F*** People—Buy The Red Car

What I mean by this (and so very sorry for those sensitive ears that shy away from such honest talk) is that you can never please everyone, so there comes a time in your life when you simply have to say “f*** people” and get on with your business.

The term people pleaser is a commonly heard one in the psychology world. It basically describes any individual who struggles with allowing people’s opinions and approval dictate how they live their lives. Sadly, every decision then becomes wrought with angst and—in essence—becomes its own dilemma depending on who that individual is allowing to guide what actions they do or do not ultimately take.

This mentality is debilitating, essentially causing humans to become puppets to society and its fickle whims and fleeting approval. Think about it: If you buy the red car, people will say you should have gotten the blue one. Finally mustered up the courage to start your own business? Sure enough, people will come out of the woodwork to say you should have gotten a steady and dependable job instead of taking such a risk.

You get married, and inevitably, the ink will be barely dry on your signed wedding certificate before those in your life will say you should have stayed single or that you picked the wrong partner. Opt for a hands-on apprenticeship or go into some other worthy trade, and naysayers will arrive on the scene to declare that you should’ve gone to college. The list goes on, but you get the picture.

This people-pleasing mentality is a real problem today. And I think this all ties back to the evolution of what people define as being successful. It is such a subjective thing—success. Yet so many in society would have you believe that there is one specific measure of it, and you must abide by that picture, right down to the last detail.

But I challenge this idea and beg the question: Why do you have to take the exact steps that society dares to dictate? Why do you have to conform to such a rigid view and scope to be deemed successful? Why can’t success be the product and destination of many different (and winding) paths?

But friends, it can! And the way this can occur is so scarily simple. Three wondrous words can free you entirely. Let it go. “It” being that monstrous uphill battle that is society’s rigid expectations and impossible ideals. Let go of the care and fretting—the endless and agonizing pursuit of earning that perfect score and ever-elusive approval from everyone.

Instead, I challenge you to focus on one: You. What makes YOU happy? What do you feel is important in life? What do you value? Therein lies your picture of success—the only image you need to fill your mind and place your focus upon.

Liken it to the famous line from “Gone with the Wind” when Rhett Butler boldly looks at Scarlett O’ Hara and declares, without an ounce of apology: “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn!”

He was onto something, and so I will say again: F*** people. F*** people who seek to force you to adhere to that linear path, leaving no room for forging your own. Nullify the naysayers, and choose you.

Bottom Line: People will always hate on you no matter what you’re going to do, so you should just do what you want, and (shocker!) just be happy.