Exposing Negotiation Myths: How Self-Awareness Changes Outcomes with Guest Michael Reddington

We are thrilled to share one of the latest episodes of Negotiate Anything, where insightful conversations pave the path to mastering difficult discussions. In this episode, Kwame Christian is interviewed by Michael Reddington, CFI , Certified Forensic Interviewer, President of InQuasive, Inc., and author of The Disciplined Listening Method. Together, they take a deep dive into the nuances of negotiation, self-awareness, and effective communication.

??? Episode Highlights:

1. Michael's Podcast and Book: Discover the "Disciplined Listening Podcast," with over 65 episodes, where Michael explores the nuances of communication and listening. Don’t miss Kwame Christian's appearances! Plus, delve into his book, The Disciplined Listening Method, which offers practical applications across leadership, sales, negotiation, and more. Available on Amazon and Barnes & Noble.
2. The Power of Questions: Learn how to avoid defensive language and implied expected answers to foster honest and open dialogues. Michael shares techniques to ask questions that uncover deeper truths and encourage cooperation.
3. Strategic Conversations: Michael emphasizes focusing on circumstances rather than individuals, using open-ended questions, and validating without indulging in excuses to keep discussions forward-moving and outcome-oriented.
4. Michael’s Interrogation Stories: From retail theft to high-stakes confessions, Michael’s real-life stories illustrate the effectiveness of building rapport and using non-confrontational methods to elicit truthful admissions and maintain relationships.
5. Overcoming Workplace Challenges: Hear how Michael helped Kwame navigate issues with a challenging team member and client relationships by focusing on objective facts, resetting expectations, and maintaining a constructive dialogue.
6. Handling Deceptive Interactions: Understand why deception occurs and how to face it strategically. Michael and Kwame agree that lies often stem from fear; therefore, engaging with empathy and preparation can lead to more honest conversations.
7. Continuous Learning and Relationship Building: Both speakers stress the importance of patience, empathy, and continuous learning to build stronger relationships and achieve better conversational outcomes.

?? Action Steps:

• Reset Client Conversations: Align expectations and address scope to prevent overwork and inefficiency.
• Reallocate Resources: Assess team roles to ensure productivity and harmony.
• Strategize and Meet: Plan a review and strategy session with key stakeholders.

?? Resources for Further Learning:

• The Disciplined Listening Podcast : Available on YouTube, Amazon, Spotify, and Apple.
• The Disciplined Listening Method : More details and purchasing options at disciplinedlistening.com .

Check out this enlightening episode and transform your approach to negotiations and daily interactions.?

This Week on Negotiate Anything

Catalyzing Change from Dialogue to Action: Kwame Christian at the Equity & Inclusion Conference

In this recording from a keynote at the Greater Cleveland Equity Conference, Kwame and interviewer Patrice Blakemore sit down with Selena Cunanan, the Chief Diversity, Equity, and Belonging Officer at University Hospitals. Selena takes us on a journey through the intricacies of negotiation, emphasizing the importance of empathy, relationship-building, and understanding diverse perspectives. Through the lens of Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI), this episode explores practical strategies and frameworks for navigating challenging conversations and driving meaningful change.

Key Takeaways:

• Emotion Management: Handle both your own emotions and those of the other party to maintain clarity and focus during negotiations.
• Building Relationships: Trust and understanding are essential. Engage with others beyond work matters to find common ground and break barriers in DEI work.
• Personal and Professional Alignment: Balancing one's responsibility in DEI roles with personal identity can involve internal negotiation and strategic engagement with sympathetic allies.

Overcoming Nervousness with Insights from Moshe Cohen

In this episode, Kwame converses with Moshe Cohen , a seasoned mediator and negotiation expert, who shares strategies to improve negotiation outcomes, particularly under stress. Drawing from his extensive teaching career at Boston University and his work as a mediator since 1995, Moshe discusses the real-life application of negotiation principles, covering themes such as the power of listening, managing internal narratives, and the importance of personalizing negotiation techniques.

Key Takeaways:

• Active Listening: Moshe emphasizes that true listening requires conscious effort and is more than just waiting for your turn to speak. By focusing on understanding rather than refuting, negotiators can gain strategic insights into what the other person truly needs.
• Curiosity and Empathy in Negotiations: Effective negotiators prioritize understanding the other party through curiosity and empathy. This approach shifts the focus from winning the argument to achieving mutually beneficial outcomes.
• Managing Negotiation Moments: Recognizing critical moments in negotiations and slowing down the process can help maintain composure and lead to better decisions. Techniques such as taking a break, staying silent, or acknowledging the other person's points can provide the necessary pause to respond thoughtfully.

