Explaining away your accomplishments? Stop and give yourself credit!

When I was in a conversation with a leader a while ago, I was asked to share a peak experience. This moment came easily to me – when I had been a coxswain on my college crew team.? As a coxswain, it was my job to both steer the boat and coach the rowers. I can picture myself – facing my teammates and silently communicating with the rower right in front of me. I had to measure how much strength the crew had left in them, gauging if we could make a move on a boat near us, I called a “power 10” – urging the team to put every ounce of strength into these next 10 strokes – because we were going to pass a boat. With sprays of water in my face and jerky jumps across the river, we did it. “Open Water!” I’d yell the phrase to let them know there was no one ahead of us. With their backs to the front of the boat, they could not see the finish line. They had to put their trust in me.

There was flow -- literally and figuratively. It was hard and it was easy. After I told this anecdote, the leader then asked – how did you get to be a coxswain and what made you good at it? At the time, I modestly said – “I was small” – not adding too much extra weight to a racing boat where every pound counts. “Really?” she said – “it sounds like so much more than that.” She was right. ???

It is so much more. A good coxswain gets her team in sync, gets rowers to push themselves when they don’t know they can give anything more, builds trust in their crew, makes decisions on the water, navigates a good race, and communicates.? And it certainly helps to be a good teammate and have the personality to pump up your crew from the moment you plug in your cox box (it’s a microphone in the boat for you novices).

Weight is probably the smallest, pun intended, piece of the puzzle. Being small may be an advantage. Being positive, confident, trustworthy, and reliable and being able to gauge what’s happening on the water are required traits. These are all things I know to be true, yet it didn’t occur to me to give myself credit.

In my coaching practice, I often hear amazingly talented experienced professionals make diminishing comments about their career, or their abilities. Proven, award winning, published, successful, top of their peer group people say things like, “Well, I was there at the right time,” or “I was lucky my boss had no one else to send to the presentation.”??

Many of us feel it is arrogant or bragging to dwell on accomplishments. Even worse, we often internalize this thought as selfish or ungrateful or something else negative. Quite the opposite is true – our brain needs praise for motivation, acknowledgement of contribution feeds your sense of self-worth. Getting hired or a promotion requires recognition of your success and achievement. Side stepping taking credit, even unintentionally, could literally cost you time and money.

Here are a few tips to give yourself some credit.

Keep track of your accomplishments – You may be surprised to see how much this can provide motivation and positively impact your demeanor. Remind yourself of these achievements. Even better if you see a pattern of complementary strengths. Whatever you are proud of and grateful for, take note. Co-created a new initiative? Great. Managed to quiet your inner self talk and speak confidently at an important meeting? Phenomenal.

Seek compliments – Ask a few trusted advisors, “What am I really good at?”? You might be surprised to learn that others see you – really see you – for the rock star you are. When someone gives you kudos, drop that note into a happiness folder. Open it on a difficult day if needed.

Create your story – Write a statement that captures your differentiating qualities and how you add exponential value. It should be who you are – without inflating your contributions, but also describing the person you are becoming.

I have tagged a few former rowing teammates here – let me know some of your recent accomplishments. I miss you awesome people, thanks for trusting me.

As a career coach, I help people take credit for their accomplishments with authenticity. If you need help telling your story, or know anyone seeking direction and more career happiness, send them my way for a conversation at www.kabcareercoach.com.