Exploring the Behavioral Science of Interconnectedness

Why is it that, in a world more connected than ever—through social media, constant communication, and global networks—so many of us feel more disconnected than ever?

It’s not just you. Loneliness, anxiety, and a sense of isolation are on the rise. Since the 1980s, the average number of close friends people report having has dropped by nearly a third, and depression rates have doubled in many Western countries.

Modern life, with its focus on individualism, technology, and competition, often works against the deep connections we crave. But what if we could change that? What if we could reclaim a sense of connection—not just to others, but to ourselves and the world around us?

The answer lies in understanding the science of interconnectedness—or what some call oneness. It’s the idea that we’re not as independent as we might think, and recognizing those connections could be the key to greater happiness, resilience, and purpose. Let’s explore how—and why—it matters.

The Illusion of the Self

Most of us think of ourselves as separate individuals, but science suggests otherwise:

Your body is constantly changing.

Over 90% of the cells in your body aren’t even human—they’re part of your microbiome. Every 7–10 years, most of the cells in your body regenerate completely, meaning you’re physically not the same “you” as a decade ago.

Your breath isn’t yours alone.

Every breath exchanges molecules with the atmosphere. Statistically, you’ve inhaled atoms once exhaled by Cleopatra, Abraham Lincoln, or even the dinosaurs.

Your thoughts are interconnected.

Do you control your thoughts? Likely not as much as you think. Our moods, emotions, and behaviors ripple through social networks. If a friend starts eating healthier, you’re more likely to follow suit. If a coworker is stressed, you may feel it too.

These insights challenge the idea that we are solitary, independent beings. Instead, they reveal how deeply we’re part of a larger system—connected to other people, nature, and even history itself.

Why Connection Feels Good

From an evolutionary perspective, connection was a survival strategy. Early humans relied on cooperation for hunting, gathering, and protection. But connection isn’t just about survival—it’s about thriving.

• When we’re connected, anxiety and depression decrease, while empathy and compassion increase.
• We experience a greater sense of purpose and fulfillment.
• We feel less lonely and more resilient.

Think back to the happiest moments of your life. Chances are, they weren’t solitary. You likely felt connected—whether to people, to nature, or to meaningful work. Conversely, times of unhappiness often come with feelings of isolation or disconnection.

Fortunately, the trend toward disconnection isn’t inevitable. There are concrete steps we can take to rebuild those connections.

Expanding the Circle of Connection

1. Start with yourself.

To connect with others, you first need to connect with yourself. Yet, many of us feel fragmented—torn between our minds and bodies or even different aspects of our personalities.

Integrate your mind and body. Our physical and mental health are deeply intertwined. Did you know your gut contains neurons similar to those in your brain? These “gut feelings” can directly influence your emotions and mental state. Practices like yoga, mindfulness, or even a short daily walk can improve mood, reduce stress, and strengthen the mind-body connection.

Reconcile internal conflicts. Ever feel like you have competing voices in your head? That’s normal. Therapies like Internal Family Systems can help integrate these “parts” of yourself. Or try something as simple as journaling, which has been shown to reduce anxiety, improve mood, and enhance self-understanding.

When you feel more whole and connected internally, it becomes easier to extend that connection outward.

2. Strengthen close relationships.

Your closest relationships have the greatest power to heal—or hurt. Yet, how often are we truly present with loved ones?

Research consistently shows that strong close relationships improve mental health, boost resilience, and even increase longevity. In fact, the Harvard Study of Adult Development found that the quality of our relationships is one of the most significant predictors of happiness and health over a lifetime.

Practice active listening. Instead of planning what to say next, focus fully on the other person. Acknowledge their feelings, ask thoughtful questions, and listen with curiosity. This small shift can transform the quality of your interactions.

Be mindful of bias. Sometimes, we interact with our mental image of a person rather than who they are in the moment. Let go of past grievances and be open to seeing them anew.

Investing in these relationships creates a ripple effect of connection that spreads beyond your inner circle.

3. Broaden your perspective.

What about people you don’t know—or those you disagree with? Building connections here can be harder but just as rewarding.

Humans are naturally wired for in-group and out-group bias. We tend to feel a stronger sense of empathy and loyalty toward people in our “in-group”—those who share our background, values, or beliefs—while often viewing “out-group” members with suspicion or even hostility. This bias served evolutionary purposes, helping small groups survive, but today it can prevent us from building bridges across differences.

Try perspective-taking. Imagine someone with completely opposite political or social views. Picture their life, from childhood to adulthood. What shaped their beliefs? A simple thought experiment like this can transform judgment into curiosity.

Recognize shared humanity. Comedian Pete Holmes has a saying: “If I were you, I’d be you.” In other words, if you had the same upbringing, experiences, and environment as someone else, you’d likely think and act just as they do. Empathy doesn’t require you to agree with someone—it simply means understanding that their beliefs and choices make sense from their perspective. It’s about seeing the person behind the differences.

4. Reconnect with nature.

Finally, expand your sense of connection to include all life. The ecosystem is the foundation of our existence, yet we often feel disconnected from it.

Spend time outdoors. Research shows that even a short walk in nature can lower cortisol levels, reduce anxiety, and enhance well-being. It also fosters awe, reminding us of our small but vital place in a much larger system.

Cultivate sustainability. People with a sense of oneness are more likely to adopt pro-environment behaviors, from reducing waste to supporting climate policies.

The more we see ourselves as part of nature, the more likely we are to care for it—and, by extension, ourselves.

Practical Steps to Build Connection

Big changes often start with small actions. Here are two approaches to make connection a sustainable habit:

1. Pre-commit to connection.

While your motivation is high, take an action now that will make it easier to follow through in the future:

• Join a social group
• Make plans with a friend
• or set recurring reminders to prioritize connection

2. Start small.

Instead of grand resolutions, focus on tiny daily actions:

• Meditate for one minute
• Walk around the block to connect to nature
• Say hello to a stranger or chat with a cashier

These small moments of connection can snowball into profound changes over time.

Closing Thought

Oneness isn’t about erasing individuality or pretending differences don’t exist. It’s about recognizing that beneath those differences, we are deeply connected—to each other, to nature, and to something greater than ourselves.

Reclaiming that sense of oneness won’t solve every problem, but it might be the key to a happier, healthier, and more compassionate world.