Facing the fear of change

If insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results, then why do we fear change so much?

While working with clients recently, a team trying to navigate change, I discovered a new word: metathesiophobia, which is the fear of change. According to Google, the definition is that it is a common fear that can make it hard to pursue goals. I had no idea such a word existed, but I won’t go down that rabbit hole right now—there's also a word for the fear of fear.

Am I, or can we, be more open to change now that we know there’s a word for the fear of it? Something I've learned recently is that many problems, failures, or setbacks I've faced in life have been due to fears and my attempts to avoid, suppress or ignore them. I have learned to face my fears and unpack them. Instead of reacting, I need to pause, reflect, discuss, and find ways to face those fears.

How do we find the balance between two extremes while facing fears?

a) Reacting, freezing, or panicking is often a defensive and instinctual response that leads to inaction.

b) Jumping with joy and reacting impulsively with enthusiasm can lead to a panicked response.

Some areas I am exploring:

Keep the energy: What I am learning is to keep the energy. Don’t try to suppress it; let the emotions come up, say hello to them, and let them surface. Don’t leave them swirling around in your stomach, pulling apart your chest, or banging nails into your head. I often think of steam exploding from my head and transforming that energy into something empowering—like a transformer, using it to help me move forward.

Interrelated and contextual: Pause and reflect on the environmental and systemic conditions fueling this change. Get out of the internal and individual perspective and look beyond the collective level—what are the structural factors? If we believe we are alone, fall into self-pity, we enter a trap. If we recognize we are just another grain of sand in a large and complex world, we can step forward.

Plant the seeds for a positive domino effect: What is the next right thing you can do to nurture change and ensure it brings about a positive effect? Take it step by step. Perhaps you can face a change at work by adding an evening walk to your routine, or change at home by taking a free online class to learn a new skill. Just keep taking those positive steps forward.

A reminder to myself is that I am not alone in fearing the unknown - for being unsettled when routine is disrupted - for being defensive and protecting myself in change. What I can do is pause, reflect, connect and stake one step forward in doing the next right thing.