The Extrovert Voice: How the Pandemic pushed me to discover my inner introvert

As I stepped out of the underground parking garage onto the campus promenade I felt my heart fluttering rapidly in my chest and heat rising from the base of my neck. It was so good to be back!? Up until about a year and a half? ago I had arrived on Campus via this very same route and never felt such a strong physiological response.?

Early March 2020 all office staff were commissioned to work from home until further notice. COVID was spreading globally like wildfire and with no available treatments drastic measures, such as this work from home order,? had to be taken to contain the spread.?

As a - sometimes described as “off the scale” - extrovert, spending time with colleagues in meetings, over lunch, in seminars or over coffees has always been the pinnacle of my day, and I am convinced it is an integral part of my professional success. I am a rather talkative, friendly, energetic and outgoing person. I know that these ‘cards’ were dealt for me in utero as I have an identical twin who has exactly these same attributes. Friends frequently say to me “Oh my, are there two of you? “ and laugh in a manner suggesting that two of us may be too much for the world to manage.

That day in March I went home with my heart heavy in my chest. I was not going to be able to meet my colleagues. How would I be able to ‘sense’ them, to infuse my energy, to get ‘charged’ by them?? Extroverts frequently thrive with companionship; they draw energy from others but also infuse energy into others and into situations. Some may say that extroverts can be attention seekers and invest less in deeper relationships. There is definitely some truth there - nonetheless every meeting, setting or gathering does benefit significantly from having that person who keeps the dynamics going, by engaging others and keeping the conversation flowing.?

A component of my role is to organise and drive meetings. I normally ran these meetings in a big airy meeting room - with chairs fitted in a horseshoe pattern to enable us to see as many colleagues as possible. Frequently we have colleagues joining us via VC and I have to be very intentional to remember to include them and solicit their contribution to the discussion at hand. With the onset of the pandemic we moved to using virtual platforms. We were going to be confined to looking at each other over a screen. At first I thought we are doomed! How would I ever be able to facilitate a meeting or command the attention in the way I could at a live meeting to allow us to reach the needed output? After a few days of pitying my situation (not exactly just mine) I started applying creative ideas to kick off team meetings. Each meeting was kicked off with a virtual check that not only inquired into well-being, but also had an additional energizing activity: drawing, crossword puzzles, face offs etc… It was amazing to observe the vigor, laughter and unity with which we tackled the ensuing agenda items.

Overtime I realized I was becoming more absorbed with the self view feature offered by virtual meeting platforms. This feature literally gives one the opportunity to spend the full day in front of a mirror- with no one else knowing. I decided to remove the “self view” option and chose to focus on my colleagues. How was their demeanor? Were they their usual self or different? If they were not themselves, I sent them a chat asking how they were. I realized how much colleagues appreciated that I was really seeing them and taking time to reach out. Some colleagues shared what was going on in their private situations and I realized how little I knew about that aspect of their lives. I reflected that in some of my earlier discussions with them I had maybe spoken so much that they had never had the opportunity! The pandemic was opening channels of information that I had never ventured into.

I also started to see the opportunities that virtual whiteboards provided for the quieter, more reflective colleagues. I started including ‘virtual work time’ in meetings - asking colleagues to enter proposed solutions or reflections in the whiteboard prior to a discussion. What this in fact helped with was to even the contribution playing field for all colleagues, regardless of personality types. I also adopted the use of the ‘raise hand’ functionality which allows the host to see the hands raised in the sequence they were raised. I also however allowed myself to ignore the sequence and select a colleague who had not yet had an opportunity to contribute to the discussion.?

Over the past few months my team have definitely adapted to working virtually. Interestingly at the end of our 6-7 hour monthly meeting I find myself completely drained. I turn off my screen and head out, with my labradoodle, Bamse, to the serenity of the woods. I need that alone time to recharge my energy and become myself again. It’s as if the virtual presence of colleagues has the absolute opposite effect on me than the live meetings. I am not sure whether it’s the fact of staying seated so long, or if it’s because I spend more time observing and staying alert to monitor the functionalities.?

?About that first day back on campus ……. I suddenly saw a ‘stranger’ waving wildly at me. I looked at her body from head to toe and thought who is she?? As I got closer I connected with her smiling? eyes and her face. We had spent many hours in virtual calls and I had never met her! I found myself looking at her from head to toe absorbing every detail of her. She was not just a head to neck virtual transmission. In the pre-pandemic world I would have waved Hi and moved on, as I had so many people to greet, but today I stood and spoke with her. Strangely I almost felt like hugging her, just to get the full sensation of her ‘realness’

As I reflect over the past year and a half, I realize how the pandemic has enabled me to explore elements of me that I never knew existed. I had the ability to really ‘see’ people and the ability to get drained by this increased awareness.

"What about you?"

Have you made some self discoveries during the pandemic? Don’t hold back, share. Let’s all grow together.?