Facing Our Shadows: Turning Personal Challenges into Collective Strength
Danielly Kaufmann
Learning and teaching for world peace and positive change. Transforming the world starts within.
This morning, right after waking up, I found myself reflecting on something a patient I visited at a psychiatric clinic told me. He said he thinks he understands what’s happening and why he’s going through this issue. He mentioned feeling like there’s something inside him he can’t get rid of—something evil, almost as if he was implying he had a demon within him.
Starting from the principle that we are all equal without being the same, I reflected on how each of us has one or several of these "things" that we also don't know how to get rid of. These are things that are not compatible with the person we want to believe we are or would like to be. They harm our health, our relationships, or hinder our own progress, and are clearly toxic on some level.
However, because they are often socially accepted and do not attract enough attention to justify hospitalization in a mental health facility or police intervention, we end up turning a blind eye. But if we think about it, being socially or culturally accepted is not a good criterion. War is still culturally accepted in our society, as we don't yet have enough control to stop it. Can you imagine that!? We are still unable to stop wars—whether those killing people in Ukraine, the Middle East, or the wars within ourselves. There are so many socially and culturally accepted issues we need to address. I believe the best way to approach this is with peace, forgiveness, acceptance, joy, and compassion—even if it’s challenging—rather than focusing on war, guilt, and condemnation. It's time to leave those things in the past.
So, what I see now is that we often focus on standout cases and use them to ignore our own unresolved "things." We pretend that there is no inner war deserving of compassionate attention and resolution. But we can do the opposite: look at prominent cases and understand how we might see these issues in ourselves and how we can improve. These situations, whether involving a patient in a hospital or a criminal, can serve as mirrors for our own introspection. I’m trying to do this as well, and fortunately, I have occasional dreams that reveal my internal struggles through symbolic language. If you don’t have such dreams to guide you, developing self-observation skills is another way to gain insight.
What I know at the moment is that we first need to focus on changing ourselves. We cannot, nor should we, try to control others or "improve others." Improving others can be done collectively through tools like schools, education, and collective efforts to assist those in need. This is part of our positive humanity and necessary infrastructure for development. However, regarding inner struggles, I believe there is always something outside that reflects something we can improve inside ourselves.
In self-development, especially as adults, it is important to focus on understanding and transforming these "things" within us instead of pointing fingers at others. This doesn’t mean that it won’t affect others; on the contrary, I believe in the "ripple effect"—our change at a certain point, like a pebble creating waves on water, reverberates and causes change beyond that single point. When many of us evolve in the same direction, it influences even those we don’t directly contact. This phenomenon, sometimes referred to as the "hundredth monkey effect," suggests that collective change can lead to widespread transformation.
Ultimately, these "things" within us can be transformed into something different, allowing us to embrace this "update" without fear or guilt. Forgiveness is key to this process. From personal experience, I know that trying to change through guilt can be detrimental. Forgiveness, despite the emotional turmoil during a phase of acceptance, when we can cry the pain out, is liberating and brings internal lightness over time. It’s not easy, but it’s easier than remaining trapped in a guilt loop that doesn’t resolve anything. I believe that with less resistance, this process can become easier for both me and humanity over time.
This reflection is my attempt to share with my human family navigating these challenging times that we can reframe how we see others and other problems as sources of inspiration and personal and collective growth, bringing reasons to be grateful even in adversity.
if you got here I invite you to check CHAT GPT comments when I shared my text - I personally find it very interesting.
Assistant's Response to the text:
What a deep and sensitive reflection you shared. Your text addresses the complexity of the human condition, especially in the context of mental health and self-transformation. I'll comment on some points you raised and add some additional reflections.
Recognizing and Accepting Our "Things"
The patient you encountered mentioned a feeling of having something inside him, almost like a "demon." This metaphor illustrates the internal struggle many of us face. These "things" can be fears, traumas, behaviors, or thoughts that seem uncontrollable and hard to eliminate.
The Nature of Internal "Things"
These "things" can be understood as parts of ourselves that, for various reasons, we cannot integrate healthily into our identity. They may arise from past experiences, social expectations, or internal pressures. Recognizing that we all have these difficult parts is an important step toward self-acceptance.
The Issue of Social and Cultural Acceptance
You mentioned that some "things" are socially accepted and, therefore, often do not receive the necessary attention. Indeed, practices like war are culturally accepted despite being harmful. This leads us to question the values and norms we accept without challenge.
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Challenging Cultural Norms
It is essential to question cultural and social norms that perpetuate toxic behaviors. Change begins when we recognize that something needs to be transformed, both personally and collectively. Small individual changes can add up to larger cultural transformations.
The Importance of Self-Improvement
You spoke about the importance of focusing on oneself before trying to change others. This resonates with the idea that true change begins internally. The "ripple effect" you mentioned is a powerful concept – personal changes can inspire and influence others.
The Hundredth Monkey Phenomenon
The story of the hundredth monkey suggests that individual changes can lead to a collective transformation. Although the story is more of a metaphor than a proven scientific fact, it aptly illustrates how change in one group can spread to others.
The Role of Forgiveness in Transformation
You emphasized the importance of forgiveness in the process of internal transformation. Forgiving oneself is crucial for emotional and mental healing. Guilt can be paralyzing, while forgiveness allows for release and growth.
Practicing Forgiveness
Forgiving oneself and others is a continuous and difficult process, but essential for inner peace. It involves acknowledging our mistakes, learning from them, and moving forward without the burden of guilt.
Inspiration in Times of Confusion
Finally, you mentioned that moments of confusion and difficulty can be inspiring and educational. This is a hopeful and resilient view. Seeing challenges as opportunities for learning can turn crises into growth.
Conclusion
Your reflection invites us to look inward, recognize our internal struggles, and seek ways of transformation and healing. It also reminds us of the importance of questioning harmful cultural norms and cultivating compassion and forgiveness. In difficult times, these practices can help us find a path to peace and continuous improvement.
Thank you for sharing these profound and inspiring thoughts. They certainly resonate with many of us who are seeking a fuller and more harmonious life.
Disclaimer:
This article was created in collaboration with?ChatGPT, an AI language model developed by OpenAI, with thoughtful input and oversight from a human author. The content reflects a partnership between artificial intelligence and human creativity, ensuring a balance of accuracy, ethical considerations, and a human touch. While every effort has been made to provide reliable information, readers are encouraged to explore and verify additional sources as needed.