Facing Life’s Toughest Challenges: Mindset, Anxiety, and Healing

In today’s edition, we’re diving into some difficult but important questions that many people face throughout their lives. From job loss to divorce, and the struggles of anxiety, these situations can seem overwhelming. However, with the right mindset and tools, we can navigate these challenges and come out stronger.

In this newsletter, we’ll be exploring:

• How to reframe a job loss and visualize a brighter future.
• Techniques for overcoming nighttime anxiety and creating peace.
• Steps to begin the healing process after divorce and how to move forward.

We hope these answers provide some clarity and tools for your own journey.

I'm in my early 50s and I've just been made redundant from my job. It's hit me hard and I'm feeling stressed and scared. I'm most worried that I won't be able to find work in my sector again as employers will choose younger candidates. How can I improve my mindset?

When faced with stressful situations, it can be difficult to maintain a positive mindset, and we can fall into the trap of focusing on the negatives and spiralling. Big life changes such as losing a job can really trigger these negative feelings, but it is important to stop these thoughts in their tracks and deflect them using a positive mindset.?

Focusing on negative things that may or may not happen creates a poor quality mindset, and leads to anxiety. Anxiety occurs when we project into our future and see it all go wrong. Because our neurology does not know the difference between what is imagined and what is real, visualising things that go wrong for us is what creates the fight or flight response. Thoughts then become feelings.?

Instead, think about what you do want, rather than what you are afraid of happening. Imagine this in specific detail. Close your eyes, take a deep breath and create a movie in your head to help you visualise what you want to happen, hear a sound track, think about your self talk, what will you say to yourself when you are getting what it is that you want?? And lastly, feel what you will feel when you have this. Visualising your aspirations in this detail will help you get excited, and feel invigorated about what the future holds!?

You are choosing to focus on what you want, rather than what you don’t want. Thoughts become things, so choose wisely!

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I suffer from anxiety. It's worse at night time when I'm trying to get to sleep. A rush of thoughts in my mind and physical anxiety-induced bodily tension prevents me from sleeping. Do you have any tips for reducing nighttime anxiety?

As distractions are often a tool to avoid anxious thoughts, nighttime anxiety can be a real challenge for many people. How can we avoid anxiety when we have nothing to distract us and we are alone with our thoughts in the dark??

The key is to shift our focus to what we want, not get stuck on what we don’t want, as mentioned above.?

Active Imagination is more powerful than just visualising, it is an important tool and here’s why. Active Imagination uses more of your senses than just visualisation, you are bringing a soundtrack also your self talk, maybe you can smell something, or even taste champagne or coffee. The reason this is powerful is because this is the language of the brain, our senses, bring as many as you can to the movie, the more the better. Whereas visualisation is just that, the sense of sight, so not as powerful.

These are all brought together into a movie, your movie. Think about your favourite relaxing place, take a deep breath and see yourself there, looking through your own eyes, and experience your place of relaxation. Listen to the sounds you would hear there, are there any smells that are important to you? What is your self-talk as you start to feel more relaxed?

This will help add detail to make it as tailored to your individual needs as possible. Thinking of all that comforts you and imagining it all in one place where we can find peace.?

Once we train ourselves to fall into a nightly routine of visualising a place of peace and happiness, we begin to associate night time and bed with positive thoughts.?

Challenging anxious habits will help reprogramme our thoughts and challenge night time anxiety!

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I'm getting divorced and the stress is overwhelming. I've been with my husband for 25 years and I don't know how I'm going to cope on my own. I can't see a way forward through my grief at the relationship ending. I feel so alone.? How can I start to heal?

Firstly, give yourself a break. Take time for yourself and allow yourself to wallow for a while, lay low and avoid negative people.

The problem with divorce is that everyone is so connected to it, they have either been through it or know someone close who has been through it. It is also something which is hard to keep private, and everyone has an opinion. It can be hard to block these out and not let them affect us. However you are you and how you react is right for you, so choose who you share this with wisely. Don’t feel pressured to behave in any particular way, or follow anyone’s advice. Just do what feels right for you and take care of yourself.

Then when you are ready, focus on what you want from the future and what you can look forward to. Challenge any feelings that this is an end, and think of it as a new beginning. I know it won't feel like that right now, it will feel like you are grieving which is why it is important for you to take your time and not rush. As in the two points above, visualise what you want from the next phase of your life and run this over and over. Engage your Active Imagination and start creating your future memory?.

When you focus on what you want there is no space for what you are afraid of.