Experiencing self versus remembering self in Customer Experience

Introduction

I've spent a lot of time studying how people make decisions within the field of Customer Experience. I've learned that there are two very different selves at work within each of us. One is called the experiencing self and it's everything you can see right now―the chair you're sitting on, the computer screen in front of you, your feelings and thoughts about anything happening at this moment in time. The other self is called the remembering self and it's all about our past experiences as well as how we imagine future ones might be like based on what we remember from past events. This is why remembering something differently than how it really happened doesn't necessarily matter: because we never really know what happened anyway. For CX Design this is crucial to use when it comes to improving Customer Experience.

Daniel Kahneman, who won the Nobel Prize in Economics for his work on behavioral economics, developed the concepts of the remembering self and the experiencing self.

Kahneman developed the concepts of the remembering self and the experiencing self.

The remembering self is a narrative construct which we use to make sense of our lives. It's what we use to evaluate past experiences, compare them with present ones and plan for the future. The remembering self has been shown to be unreliable in some ways – for example, if you have an embarrassing experience at university or work, it's likely that you'll remember this in detail years later even if nobody else does! On the other hand, it can also help us process information more efficiently: when looking back at a happy holiday spent with friends, we can learn from our mistakes so they don't happen again next year!

The experiencing self is the part of you that's living in the moment. When you're focused on what's happening right now, how you're feeling right now and what you're experiencing right now, that's your experiencing self. Some scientists believe this is all we have; that our experiences are what make us who we are.

The remembering self is the part of you that remembers your past. It's often called "the narrative voice," because it helps us tell stories about our lives to others or even just ourselves when no one else is around to listen. The remembering self helps make sense of things by putting them in context with other events in your life, but can also make things seem more dramatic than they really were — especially if they're stories told by people who aren't used to telling them well!

The remembering self views life as a series of memories. For example, your favorite song is one that reminds you of a particular time in your life. You remember a vacation by looking at pictures or through stories you share with others. The same event can have multiple memories associated with it due to its influence on your lives and experiences at various points in time since its occurrence. Your remembering self is constantly reinterpreting your life through this lens of memories and stories.

While psychologists have long studied these two selves separately, they've only been formally described as distinct phenomena within the last decade or so. Suffice it to say, when trying to figure out how to navigate different chapter in your life, it will be helpful to consider the impact on both selves simultaneously.

For example: If you're experiencing a painful breakup right now and can't seem to get over it, try thinking about what your remembering self might tell you about the relationship in question. Was there something lacking? How did you feel at first? Maybe there are some things that weren't working from the beginning that could be addressed today (or maybe not — sometimes we choose our partners for all sorts of reasons).

On a larger scale: Perhaps you're looking towards retirement and wondering if now is really the right time for such an important decision. In this case, thinking through what your remembering self would say can help guide any decisions—after all, that person has lived through plenty of ups and downs throughout their career.

So reflecting on your current experiences in terms of the story they will portray later on can help you make better decisions today.

Reflecting on your current experiences in terms of the story they will portray later on can help you make better decisions today. If you're reflecting on a time during which you were still new at a job and needed some guidance, consider how different it would be if you could only remember that experience from the past rather than being able to re-live it.

You might wish that your current self didn't need as much help as her past self. But by thinking about what was going on at the time, now you can take steps towards getting where now-you wants to go.

In his book, Thinking, Fast and Slow, Daniel Kahneman, about the psychology of judgment and decision-making, introduces the concepts of experiencing self and remembering self.

The experiencing self is our current experience. It's what we are thinking about or feeling at any given moment in time - whether it's a physical sensation like hunger or an emotional state like anxiety or happiness.

The remembering self is that part of us that can look back on all those experiences from the past and reflect on them with hindsight (or foresight).

The remembering self is the stories we tell ourselves about what happened to us.

The remembering self is an internal representation of our past—a narrative. It’s how we remember ourselves in the world and how we make sense of our lives.

The remembering self also has a social function: it helps us communicate with other people about who we are, as well as how others see us and their responses to us. The remembering self may be true or false, but most importantly, it’s useful for getting by in the world (and sometimes harmful).

We often think that these stories are like a photograph, capturing an image that's complete and accurate—a moment in time frozen forever on film or pixels. But memories aren't like photographs because they change over time depending on what meanings you give them at different points in your life; they're more like movies than still images because they can be re-edited again and again until you die (or become someone else).

Because our memory is selective--we either forget certain things or make up stories to fill in the gaps--our history isn't an accurate reflection of our experiences.

Our memory is a selective process, not a perfect record. We forget some things and make up others to fill in the gaps. The result is that our history isn't an accurate reflection of our experiences--it's more like a story we tell ourselves about who we are and what happened to us, rather than an objective account of what happened.

Experiences come first; then comes your interpretation of those experiences and how you think about them afterward. If you look at a painting hanging on your wall, for example, it won't trigger any memories unless you have seen it before or know what it depicts (e.g., “This looks like the landscape outside my window."). If someone were to ask you how many people are in this picture and how they're dressed, then your mind would need to work harder than usual to create something new out of nothing: "There's one guy wearing blue jeans but no shirt with tattoos covering his arms..."

To understand how happiness works it's essential to know that our lives are mostly made up of experiences that aren’t remembered and the ones we remember aren’t necessarily representative of what actually happened

That means, if you are experiencing something happy right now and then you remember it later on, you might feel differently than you did while experiencing it. This can be due to many factors but the main one is that what we experience in life is not as significant as what we remember.

Conclusion

The remembering self tells us stories about who we are, what happened in our lives and how everything fits together. It's an essential part of human psychology because it gives us a sense of purpose by connecting us with our pasts--and even future possibilities through memories of events yet to come. The experiencing self is more immediate; it can also be called "in the moment."