Exploring social integration in the community and how that impacts loneliness.

As we have already spoken about, often people are lonely but do not know it. So we banished the stigma and explored what it really is as it’s not something that is easily quantified.?

Loneliness is not just sadness because one has no friends or company. Loneliness is a state of mind. It isn’t being alone, as in physically. It’s something you feel. You may feel empty, alone, isolated, unwanted and crave human connections but your state of mind may make it difficult for you to connect.

We have discussed the health implications of being lonely and in this post we’re going to talk about how to improve those symptoms through social integration.?

What are the first steps for social integration??

Knowing your neighbours

Knowing your neighbours may make things easier for you as you should feel safer and more comfortable where you live. If you know your neighbour’s names, or have a relationship with them, this is great! I usually find the general consensus seems to be that most people don’t know their neighbours. The days of popping to your neighbour’s for a cuppa or to borrow a cup of sugar are long gone. This is such a shame as knowing your neighbours not only helps to give a sense of unity and belonging, it also can make you feel safer in your neighbourhood.?

Now, I know getting to know your neighbours may be a huge step for you if you don’t already speak to them, but there are some little things you can start to do to help begin the process. When you pass them in the street, or in the hallway, why not give them a smile or a nod of the head. I’ve been doing a lot to start spreading the happiness virus that is smiling, and by sharing a smile with a stranger, you might just make their day. This can then also make you feel happier inside too. Give it a go next time you pass a neighbour. Over time this could start to lead to conversations and friendship.?

If you’re feeling bold, why not just knock on the door and introduce yourself. This is especially great if you’ve just moved somewhere new, or have someone new moved in close by.?

This can start to help lift your mood, and if you are depressed, as discussed before, a smile can start to help your brain to feel happy. Little steps.?

Social Connections

This sounds simple, but it can be quite a difficult thing to do. Especially if you’re not used to it.?

Technology and social media are a wonderful thing as they bring people together. It’s made the world a smaller place. I know I have friends who I’m yet to meet in real life, and I mean real friendships too. Not just on a superficial level.?

This is a great way to start if you’re feeling shy or don’t know where to go to meet new people. I’m going to use Facebook as an example here as there are a lot of Facebook groups. There are groups for fashion, make up, business, wine, knitting, music, you name it! Search for things you’re interested in and join a few groups. If you’re not feeling up to posting yourself, why not try commenting on other people’s posts, and get to know them that way??

The beauty of this is, you can be comfortable at home, in your pjs with a glass of wine or a cup of tea, whatever tickles your fancy.?

Then, you may just find that you’ll meet those people in real life, and it will be less awkward for you as you’ll already know the person. This helps massively with social anxieties linked to loneliness.

Another great way to help yourself, is to help others. So why not do some

Volunteering in the community??

There are many loneliness charities out there who I know would love to have some volunteers. There are also things like bootfair fundraisers, your children’s school – you could join the PTA, gardening in the local park, helping out at homeless shelters and animal sanctuaries.?

I’m going to use,? Age UK as an example here as I know they have a befriending service. Where you meet an elderly person, how ever often you can, you can even just have phone calls if that suits you better. Once you’ve gone through the application process and are accepted, which I’m sure you will be, the sense of pride you’ll have in yourself will be 10 fold. You’re not only helping someone else, who desperately needs it, you’re helping yourself too. And you’ll make new friends this way.?

This will definitely have health benefits, as you’ll be conversing with someone, learning about them, your brain function will improve and you should feel less stress and you know you’re doing a great thing and will have a support network from the charity behind you too.?

Winner on all sides!?

Now let’s talk about the next things

Hobbies

What are you interested in? Is there anything you’ve always wanted to learn or do but never have??

Your local community centre should have a load of activities on. I know there’s one near where I grew up that does everything from Pilates, trampolining (another health benefit) to silver haired walking clubs, and other activities for learning. Children go to sports clubs and learn to play an instrument, why not do that as an adult too. Take a cooking class or an art class. Not only will you learn new skills, you’ll also meet new people.?

Take a chance and have a look at what’s going on in your local area. You’ll also find your local church has things like this going on too.?

When you have a hobby, that isn’t just going to the pub your health will improve drastically. Especially if your hobby involves exercise. Also, if you’re learning a new skill, you’re improving your brain function too!?

So, what’s the answer??

It’s one thing saying all this, but implementing it is a whole other ball game. I can give you all the ideas in the world, but you need to get out there and do these things.?

But what if you don’t know what you like doing or are too scared to try something new??

Well, if you don’t try, you’ll never know. Sometimes you have to take a risk in order to grow. So I would suggest starting small. Try a few things at home, have a look online, and give it a go that way first, then have a look for an external group.?

You also might find something you want to do but are too scared to and the fear of doing something new is holding you back. In this case I would seek out the teacher (if it’s a class) and speak to them, ask if you can just watch for the first session before you get involved. Tell them that you’re anxious about it, and I’m quite sure they will have had other people feel the same way too and will make you feel comfortable. Most people are nice and want to help!?

Now, something we know: going from being an employee to an entrepreneur, that can be very lonely. What you need to do here is make sure you meet new people when you are starting to feel isolated and feel like you have no one to talk to about your business.?

I know this can feel especially difficult, especially when you’re used to working with others. There are lots of work hub places now, if you have a google for them, you should find there’s one nearby. Try online groups and forums too, for your niche. I personally am in some entrepreneur’s groups and property groups, to talk with others about my problems and get some advice when I need it. What else is great about that, is you’re able to help others, so answer other people where you can, and as we said earlier, you’ll find you make new connections and friendships.?

On the next post we’re going to talk about giving yourself permission to socially integrate how you can start to make moves to do this as this can be the hardest part!