Face your Leadership Fears

Being a leader can be one of the most rewarding roles you will ever have in your career.? You have the ability to guide the organization, support and watch your team grow, and feel like you are actually making a difference.

At the same time, it can also be one of the most difficult roles too.

It is lonely at the top. ?

And most leaders must face fears unique to their position.

Let’s talk about leadership fears.

Here are ten of the most common fears felt by leaders (make a note of which apply to you):

Fear of failure

You feel the accountability of your role. It is important and you don’t want to mess it up - but you are afraid you will anyway.? It haunts you every step of the way and no matter what successes you might have it could all be gone in a moment.?

Previously, you only needed to worry about your own work. Now you’re afraid if any thing goes even slightly wrong, it will be YOUR fault and YOU will take the blame.? This causes you to hold on tighter, your thinking and decisions become more rigid (and brittle), and, at worst, you start micro-managing your employees. ?

What can you do?

Consider mistakes from a different perspective.? Rarely, does a single error end in disaster for managers.? And you will never be able to control all the variables. ?

Instead, look at failure as an opportunity to learn.? Analyze what went wrong, identify the gap, and use that knowledge to improve future decisions - with grace.? Furthermore, build resilience by sharing your experience with others.? Make it OKAY for others to talk about their failures so that everyone can learn together.

Fear of facing the challenges alone

Many people suffer alone when they are promoted into a new role.? This can happen to new managers and even people promoted into leadership roles.? You are afraid to ask for help when you don’t know something because you don’t want to appear like you don’t know what you’re doing in front of your bosses.

As a result, you feel isolated, insecure, and facing other job fears alone.? Stress, depression, and burnout are just around the corner…

What can you do?

Don’t wait for someone to come rescue you.? Go out and build a network of support.? This could include peer-level managers, mentors, and/or coaches who can provide you with guidance, share their experiences, and offer perspective. ?

At the same time, foster open communication and support for others.? Remember, they will have their own fears too.? Your support network can benefit everyone in the group.

Fear of having to have all the answers

Other leaders before you have acted with such confidence and determination they must have known what to do.? Therefore, YOU should know what to do too, right?? You rush around trying to learn everything about everyone’s job. And when that isn’t enough you start making assumptions to hide the fact you don’t know something.

You can’t be seen not to know anything because that would just prove you don’t know what you are doing.? But you start making mistakes and jumping to false conclusions and people are starting to notice…

What can you do?

Start by recognizing the knowledge and expertise of the people on your team.? Encourage collaboration and seek their input and opinions.? You are still the one making the decision but now you can do it from an informed place.? AND when you engage them, your team feels involved and that they matter.

Demonstrate humility. It is okay to say “I don’t know, let’s find out”. Make it okay not to know something and encourage curiosity and action to learn the right answers.

Fear of confrontation

Conflict is difficult and you are really uncomfortable when people are angry or argumentative. As a result, you try to avoid having difficult conversations. Maybe the problem will go away? But the problem won’t go away and you start allowing bad behaviour or situations to continue. ?

Yet you are afraid to act - what if by acting it gets even worse?!

What can you do?

You are the leader and are accountable for solving problems.? And your team is looking for you to step forward and help them get through the most challenging ones. ?

Start by preparing for the difficult conversation.? Be clear on the facts, anticipate obstacles or places of resistance, and articulate the desired outcome.? Use active listening and measured speech to both hear what is actually being said and to keep yourself in control. ?

Approach these challenging situations as a means to resolve issues and build relationships - not as a personal attack.

Fear of being disliked

You imagine a happy, harmonious team of friendly colleagues all getting along. But secretly you fear your team will turn against you, they’ll talk behind your back, and even despise you.?

And so you are afraid to make unpopular decisions - even if they’re the right decisions. You fail to enforce rules or deliver criticism because you don’t want to be seen as the “bad boss”.? As a result, you end up undermining trust in your leadership and they end up not liking you anyway.

What can you do?

Frame tough decisions or feedback as necessary for the team’s (or organization’s) success. It is not personal but you need to ensure everyone is moving in the right direction.? Find the balance between empathy and assertiveness. ?

Build stronger relationships with your team and colleagues through regular, open communication.? Show that you value their contribution and help address issues before they become problems. ?

Fear of not meeting expectations

You were the top pick for promotion and thus you feel there are high expectations for your performance from your boss and upper management.? But those expectations, whether they were formally communicated or not, seem so high that you’re afraid you have no hope of ever meeting them.

