Exploring Relationship Spaces in Coaching from Earth's Perspective

I attended a systemic coaching practice circle a couple of weeks ago. One of the things I love about systemic coaching is that it focuses on ‘Seeing the Whole’, recognising that solutions often lie in the patterns of relationships and that it asks you to “Bring your Whole Self”, valuing your creativity (intuition) and an open mind, heart and will. As I sat in the circle, I had the sense that while I belonged, I didn’t fit. As an autistic person navigating relational dynamics, I saw the hidden expectations and norms within this relational space aligned with existing neurotypical structures at odds with how I naturally engage.

It's something I’ve been sensing more and more into over the last few months. As the brain fog of autistic burnout continues to disperse, I see this more and more clearly especially as I explore what it means not to mask who I am. When I am out in the natural world, I see the relational dynamics at play and feel like I fit. This is in direct contrast to what I experience when I am within a human world – even one where I know I’m accepted in and belong to. This got me thinking:

What can we learn from Earth about relational spaces and how would this impact the way we coach?

Settling into a Relational Space

Chairs set up in a circle around an open fire. A long check-in sharing stories of origin and conversation. These things are taken for granted as a necessary part of creating a relational space. I sat there uncomfortable in the body, moving and shifting to address the tension I felt. The words bubbled over me, too many for me to process. Instead, I watched the butterfly on the window as a way to way to channel focus and avoid the direct eye contact that circles encourage.

Circles are a common tool in relational spaces as they symbolise equality but hidden beneath this is the implication that everyone should participate equally and in a verbal way. Extended social interaction and storytelling can lead to fatigue and sensory overwhelm for neurodivergent people. I know that I don’t need story in the same way as other humans to settle in and build connection. Instead, this reinforces the difference in the relational dynamics leaving me with a choice: to mask and fit it or to sit back and stay silent and find something else to put my focus on.

Right now, I’m leading a group coaching programme for autistic women and non-binary people as part of The Scottish Government Climate Engagement Fund. It’s the first time I’ve coached an all-autistic group. I am watching with joy and amazement at the different dynamics at play in how we communicate: ones that intuitively make more sense to me and create a sense of freedom and full-body regulation. It’s being in this space that also makes the hidden patterns of relational spaces more obvious to me.?

Earth’s Perspective on Relational Spaces

As I continue to explore these relational dynamics, I find myself looking to Earth for guidance. When I am outdoors, surrounded by the natural world, I feel a deep sense of belonging and connection—one that doesn’t rely on verbal interaction, eye contact, or conforming to unspoken norms. Instead, I engage with the quiet rhythms of nature, where everything has a role and place without needing to force connection.

In nature, there’s no pressure to “perform” or participate in a certain way. Trees, rivers, and animals coexist in a harmonious dance of interdependence, each interacting in its own time and way. This fluidity and respect for diverse modes of being offer a stark contrast to human-constructed relational spaces. Yet it is in these spaces that different ways of being emerge and where both neurotypical and neurodivergent can unlearn the rigid human norms that have kept us separate from ourselves, each other and Earth itself.

Earth’s relational spaces are dynamic, adaptive, and inclusive of all forms of life. There’s room for silent observers, active participants, and everything in between. The butterfly I watched during that systemic coaching circle, fluttering freely without the constraints of social expectations, embodied this. Nature creates space for stillness, quiet, and observation, allowing us to belong without needing to fit into predefined moulds.

What if coaching spaces could embrace these Earth-inspired principles?

Instead of circles that unwittingly reinforce the existing norms of our dysfunctional human relationships, we could create environments where people are free to engage in ways that honour their natural rhythms? Instead of check-ins that demand stories and interaction, we allow for moments of quiet reflection, non-verbal communication, or engagement through other sensory experiences and allow a new pattern of human connection and communication to emerge?

Just as my experience coaching an all-autistic group has shown me the freedom that comes from honouring different dynamics, Earth reminds me that relational spaces can be as diverse as the ecosystems we live in. By creating spaces that allow for this diversity, we open the door to deeper, more authentic connections—connections that don’t rely on neurotypical norms but embrace the full range of human (and non-human) engagement.

Invitation for Reflection

The invitation here is to reflect on the relational spaces you create or engage with—whether in coaching, work, or life—what hidden norms or expectations might be limiting authentic connection?

How might you reimagine these spaces to embrace the diversity of rhythms, ways of being, and communication styles that Earth so naturally models for us?

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Earthself’s L1 NatureProcess Coach Training Programme is an ICF accredited training programme that’s designed to help you master the art of coaching with and as nature outdoors, indoors and online in a way that’s neuro inclusive while your investment helps develop a Scottish community food forest.

Get in touch if you like to explore if the programme is right for you…