(EXURB) CHAPTER 6: WELL-BEING THROUGH THE CHAOS

Since that is the case, everyone’s wellbeing regimen will be different also. I talked about a variety of methods that can be used, many in tandem. I personally used several, that ranged from prayer and meditation to exercise and mindfulness. My youngest daughter chose to let hSince that is the case, everyone’s wellbeing regimen will be different also. I talked about a variety of methods that can be used, many in tandem. I personally used several, that ranged from prayer and meditation to exercise and mindfulness. My youngest daughter chose to let her feelings out on the soccer field. Our children will handle their grief differently, and if they are handling it, allow their ways to blossom, unless they become self-destructive behaviors. A good wellbeing and self-care regimen can be incorporated into your child-raising opportunities as well.

I told you that Morgan used to take me on walks in nature. Both girls encouraged me to cook, and Ryan was the one who encouraged me to explore my passions of writing, speaking, and creating videos. All these are examples of working with your children to discover what is new in you. The byproduct is the bond that you create with your children. Simultaneously, everyone gets to explore a better sense of self. This mutual influence leads to a supportive environment where everyone learns and grows together, enriching the overall family dynamic.?

This is simple to implement but difficult to achieve because feelings will get in the way and some days will be better than others but treat it like the stock market. Some days it will be up, others down, and some days it will just maintain its levels. There is a constant ebb and flow in the life of a sole solo parent, but it is always interesting. Look at things from that angle, instead of a doom and gloom aspect. Doing that helps to manage the attitude in relation to wellbeing and self-care.

I will not tell you that every day will be peaches and cream because that would be a flat out lie. I had many days in which I was feeling the crunch, stings, and pressures of my circumstance, but realized that this is a marathon and not a sprint. Each day reveals something new in your world. Because it’s presenting you with something new, it means you and the kids are changing. Transformation is evolution, and evolution is growth. You see how that happens. Hey, perspective matters. That is yet another thing you will often hear throughout this book. You cannot expect it to be like a TV show where the troubles are solved and solutions found in an hour. It does not work that way. See your new experience as the journey it is and realize that you are taking steps to discover someone and something that has been locked up inside you for a long time. Unfortunately, it was unlocked due to challenging episodes in your life, and although we did not want it to happen, we would not be on this quest if it did not.

Back to wellbeing and self-care. These aspects of your life are urgent for you to address because they are core to managing your feeling in relation to your loss. Understand that you become stronger every day you go back into battle and even on those days you were battered and bruised, valuable lessons were obtained. The learning process is never easy. Some things may naturally come to you, but others are concepts that you must buckle down and study. Studying in the form of loss comes in the lessons you learn from the loss. This is not to disparage what has happened to you, because your feelings about it are yours and to you it is truth.

Do not let anyone convince you that your feelings are not real to you. I remember going to a self-help group (I will not disclose the name) but the facilitator kept telling me that I was lying to myself about how I felt and that I will never recover from my grief unless I admit the way I felt was a lie. She invalidated my emotions, by making me feel as if they were not true, to a point where she attempted to make me feel like I was lying about my emotion. Was she was doing is what is known as Emotional Invalidation.?

A 2021 article on the website PsychCentral , talked about how this act can be performed on a griever either intentionally in an attempt to control them or unintentionally by well-meaning sympathizers. The writers said, “Emotional invalidation is the act of dismissing or rejecting someone’s thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. It says to someone: “Your feelings don’t matter. Your feelings are wrong.”?(Litner and Carrico). ?Needless to say, that was short lived, but some people attempt to fit you into their boxes, even the people that seem to want to help.

It stinks but the reality is that you must do the hard work on your own. There is a difference between reaching out for assistance or a helping hand and looking for something or someone to solve your problems, because they will attempt to have you solve them in the manner they did. It is never a bad thing to take bits and pieces of other people’s journey’s but understand that ultimately your new mission is all on you. It sounds dreadful but the reality is that it will present rays of sunshine once you get through the rain and cloud cover, so grab your knapsack, umbrella and goulashes. Keep moving forward. You are built for this.

?er feelings out on the soccer field. Our children will handle their grief differently, and if they are handling it, allow their ways to blossom, unless they become self-destructive behaviors. A good wellbeing and self-care regimen can be incorporated into your child-raising opportunities as well.

I told you that Morgan used to take me on walks in nature. Both girls encouraged me to cook, and Ryan was the one who encouraged me to explore my passions of writing, speaking, and creating videos. All these are examples of working with your children to discover what is new in you. The byproduct is the bond that you create with your children. Simultaneously, everyone gets to explore a better sense of self. This mutual influence leads to a supportive environment where everyone learns and grows together, enriching the overall family dynamic.?

This is simple to implement but difficult to achieve because feelings will get in the way and some days will be better than others but treat it like the stock market. Some days it will be up, others down, and some days it will just maintain its levels. There is a constant ebb and flow in the life of a sole solo parent, but it is always interesting. Look at things from that angle, instead of a doom and gloom aspect. Doing that helps to manage the attitude in relation to wellbeing and self-care.

I will not tell you that every day will be peaches and cream because that would be a flat out lie. I had many days in which I was feeling the crunch, stings, and pressures of my circumstance, but realized that this is a marathon and not a sprint. Each day reveals something new in your world. Because it’s presenting you with something new, it means you and the kids are changing. Transformation is evolution, and evolution is growth. You see how that happens. Hey, perspective matters. That is yet another thing you will often hear throughout this book. You cannot expect it to be like a TV show where the troubles are solved and solutions found in an hour. It does not work that way. See your new experience as the journey it is and realize that you are taking steps to discover someone and something that has been locked up inside you for a long time. Unfortunately, it was unlocked due to challenging episodes in your life, and although we did not want it to happen, we would not be on this quest if it did not.

Back to wellbeing and self-care. These aspects of your life are urgent for you to address because they are core to managing your feeling in relation to your loss. Understand that you become stronger every day you go back into battle and even on those days you were battered and bruised, valuable lessons were obtained. The learning process is never easy. Some things may naturally come to you, but others are concepts that you must buckle down and study. Studying in the form of loss comes in the lessons you learn from the loss. This is not to disparage what has happened to you, because your feelings about it are yours and to you it is truth.

Do not let anyone convince you that your feelings are not real to you. I remember going to a self-help group (I will not disclose the name) but the facilitator kept telling me that I was lying to myself about how I felt and that I will never recover from my grief unless I admit the way I felt was a lie. She invalidated my emotions, by making me feel as if they were not true, to a point where she attempted to make me feel like I was lying about my emotion. Was she was doing is what is known as Emotional Invalidation.?

A 2021 article on the website PsychCentral , talked about how this act can be performed on a griever either intentionally in an attempt to control them or unintentionally by well-meaning sympathizers. The writers said, “Emotional invalidation is the act of dismissing or rejecting someone’s thoughts, feelings, or behaviors. It says to someone: “Your feelings don’t matter. Your feelings are wrong.”?(Litner and Carrico). ?Needless to say, that was short lived, but some people attempt to fit you into their boxes, even the people that seem to want to help.

It stinks but the reality is that you must do the hard work on your own. There is a difference between reaching out for assistance or a helping hand and looking for something or someone to solve your problems, because they will attempt to have you solve them in the manner they did. It is never a bad thing to take bits and pieces of other people’s journey’s but understand that ultimately your new mission is all on you. It sounds dreadful but the reality is that it will present rays of sunshine once you get through the rain and cloud cover, so grab your knapsack, umbrella and goulashes. Keep moving forward. You are built for this.

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