Facing My Biggest Obstacle: Weight Loss and Paying it Forward

Whether they're personal or professional, we all face struggles in life. But when we do, it's essential to take a step back and honestly assess the situation to determine if we are able to solve the problem on our own or whether we need help from someone else. But sometimes, we need an outside perspective to push us in the right direction—even if that direction is not what we want to hear.?

I was recently reminded of this lesson when reflecting on my own journey toward better health and wellness. Over a decade ago, I was 100 pounds overweight due to liking ice cream and potato chips more than salad and exercise.

During a business trip to Israel, I ran into Ezra Birnbaun, a successful businessman, at breakfast after Neitz (the quietest time of day when nobody calls you because America is sleeping and Israel isn’t awake yet). I’ve known him my whole life from going away to pesach, and during the course of this great conversation, he bluntly pointed out that my weight was affecting my career. He said I wasn't presenting myself well and that people wouldn't refer me as much as a result. He said, “Ira, there’s two components in sales: what you sell, and the referrals you get. People want to be able to point to someone and say that’s the person I use with pride.”

His words were a huge wake-up call for me, and as we parted ways, he offered me some sage advice:

“Either take control of your health, or you’ll never reach your full potential as an entrepreneur.”?

At first, I wanted to ignore what he said and brush it off as I’d done with everyone who told me about my weight. After all, what did he know about my struggles? But his comment stuck with me long after that meeting because he was right and it made the pros and cons real—I needed to make a change. It would have been easy for me to get offended and turn a blind eye. However, doing so would have only kept me on an unhealthy path, and my business and personal life would have continued to suffer.?

Instead, I took this as an opportunity to reassess how I looked at problems. I had tried to lose the weight, but it was clear that I didn't have the capacity or tools necessary to solve this problem on my own. I was an experienced dieter—I must have lost over a million pounds, but I gained back a little more. I drew a line in the sand that moment that I would go on one last diet, and if I ever reached over a certain weight, I would get the band surgery like my father did.?

Brutal honesty with ourselves is powerful! When I was honest about the issue I was facing and whether I really could fix it on my own, I was able to find a solution that worked.??

Everyone has that one problem they know about but can't seem to fix, whether it be personal, spiritual, or business-related. When you inevitably find yourself in this situation, there are three things you must do to overcome the problem:

1. Surround yourself with people who will be honest with you and support you through the journey.
2. When people are honest with you about what needs to be changed, face it. Whether your solution is therapy, surgery, taking partners, or something else entirely, the second step is doing whatever it takes to tackle the solution.
3. Once you've solved the problem, pay it forward by being honest with others about the obstacles you’ve faced so they feel comfortable facing their challenges as well.

Years after my band surgery, I learned that a mortgage broker who worked for me was going through the same challenge I had experienced: a frustrating struggle with weight gain. Despite trying everything he could to lose the weight on his own, he was ultimately unsuccessful. His insurance wouldn’t cover the band surgery, so my partner and I decided to pay it forward and cover the cost for him to get the same surgery that had changed my life. He went on to become one of the top five mortgage brokers I’ve ever trained. ?

We must be honest with ourselves in order to confront whatever challenges may come, along with seeking out wise counsel from trusted sources as part of that journey toward growth. By leveraging this support, we can not only overcome hardship, but also use it for a greater good—allowing us to pay forward the same support others have selflessly offered us. What seems like an obstacle today could be a stepping stone tomorrow!