The F Word
Nancy John, CTDP ACC
Leadership Coach to Introverted Leaders ? Leadership Facilitator ? Leadership Strategy Consultant ? Team Development ? Speaker ? Equipping Introverted Leaders to build Influence & Visibility
Making Feedback Less Prickly
“Do you have a minute? I wanted to give you some feedback.”
If we’re being honest, for most of us, our backs go up when we hear this statement.
First off, let’s acknowledge that there is an emotional component to feedback. For the giver and the receiver. Is that bad, though? Our emotions make us human. In her book, Good to Great, Kim Scott says it best, “Your humanity is an asset to your effectiveness, not a liability.”
Yet the fact remains that, although we see feedback as a “must have”, no one really wants to put it into action. Kind of like eating broccoli.
I’m guessing the issue is that feedback has been “done” poorly so often that now the mention of the word makes our spidey senses go off.
Let’s start with taking some of the weight off the word itself. Think of feedback simply as an information loop. It delivers to you the information you really need to know – both good and bad… so you can decide how to or not to move forward.
Now for the “how”. Like any other skill, effective feedback requires practice. And if you have a model to follow, it helps with internalizing and improving.
There are many solid feedback models out there. One of the most common ones is SBI-A:
- Situation – Refer to the specific situation (what, when, where)
- Behaviour – Describe the behaviour you observed NOT what you think happened or why
- Impact – Describe how their behaviour made you feel, the impact on results (use “I” statements vs. “You” statements)
- Alternative or Add More –
Negative: Discuss alternative behaviours that could be more effective OR
Positive: Discuss how to do more of or build on the behaviour for even better results
<Key word here is discuss… it’s not a monologue>
This model DOES NOT take out emotion. Instead, it makes room for objective observation + genuine conversation.
Remember, feedback is meant to be an information loop for both the positive and negative. Don’t sluff off positive feedback with “nice job!” That’s lazy and uncaring. So is avoiding being specific with negative feedback. Care Deeply and Challenge Directly.
How do you care deeply and challenge directly? Share your thoughts and approach with giving feedback in the comments.
People, Culture, Coaching, Change | ACMP Board of Directors - ON | 3X Published Author - Unlocking the power of possibility, productivity & profitability!
5 年In the Feedback model I share with clients the first step is seeking permission that now is a good time to talk. Vs, I have some feedback for you. There is a difference and checks in to ensure now is actually a good time for someone to hear what you have to say.