Extinguish Burnout

Constantly feeling drained, pessimistic and ineffective might be symptoms of burnout, a widespread yet treatable condition.

If you constantly feel drained, pessimistic and ineffective, you might be suffering from burnout. People who are burned out often feel like hollow versions of themselves. They frequently withdraw from others and turn to addictions and acedia – that is, they no longer care for the pursuits they used to enjoy. They think they can’t change their situations and often fall into the trap of “learned helplessness.” According to Gallup, only a third of employees report feeling engaged at work, and two-thirds of full-time workers suffer from burnout. 

“There are three sources that pour into personal agency: results, support and self-care.”

To prevent burnout, take charge of your “personal agency.” Think of it as a bathtub you need to fill as demands from the outside drain it. Realizing that your work is making a difference and seeing results can help you increase your reservoir of personal agency. Pour in self-care and support from others. Finally, keep the plug on your bathtub secure by limiting the demands that deplete your personal agency.

Develop a fairer perspective on your results by seeking support from others and leaning on self-care. 

People often dismiss their professional successes as smaller than they are. Conversely, they perceive their failures as larger than reality, reflecting only on their personal shortcomings. To develop a fairer perspective on your results, seek the support of others, give yourself time to process the impact of your efforts, and take good care of yourself, starting with getting enough sleep.

“Everyone has a collection of support systems around them that allows them to increase their personal agency.”

Support can come in three different forms: emotional support, material assistance and systemic safety nets. According to psychotherapist David Richo’s book How to Be an Adult in Relationships, an emotionally supportive relationship manifests in five ways:

1. Paying attention to the other person’s needs.
2. Accepting people’s reality as they perceive it, even if you see it differently.
3. Appreciating the other person for who they are.
4. Showing affection in a way the other individual will accept.
5. Allowing other people to make their own choices without trying to dictate their actions.

The support you receive from co-workers, friends and family is a valuable source from which you can refill your personal agency. However, self-support – attending to your physical and mental well-being – “is at the heart of preventing and recovering from burnout.”

Prioritize psychological self-care as much as physical self-care.

To stay physically healthy, try to exercise for 20 to 30 minutes most days of the week, adhere to a consistent sleep schedule, and follow a balanced diet that makes sure you’re well-hydrated.

Psychological self-care includes scrutinizing the voices in your head that claim you “always” fail or “never” succeed. You’ll be more prone to burnout if your negative self-talk persists unnoticed.

“Many of the stories that we tell ourselves are just that – stories.”

Use the following four guidelines to help you evaluate how you talk to yourself every day:

1. Ask yourself how a trusted friend would describe the situation. Would he or she judge the situation or yourself as harshly as you do?
2. Back up your assertions with facts, not generalities. Instead of reminding yourself you’re “a good person,” recall that “you took dinner to a friend from church last week.” 
3. Develop a growth mind-set. Treat yourself as a work in progress, rather than someone whose negative qualities are set in stone. 
4. Reinvigorate yourself through activities that affirm your values.

Psychological self-care also includes “adaptive strategies,” such as engaging with friends, performing good deeds and enjoying hobbies. Compartmentalization can be a good short-term coping strategy for dealing with stress or the death of a loved one. However, it can be destructive if you never process those experiences. And some coping methods can lead to addictions if you overdo them.

Limit outside demands, including those you place on yourself.

In order to avoid burnout, learn to say no to other people’s demands. Set “defining boundaries” against actions that fundamentally challenge your core self. “Protective boundaries” temporarily safeguard your well-being until you’ve refilled your personal agency.

“You’re not completely available to others; you’re appropriately available to others.”

Moreover, notice unrealistic expectations you’ve internalized since childhood, and limit those self-demands as much as you would other people’s demands. The demands that you choose to accommodate should increase your personal agency more than they deplete it. 

Foster a healthy sense of self-esteem.

If you think you’re less capable than you actually are, you may still experience burnout. To prevent or recover from it, seek relevant, consistent feedback on your efforts from those you respect. Avoid comparing yourself to others. Facebook and LinkedIn feature a highlight reel of people’s lives, rather than a true reflection of their struggles.

Sometimes you move forward so slowly that you don’t notice any progress. To measure your advancement and feel more powerful, take a snapshot every day for months to show how far you’ve come.

