you before, get within the reach of outcomes not open for you before and so forth.
Many of the values I have shared with you here you can grasp easily and quickly and hopefully will provide you a short-term positive inspiration and effect. Other parts will need further explanations and the use of proven NLP technics supervised by a certified coach issued by the NLP Association of Excellence, the NLPEA.
If you want to learn more about NLP and how it can help your business or/else improve your personal life you can request a free document on “Introduction to NLP Coaching” by sending an email to the address below. Furthermore, should you be interested in participating in a Webinar to unlash the potential of NLP into your business, let us know and we will be happy to get back to you.
Finally, take care of yourself under the most demanding circumstances that we have currently. Show and live flexibility, understanding and empathy towards all people around you. Find the pleasure in empowering the people around you and feel free to develop into the next level of yourself !
Kind regards/Cordiali saluti
Robert W. Bang
NLP Certified Master Coach
Bang Coaching / Bang Rekruttering
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