Faceplants, Failures, and Screw Ups: The Tao Path to Authentic Success

"The Tao is (like) the emptiness of a vessel; and in our employment of it, we must be on our guard against all fullness. How deep and unfathomable it is, as if it were the Honored Ancestor of all things!

We should blunt our sharp points, and unravel the complications of things; we should attemper our brightness, and bring ourselves into agreement with the obscurity (of others). This is called 'the Mysterious Agreement.'

(Such an one) cannot be treated familiarly or distantly; he is beyond all consideration of profit or injury; of nobility or meanness:—he is the noblest man under heaven."

• Lao Tzu

"The chill leader gets it done without being an a**hole, influences without Jedi mind tricks, guides without being a puppet master."

When it comes to business leadership, particularly in sales, there's a widespread belief that leadership equals being the biggest, baddest gorilla in the room – it's all about flexing your muscles and showing them who's boss. But the Tao te Ching says, "Hold my drink," and offers an entirely different take. It's not about ruling with an iron fist but about helping others find their own strength. It's not about being the puppet master but about being the inspiration. It's not about tricking people into doing things but about authentically motivating them to act.

Consider the concept of coaching, which is basically the leadership equivalent of teaching your kid to ride a bike. The old-school method might be to bark orders at your team, telling them what to do, how to do it, and when to do it. But Tao-style coaching is more like asking the right questions, actively listening, and offering guidance but also letting them scrape their knees a bit. It's about empowering your team members to figure out their own stuff, solve their own problems, and own their own success.

"The zen leader talks straight, acts like they mean it, leads without acting like a big shot."

In the cutthroat world of sales, it's easy to lose yourself in the hustle. We might be tempted just to say what the customer wants to hear, act in ways that might get us the sale but make us feel dirty inside, or throw others under the bus when things go south. But the Tao, that old sage, reminds us that authenticity, integrity, and humility are the real swagger in the game of leadership.

Authenticity is about being true to yourself, your values, and your vision. It's about speaking your truth, even when it's uncomfortable. It's about showing up as your authentic, imperfect human self, not a polished, perfect sales persona.

Integrity is about aligning your actions with your words, behavior with your beliefs, and decisions with your values. It's about doing the right thing, even when it's hard, even when no one is looking, even when there's a cost involved.

Humility is about recognizing that you don't have all the answers, that you can learn from others, and that you can make mistakes and learn from them. It's about giving credit where it's due, celebrating your team's success, and seeing your role as a servant leader, not as a superior boss.

"The wise leader understands that influence is not about pushing, but about pulling. It's not about selling, but about serving."

Sales is often seen as a pushy activity where you need to convince, persuade, or even manipulate people to buy your product or service. But the Tao shows us a different way. It shows us that influence is not about pushing but about pulling. It's not about selling, but about serving.

When you serve your customers and genuinely care about their needs, challenges, and aspirations, you pull them towards you. You create a relationship based on trust and respect, a relationship where they want to listen to you, learn from you, and buy from you. As my leader Todd Rathje says, "Companies don’t buy software; people do” - and he couldn't be more right.

As we all know, sales can often feel like a hot, sweaty, wrestling match, where the goal is to pin the customer down long enough to close the deal. But the Tao introduces a new move. It tells us that real influence isn't shoving your product or service down people's throats but about attracting them towards you.

When you genuinely care about your customers - their needs, pain points, and dreams - you don't push them; you magnetize them. You establish a relationship based on trust and respect, a relationship where they want to hear from you, learn from you, and, yes, buy from you.

"The flexible leader knows that the way to influence others is not by flexing, but by setting the pace."

The most authentic form of influence isn't in what you say but in what you do. It's not about preaching values from a soapbox but about living those core values. It's not about telling others what to do but leading by example.

As a sales leader, your team is watching your every move. They're looking at how you handle the heat, how you bounce back from a failure, how you treat customers, how you integrate work and life. If you want to influence them, don't tell them. Show them.

"The authentic leader inspires others not by flaunting their new Rolex, but by sharing their faceplants."

In the sales world, success is often treated like a flashy sports car - everyone's talking about it, and everyone wants a piece of it. But we don't often talk about the faceplants, the failures, the screw-ups.

The Tao reminds us that sharing our struggles isn't a sign of weakness but a badge of honor. It shows others that it's okay to stumble, that it's okay to fail, that it's okay to be perfectly imperfect. It makes us human, relatable, and approachable. It creates a culture of openness, learning, and growth.

Let's dive into a couple of real-world examples of leaders who've taken the 4th verse of the Tao Te Ching to heart.

Satya Nadella - The Tao Master of 微软 : This tech-guru-turned-Taoist-style-leader took over Microsoft's helm in 2014. The company was stuck in the past, clunky like Clippy, and Nadella started turning things around, not by playing corporate God, but by acting as a humble servant-leader. He pushed for a shift in company culture, focusing on learning and growth instead of know-it-all-ness. He'd say things like, "We're in the learn-it-all business, not the know-it-all business." That's some Tao-level wisdom right there. Under his leadership, Microsoft stopped trying to be the cool kid and started being the helpful neighbor instead, collaborating with rivals like Linux, Apple, and even open-source communities. Now, the company is thriving more than ever, and all because of Nadella's humble, Tao-inspired leadership.

Jacinda Ardern - The Tao Queen of @New Zealand: This prime minister has been a beacon of Tao-style leadership. When a terrible terrorist attack hit Christchurch, she didn't impose, manipulate, or control. Instead, she led with compassion, authenticity, and humility. She didn't just talk about unity; she lived it by donning a hijab in solidarity with the Muslim community. When COVID hit, she guided the country not through fear-mongering but through clear communication, empathy, and sensible decisions. And when she was re-elected, she didn't flaunt her victory but thanked the voters with humility and grace. Now, that's a leader who knows her Tao.

These leaders didn't need to shout, dictate, or impose their will. They embodied the Tao, leading with a gentle hand, guiding with wisdom, and inspiring with authenticity. They understood that leadership isn't about control; it's about empowering others. And they've got the results to prove it. So next time you're in a leadership conundrum, remember the Tao. And ask yourself, "What would Nadella or Ardern do?"

So, as we journey through the delicate dance of influence and authenticity, strive to lead without being a dick, influence without using Jedi mind tricks, and guide without playing puppet master. Speak your truth, act with integrity, and lead with humility. Understand the power of attracting, not shoving, of serving, not selling. Inspire others through your example, your faceplants, and your humanity.

May you live your Tao with wisdom, authenticity, and heart. And may you inspire others to do the same.