You are plagued by feelings of inadequacy. No manner of on-the-job success will ever be enough. ?

What can you do?

Clarify the expectations with your boss and your key stakeholders - and set realistic goals.? Stretch targets are fine but they have to be in the realm of the possible.? Regularly check-in to ensure you are properly aligned with the expectations. ?

Put your focus on progress rather than perfection.? And celebrate small wins along the way. ?

Fear of team’s underperformance

You are so afraid your leadership will be judged harshly if your team underperforms, you start obsessing over their work, clambering for success no matter the costs (or the circumstances).? You even begin to stress about aspects that are outside your control.

To shield yourself from blame, you start blaming others for anything that doesn’t go perfectly.? Team morale suffers and trust in your leadership erodes.

What can you do?

Be objective about the team’s performance. Recognize good behaviour and quality work - even if the results do not match what you had hoped.? Let your team know you support them and help them overcome obstacles.

Furthermore, actively develop your team’s knowledge and skill.? Provide regular training, mentorship, and clear performance expectations and feedback.

Fear of uncertainty

You discover being a leaders does not automatically provide you with clear answers.? There is no perfect, logical, right-path to follow.? The way forward is filled with obstacles and challenges no matter the direction you take.

How do you make a decision if you don’t even know what is right?? You hesitate as you stare into the dark void ahead of you…

What can you do?

Clearly communicate the nature of the challenge even when all the details are unknown. What is known and what is unknown?? Involve the team in helping to obtain more information, find solutions, and recognize the progress being made to overcome the uncertainty.

Project calm. Your team is likely more afraid about the uncertainty than you are and they are looking to you for reassurance.? Remain adaptable and open to new information.

Fear of being exposed as inadequate

This is imposter’s syndrome.? You are constantly doubting your ability and confidence.? You are deeply afraid it is only a matter of time before your colleagues or your box “find the truth” about you - and FIRE YOU! ?

This fear causes you to hold back, make safe choices, minimize risk, and generally stick with what you know at all costs.? As a result, you lose opportunities and performance is marginal.

What can you do?

Embrace a growth mindset.? Look for opportunities to learn and develop your skills as a leader and knowledge of your business.? Actively cultivate a network of trusted advisors, experts, mentors and coaches to support your growth.

And talk about what you are learning.? Help other people see the benefits of development and make it okay not to be perfect.

Fear of making the wrong decision

The right answer evades you and every decision seems fraught with difficulty.? As a result, you hesitate to make a decision or you waffle back and forth between your options. ?

This indecisions undermines trust in your judgement and risks making the issue worse as time is wasted waiting for you to make up your mind.

What can you do?

Recognize when you are missing information that will help you make a decision.? Seek out input from your team and other experts to ensure you have as much of the right information as possible. ?

But also recognize there may be times when you will never have enough information.? Building on the knowledge you have available and aligning with the goals of the organization, make the decision and move forward.? Own the decision (you made the best one you could given what you knew) and learn from your mistakes.

Which of these fears do you most identify with?? Tell us about your experience in the comments.

And, if you are in the midst of facing any one of these fears, remember, you do not have to face them alone.? Send me a DM and let’s get on a call.? I regularly help clients take an honest look at the fears and obstacles in their career (and life!) to get them aligned with what is most important to them and moving forward.

If you just need to talk through what you are feeling, I am here to listen.

In the meantime, this week, I also published several videos exploring a variety of topics.

Decoding Self-Talk

You know the feeling when you are facing a challenge and you hear that voice inside your head that tells you you’re not ready, it is not the right time, or that you are simply not good enough? That voice is sabotaging your growth.

In this video, I discuss a simple technique to gain a new perspective on that voice and allow you to move forward despite your fears.

How long do you need to make a great response?

You listen to the guy across the table make an outrageous comment and all you want to do is yell at him and tell him his ideas are stupid.? But you are also a leaders and you know you are accountable for communicating in a thoughtful and productive manner.

In this video, I discuss three techniques you can use to calm yourself down in the moment and allow yourself time to craft an appropriate response.

Where is YOUR support?

You spend your time and effort supporting your team and completing your work program. But you fail to spend any of that effort on yourself.? You feel lost, don’t know what you want to do with your career, and risk stagnating. ?

In this video, I talk about your two options when it comes to finding your own support.

Until next week, let us know what your fears are as a leader in the comments. And, if you really need someone to support you, let's get on a call!