You don’t always have to be the best in your pursuits. Acknowledge your “personal value” by accepting that you are enough.

“The more we disentangle our inherent worth from what we do, the less susceptible we will become to burnout.”

Many people behave differently when they’re spending time with friends than when they’re at work or at home. It’s exhausting to reveal only the parts of yourself that seem acceptable to one group or another. Counter burnout by consolidating those differing self-images into one.

Define your personal goals by recognizing your motivations.

Goals exist on a spectrum. Some are SMART goals – that is, specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-bound. Others are visions, which describe the general direction in which you’d like to go. Personal goals are in the middle of that spectrum, broad enough to stay flexible but specific enough so you can measure your achievement.

Repeatedly ask why you want to accomplish a specific goal to expose your core motivations. When your goals differ from those of your employer, for example, take steps to align them. Otherwise, you may lose motivation and become burned out.

“By learning what motivates us, we can learn how to motivate ourselves.”

Biological processes, rewards for certain behavior and creative impulses can all motivate you, but they are rarely the most effective motivators. In his book Drive, Daniel Pink explains that artists, authors and musicians rely on another type of motivation that prizes personal autonomy, mastery over their craft and an overarching purpose.

Develop coping strategies that build resilience.

Some of the biggest barriers to effectiveness are internal. Feeling afraid, having difficulties accepting who you are, and claiming responsibility for situations that are out of your control all get in the way of feeling satisfied. Recognize this self-sabotage, and instead seek the truth.

“Resilience is…a rooting in who you are, what you believe and how you’ll behave that allows you to avoid burnout almost passively.”

Develop resistance and, ultimately, resilience by increasing your personal agency. Your ability to cope with problems will thrive as you stay positive with a clear focus on your purpose and who you are. Having a number of goals makes you agile. If you’re stagnant in one area, you can pursue another goal and evaluate your goals overall in the meantime. Maintaining practices that incorporate mindfulness, grit and flow can also help build resilience.

Manage change to help you become more resilient.

According to economist Albert Hirschman, people who live in environments that fundamentally contradict their views have four possibilities for change:

1. Leave the environment.
2. Speak out against the status quo.
3. Ignore the problems.
4. Persist through the situation.

People rarely choose the first two options, since effecting change is difficult and bears many risks. Yet the latter two options make burnout likely. Learn to manage change by maintaining a healthy perspective and being patient as you adapt to issues. As psychologist Walter Mischel’s famous marshmallow test showed, delaying gratification can yield enormous rewards.

“Having patience to wait for what you want can create unexpected opportunities.”

Medical studies have shown that hope can be more potent than a drug, so make optimism a habit. Rather than fretting over the worst that could happen, consider the best-case scenario when you’re facing change.

Psychologist C.R. Snyder writes in The Psychology of Hope that both willpower and waypower fortify someone’s ability to hope. Your willpower is more likely to be low if you’re hungry, angry, lonely or tired, so take breaks to recuperate. Waypower enables you to “create solutions to reach a goal.” Strengthen it by cultivating relevant skills and creativity – a combination that helps fight the fear of failure that resides deeply in human beings.

Manage stress by applying the same techniques you use to fight burnout.

Constantly worrying about your kids or your job causes stress. Long-term stress wears down your immunity, shortens your life, and encourages depression, bad pain management and addiction. To reduce stress, apply the same techniques you use to prevent burnout. Additionally, seek humorous situations, go out into nature and regularly meditate.

Get a perspective on your perspective.

Everyone has blind spots in how we perceive a situation or progress toward a goal. Sometimes, you might feel you’re going nowhere. Get someone else’s perspective on your perspective. Re-evaluate your goals to find out if they matter in the long run. Knowing that most everything you create will disappear can feel freeing.

“Liberation comes as we learn that we don’t have to make big progress on any goal.”

Detach from what you can’t control. While disengagement is a symptom of burnout, detachment can free you to focus on relationships rather than material goods. You can influence the world without bearing the responsibility of changing things outside your power.

Bentley Moore Executive

We hope that you found this summary both insightful and of use.

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About the Authors

Business owner Robert Bogue and clinical nurse specialist Terri Bogue have written more than two dozen books on careers and technology.