Extraordinary Leaders: The Power of Knowing Oneself

We all want to be an extraordinary leader! No-one leaves home in the morning saying, “Bye honey, I’m off to be rubbish today!”

A while ago I worked with a leader who was taking his organization through change. He was the kind of leader who always got things done. But under the surface, there was a problem. His bright, capable, hard-working team was starting to feel drained and overlooked. They respected his drive, sure, but they couldn’t connect with him. And this was becoming a problem. They wondered if he cared more about the results than he did about them.

I remember having the blunt conversation: “Your team feels like cogs in a machine. They see your focus on hitting targets, but they don’t see you seeing them.” He saw his relentless drive in a new light - as a strength with a shadow. Something that left others feeling unseen and undervalued.

He began examining his strengths and limitations, realizing that his high "Executing" strength—while powerful for achieving goals—was costing him connection with his team. With this insight, he learned to dial back the constant push, making room for engagement and relationship-building. Now, he could both drive results and create a team culture of trust and belonging.

The Four-Part Growth Cycle

This story reflects a core truth about extraordinary leadership: to lead others well, you must first know yourself deeply. This Growth Cycle—self-awareness, self-acceptance, self-improvement, and self-activation—helps people harness their strengths in service of both people and purpose.

1. Self-Awareness: Leadership begins with self-discovery. Our leader learned that his relentless drive, while effective, needed balancing with empathy and attentiveness to others.
2. Self-Acceptance: Embracing strengths and weaknesses alike allows leaders to appreciate who they are without apology. This leader acknowledged both his ability to execute and the blind spots it created.
3. Self-Improvement: Armed with this awareness, he intentionally practiced holding back, making space for others, and listening more deeply.
4. Self-Activation: In the end, he was able to bring his best self forward—achieving goals and building a team culture where everyone felt valued.

Extraordinary Teams and CliftonStrengths

From what we’ve seen in our work across sectors and drawing from Extraordinary Teams by Ryan and Bellman along with the CliftonStrengths model, the best leaders are the ones who truly know and accept themselves. They’re clear on what they bring to the table—their strengths and even their limitations—and they lead with a sense of purpose. These leaders are mindful of how they affect the people around them, which makes all the difference.

When leaders take the time to understand themselves, they show up with a mix of empathy, clarity, and vision that creates a supportive environment for everyone. We’ve seen it happen again and again: these leaders make their teams not only effective but also places where people feel seen, valued, and motivated to give their best. They’re the ones who turn a group of people into something extraordinary.

We’ve had the privilege of witnessing this transformation many times. Leaders who invest in knowing themselves bring a different kind of energy to their teams—one that combines empathy with clarity, vision with care. They’re the ones who foster truly extraordinary teams, where people feel both supported and inspired to do their best work.