Facing Change: The Power of Resilience and the Wisdom of the Nervous System

"What is the first word that pops into your mind when you think about change?" I often ask this question in my work, and the answer is quite common: uncertainty. It's not surprising; uncertainty can evoke feelings of anxiety and fear, leaving us feeling ungrounded and conflicted. However, rather than running away from uncertainty, we can tap into the power of resilience and the wisdom of our nervous system to navigate through challenging times.

As humans, our aversion to uncertainty is deeply rooted in our evolutionary history and psychological makeup. Our ancestors' survival heavily relied on being cautious and avoiding uncertainty, as it often brought potential dangers and threats. This aversion leads us to stick to what we know, even if it may not be the best option, and makes us more sensitive to potential losses than gains. The unpredictability of uncertain situations triggers anxiety and stress, prompting us to seek stability and predictability as a source of security.

In her insightful book "Uncharted, How uncertainty can power change," Margaret Heffernan challenges our addiction to prediction and certainty about the future. She urges us to resist the allure of technology and efficiency, encouraging us to tap into our own creativity and humanity. Embracing uncertainty can open doors to positive change and offer opportunities for growth and innovation.

To navigate uncertain times, resilience plays a critical role. Resilience is all about understanding and regulating our nervous system, which is the key to staying present and open to challenging emotions. The polyvagal chart offers insights into the different states of our nervous system. When we're within the window of tolerance, we can cope effectively and be resilient. However, if we feel overwhelmed, our nervous system can shift into fear-based responses, leading to agitation, anxiety, or even immobilization.

When we are in our window of tolerance,?we can cope.?We can be resilient. When something new, challenging, alarming comes up, the sympathetic branch of the autonomic nervous system is automatically activated; we unconsciously mobilise to meet whatever the new situation, challenge or threat is.?When we are regulated by the social engagement system of our pre-frontal cortex,?we turn to people near us to help, for regulation, or we turn to memories of people where we have felt loved, understood, supported, to keep us in the sense of everything is OK, everything is going to be OK. We are mobilised without fear. We act skilfully.

When we are frightened, confused, overwhelmed, more than our conscious social engagement system can handle, we mobilise but without enough regulation. We feel agitated, anxious. We panic. We step out of our window of tolerance. If there is not internal social engagement system (think about trauma), we can withdraw into an unconscious immobilization of lethargy, numbness, depression, dissociation.

If we are very calm, very relaxed, if the calming parasympathetic nervous system is operating without fear, we can become blissfully immobilized as in meditation or sleep.

What we learn from this is that to build up resilience we need to be in a state of mobilisation (sympathetic nervous system) supported by social engagement (parasympathetic nervous system). The combination of these states can help us engage and respond to the challenge of the moment with resilient coping. The regulation of these states produces oxytocin, the hormone of safety and trust, laying the foundation for resilience. Neuroscientists are discovering any time we feel safe, warm, loved, and cherished, we activate the release of small doses of oxytocin in the brain.?They are discovering even thinking about, imagining, remembering being loved and cherished is enough to release the oxytocin.

To maintain resilience in the face of uncertainty, it is essential to stay regulated and connected to the wisdom of our nervous system. Simple practices, like observing our surroundings and breathing mindfully, can help us ground ourselves and activate the parasympathetic nervous system for social engagement. These practices cultivate a broader window of tolerance, enabling us to face challenges with greater clarity.

There are many ways in which we can regulate the nervous system. Here's one that I occasionally share in my work:

• Look around wherever you are right now. You can let your eyes go wherever they want. Look around, above, below you.
• Breathe in. Breathe out. Allow yourself to relax in a natural and curious way.
• Notice how your head and neck move as you look around.
• What do you notice? See if you can tune into the actual experiencing of seeing. What colours do you see? What shape do you see? Notice how you feel inside as you look around.
• How do you feel in your body? What shift do you experience? What difference do you notice?

This short practice, which we can engage with each time we feel strong emotions in face of a challenge, can help our body know where it is, which is naturally calming and settling. Also, when we tune into the actual experience of seeing, we activate the muscles behind our eyes, head and neck which are connected to the vagus nerve, thus helping us calm and settle the nervous system. This is how we can move into a state of social engagement. The more we do this, the more we can broaden our window of tolerance.

Embracing uncertainty becomes less daunting when we embrace the power of resilience and tune into the wisdom of our nervous system. By recognising our body's cues and regulating our responses, we can navigate through uncertainties with a sense of purpose and calm. Resilience becomes our ally in facing change, transforming uncertainties into opportunities for growth, creativity, and positive transformation. So, let us connect with our inner resilience and confidently embrace the uncharted path ahead.

#change #uncertainty #nervoussystem #resilience #growth