Eye Contact: Teach your children well
Peter Roskam
Partner / Federal Policy Practice Leader / Former U.S. Congressman / Host "The Cloakroom with Peter Roskam" podcast
“Give him a firm handshake and look him in the eye.”
This refrain echoes from my childhood.?I heard these two simple instructions for years.?If there were approaching adults to be greeted, my dad would prompt me to be ready. He’d remind me in their presence and if I didn’t get it right, he would have me actually step back and try again.?
A limp handshake made my him crazy. You know the kind that dissolves on contact. So too, the incomplete hand clasp which comes off like a royal greeting.
No, the hand shake had to be confident but not cocky; and no hand squeezing or arm shaking like a clown.?The pace, pressure and angle all mattered.?So did the eye contact. ?
Upping the ante on this teaching regimen, my dad would pull me out of class to go on sales trips with him.?He knew I was going to learn more with him on the road than I would in the classroom.?He was right. ?
One Monday morning in fifth grade I woke to these delightful words:
“Peter, do you want to go to California today?” ?
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The memory of it still thrills me.?I couldn’t believe my ears.?An hour later we were driving past school to pick up lessons and that afternoon we were landing in San Francisco. ?
I’d accompany him on sales calls and to dinner with his customers.?l looked forward to the end of the meal when my dad would hand me his AmEX card, have me figure the tip, pay the bill and even sign his name.?
I’d go to industry conferences too.?One Halloween my little sister and I went trick-or-treating at the Southern Agricultural Chemical Association annual meeting where we knocked on the hotel doors of conference attendees.?Of course they had no candy and so they gave us money instead. It was our first side hustle!
Well, something interesting happens when you encourage a child to look an adult in the eye and talk to them at dinner.?The child gains confidence and feels special by being included.?He also learns he is not always the center of attention and is expected to listen quietly.
Those of us in the marketplace today know the pressure it places on family. While not everyone can pull their kids from school for business travel, we can intentionally seek opportunities to introduce our children to the world of commerce and profession.?Without question this early seed planting bears fruit in the years to come. ?
I’d love to hear other strategies for connecting family and work.?Comment below.?
Certified Executive Coach with Selection and Development Assessment Expertise
2 年Your Dad was a great guy. I loved reading this story. Thanks for sharing it.
Experienced Governmental Relations Director
2 年What I tell my girls before any 4H judging/job interview/scholarship committee, etc
Encoursa CPE for CPAs
2 年Amazing! I took my 3 yo and 1yo to the tail-end of an outdoor networking event recently. They enjoyed the fruit platter. ;) As they get older I will be sure to incorporate the advice on handshakes and eye contact. Your dad was way ahead of his time in integrating work and family life. I love to hear stories like this one!
Manager of Academic Advising and Partnerships at Wheaton College Graduate School
2 年My kids still talk about your dad teaching them to shake hands properly :) and his bag of candy!