Face It 'Til You Make It
I worked with a client—I’ll use the name Sarah—who had recently stepped into the leading role for her organization.
The transition had been an emotional one for her, as the board had weighed the benefit of promoting her and her close peer to a co-executive directorship.
In the end, the board decided against that option and made her the offer. Her peer resigned in response; something she regretted deeply.
And, even though she had shared her office with her former executive director for many years, she was surprised at how much she didn’t know when it came to effectively leading the same team.
The combination of guilt at being the "chosen" one, and the shock that can ensue when managing people gets REAL, found Sarah struggling to own her new role.
Sarah knew she needed to break through the barriers that were holding her confidence back and impacting her leadership credibility, but how to start?
Sarah was grappling with "imposter syndrome," which describes a dynamic that begins with a belief that one isn’t good enough or deserving, thus one must work extra hard to prove one’s worth, all the while fearing that others will see through the "act."
Imposter syndrome is a tough saboteur, or critical inner voice, to wrestle with. In my experience, the root of imposter syndrome is not feeling credible in one’s OWN eyes!
If a person doesn’t feel they have sufficient evidence to meet their own criteria for competence, I propose there isn’t much another person can do to convince them otherwise!
So, what does it take to break through imposter syndrome to lead true?
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It takes proving one’s own credibility to oneself!
But, here’s the rub. Proving one’s own credibility needs to be done within a larger narrative, or framework, that is compassionate but includes some tough love, too. One has to be willing to assess the situation accurately, authentically, and honestly, with new eyes.
And then, one has to be ready to FACE it (not fake it) until they MAKE it.
In the case of Sarah, it meant exploring alternative narratives to the one she had locked herself into, and through that process finding forgiveness, healing, real competence, and strength.
As she generated new evidence to claim credibility from within, she took command and full ownership of her leadership. Her readiness to confidently face her new responsibility was transformed.
What is a situation where you might have an opportunity to "break through" in order to lead true?
What is a belief or narrative you might be holding that merits a compassionate, but uncompromisingly honest, look?
How might that reveal a more productive take on reality that can generate your authentic confidence?
Yours on the journey,
Martha
I use my psychic abilities and experience as a management consultant to help corporate executives and business owners evaluate options and get clarity about next steps.
9 个月P.S. I love your newsletter title, Mandala Metaview!
I use my psychic abilities and experience as a management consultant to help corporate executives and business owners evaluate options and get clarity about next steps.
9 个月Societal power dynamics have a role in determining who finds themselves in the combinations of doubt, guilt, anxiety, and sometimes buried or multi-generational self-loathing that we categorize as Imposter Syndrome. Not everyone is born as likely to experience it. Subsequent life experiences of oppression and victimization increase the probability one will experience it. It's a good example of the "psychiatrization" and over-emphasis on individuality that allows us to overlook systemic inequities -- those that I know you, Martha, do care about and are aware of.
Strategic growth and operations leader.
9 个月Powerful story Martha!l. Thanks for sharing!