This is the Face of Pain

Here I am at a birthday party for my grandson, Donovan, pictured here. He is a 7-year-old bundle of jokes, gymnastics, and imagination. For this picture he was learning to take selfies and wanted to be sure he had a selfie with me. Anyway, the point is, despite my expression in this picture, I'm in pain, which is the long-term result of a past accident. For me, pain exists every day and all day. Besides the pain from multiple corrective surgeries, I live with peripheral neuropathy, which is a condition where your body continually attempts to rebuild the damaged nerves in your forearms, hands, calves, and feet, which in turn leads to chronic pain. I don't share this as an attempt for sympathy. My pain has led to moments of great enlightenment and understanding, as well as days where the "hardest part" is simply exiting the bed knowing that it will feel as though I'm stepping on needles, every step, and migraines. The reason for sharing this was inspired by a conversation from yesterday. A person I work with said to me, "You know, it really doesn't look like you suffer from any pain." I replied, "That's because I always try to put on my best face and lie to you about how I feel." Now, I know how that sounds, but I would lie to anyone who asks about my pain. Hell, I lie to myself about it, so why wouldn't I lie to you??

There are many other people in the world like me who live with chronic pain yet go through their day as if nothing is wrong, which leads to the misconception that you have to look as though you're in pain, otherwise you must not be. I'm here to tell you that simply is not true. That really is the point here. Many people live with pain or other chronic conditions yet get up and get moving despite the problem. The Robin Williams quote, "Be kind to others. You never know what battle they're fighting." is truer than most believe. Now I'm not naive enough to think the world is suddenly going to be nice to each other simply because they understand what Robin Williams was trying to say, but a little understanding can go a long way.

The second reason for sharing this, was simply because this morning I awoke with serious pain, and getting out of bed was difficult, to say the least. Yet, here I am working and writing. Sometimes my inspiration to face the day is doing my best to master the pain, the body, and the mind. "It is not death or pain that is to be feared, but the fear of death or pain." - Epictetus. I know the quote belongs to someone else, but my parents always told me, get up, dress up, and show up, no matter how you feel. You'll be proud of the work you put in. Don't you hate it when your parents were right??