Effective Sales Conversations: NLP Techniques from Nikki Rausch

In this episode, Kwame sits down with Nikki Rausch , a sales coach and trainer specializing in teaching strategic sales conversations through the lens of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP). Nikki shares her insights into the importance of building rapport, harnessing the power of questions, and adjusting communication styles to enhance sales performance and relationship-building. Listeners will gain valuable knowledge on how to effectively utilize NLP techniques in their negotiations and sales interactions.

Key Takeaways:

• Building a Rapport Bank Account: Nikki emphasizes the idea of making consistent "deposits" in relationships through positive interactions, ensuring there's goodwill to draw upon when inevitable "withdrawals" (negative interactions) occur.
• Effective Questioning: Asking questions can foster deeper connections and allow others to express their feelings, which can lead to more productive and meaningful negotiations.
• Adaptation for Likability: Slightly adjusting your rate of speech to match others can create a subconscious sense of similarity and likability without compromising your authenticity. This can enhance perceived competence and trustworthiness.

From Conflict to Connection: Natalie Garramone's Approach to Mediation

In this episode, Kwame sits down with Natalie Garramone , owner and principal consultant of ONE EIGHTY, an expert in workplace conflict resolution and mediation based in Richmond, Virginia, with a global reach. Natalie provides insightful perspectives on transforming workplace conflicts into opportunities for connection. They delve into proactive conflict management, the vital role of HR and leadership, and effective communication techniques to de-escalate and resolve disputes.

Key Takeaways:

• Empathy in Conflict Resolution: Natalie emphasizes the importance of viewing adversaries as humans with their own challenges and motivations, fostering a more empathetic and effective approach to conflict resolution.
• Proactive Conflict Management: Organizations should prepare for potential conflicts with structured management philosophies and processes, emphasizing the inclusion of HR and leadership training.
• Effective Listening: Listening and focusing on others’ needs beyond one’s own perspective, akin to a meditative practice, helps uncover underlying issues and facilitates better conflict resolution.

Negotiation Secrets with FBI Veteran Gary Noesner

In this episode, Kwame interviews Gary Noesner , a retired FBI hostage negotiator and former chief of the FBI's Crisis Negotiation Unit. With a 30-year career tackling high-stakes situations, Gary offers a wealth of knowledge on the art of negotiation. Through compelling stories from his tenure, Gary discusses maintaining composure, the power of genuine human connection, and the critical nature of communication skills in both professional and everyday contexts. He emphasizes authenticity, consistent fundamentals, and personal integrity in negotiation practices.

Key Takeaways:

• Limitations in Control: Recognizing the limits of your control during negotiations is vital, as uncontrollable factors can significantly impact outcomes. Focus on maintaining positivity and not burning bridges, considering the possibility of clients returning after unfavorable experiences elsewhere.
• Calmness and Composure: Maintaining composure and staying collected in difficult times is crucial, enabling clearer thinking and better decision-making. This mindset is fundamental in high-stress environments.
• Genuine Engagement: Authenticity, patience, and a genuine interest in others are vital. Building rapport and trust through sincere interactions can be more effective than rigidly following negotiation scripts or gimmicks.

Mediation and Negotiation- Highlight Reel

In this highlight reel episode of Negotiate Anything, Kwame highlights the best episodes on the transformative power of mediation. Expert guests share their unique insights on how mediation skills foster better conflict resolution and positively affect various social settings. The discussion delves into the nuances of mediation, personal growth essential for mediators, and the historical impact of mediation in America.

Key Takeaways:

• Non-Legal Path to Mediation: Alice dispels the common myth that mediators need to be lawyers. She underscores that anyone with proper training and certification can become a mediator, emphasizing the importance of empathy and subtext analysis in conflict resolution.
• Ego and Intention in Mediation: The guest coach stresses the importance of self-awareness for mediators. Effective mediation requires the ability to set aside personal biases and focus on the needs and solutions of the conflicting parties, promoting long-term commitment and ownership of the resolution.
• Historical Impact of Mediators: Mediators have significantly contributed to social justice through pivotal moments in American history. From civil rights protests to contemporary issues, mediators facilitated peaceful negotiations and played crucial roles in legislative progress.

For more expert insights, subscribe to the Negotiate Anything podcast on Spotify and Apple Podcasts .