Expectations

I. Introduction – The Expectation Trap

Throughout my career, I have attended and observed countless meetings, each a microcosm of human interaction, ambition, and, all too often, frustration. One particular encounter remains vivid in my memory.

I had just concluded a meeting with a well-known, very high-ranking public official, joined by partners from the private sector. As we stepped out, he turned to me, his face taut with frustration, and exclaimed:

“How many times must I explain myself? Why do they not understand? Why do they not act?”

His exasperation was unmistakable. He had held an unspoken expectation, that his words would be absorbed, his directives followed, his vision realized. When reality failed to meet his anticipation, irritation consumed him. In time, he was replaced.

A similar theme echoes within my own team. I listen as they voice their grievances, frustration with colleagues, disappointment in other departments, irritation at how tasks are handled or conversations unfold. These emotions, unchecked, corrode their inner state, disrupt their focus, and diminish their productivity.

And then, as I drive home, I witness yet another manifestation of the same affliction, road rage.

A driver in the fast lane follows another too closely, tailgating with growing impatience. The car ahead travels at the legal limit, yet the driver behind, unrelenting, flashes his headlights and blares his horn, as though his sheer insistence should bend the world to his will.

Three disparate scenarios. Yet, they all stem from the same fundamental cause.

Each of these individuals, the public official, the frustrated employee, the enraged driver, held an expectation, an unspoken demand upon the world. They believed others should act a certain way, respond in a certain manner, adhere to an unvoiced script. Yet, when those around them, often unaware of these expectations, failed to comply, irritation and distress followed.

Thus, I arrived at a simple yet profound initial realization:

If you do not hold attachment to expectations, you will not be disappointed.

Allow me to explore this with you dear reader. This is not a call to abandon all ambition, nor an invitation to indifference. Rather, it is a plea to reconsider the nature of expectation itself, to understand where it serves us, where it hinders us, and how it may be wielded as a tool rather than a burden.

For true mastery of expectations lies not in their rejection but in their deliberate direction.

II. The Internal Pitfall – Why Expectations of Others Cause Suffering

If one were to trace the source of much human frustration, one would find it rooted not in the actions of others, nor in the unfolding of events, but in the silent, invisible expectations we impose upon them.

From childhood, we are conditioned to believe that the world operates by a set of unspoken rules, that effort should be rewarded, that kindness should be reciprocated, that those around us should act with a certain degree of reason, awareness, and regard. And yet, reality moves indifferent to these assumptions. The world does not bend to our silent demands, nor do people exist as actors in a play scripted by our private expectations.

And so, when life unfolds in ways that do not conform to our internal blueprints, we suffer.

How often have we felt slighted when a friend did not respond as warmly as we had hoped? Or disappointed when a colleague failed to appreciate our contributions? How many moments of irritation stem not from what has been done to us, but from what we believed should have been done?

Expectation is not the problem, attachment to it is.

Internal expectations of oneself are vital for discipline, ambition, and self-mastery. Without them, one drifts aimlessly, never striving for growth. But when one becomes attached to how the external world must respond—how others must behave, how outcomes must unfold, suffering follows.

People are not obligated to meet our expectations. The world does not conform to our preferred script. And when one resists this truth, frustration sets in.

A mind troubled by unmet expectations is like a pond disturbed by a careless stone. The ripples expand outward, disturbing the clarity of the water, distorting the reflection it once held. The more one clings to external validation or specific outcomes, the more power is relinquished over one’s inner state. One becomes a hostage to the unpredictable, allowing the actions of others or the randomness of life to dictate emotions, to govern peace.

Thus, the solution is not to abandon expectation altogether, it is to cultivate detachment.

To set an expectation is to establish a vision. To detach from the outcome is to ensure that one's peace remains unshaken.

If kindness is given, let it be given freely, without silent hope for its return. If respect is shown, let it be out of principle, not as a transaction. If we act, let it be because it aligns with who we are, not because we anticipate a specific response from others.

For in doing so, one moves from a state of fragile dependence to one of quiet, unshakable freedom.

III. The External Strategy – Why Expectations of Others Shape Reality

If one is to abandon expectations of others internally, allowing the mind to remain undisturbed by the unpredictable nature of human behavior, does that mean expectations hold no value at all? Far from it. While internal expectations are a source of suffering, external expectations, when wielded correctly, become a force of influence, shaping not only how others treat us but also the reality in which we operate.

The world does not always respond to demands, but it often bends to expectations.

Throughout history, those who have commanded respect, admiration, and deference have often done so not because they asked for it, but because they carried themselves as though it were inevitable. When a leader walks into a room and expects to be heard, they are heard. When a person expects to be treated with dignity, they are treated with dignity. When an individual projects an aura of certainty, the world unconsciously adjusts itself to accommodate that certainty.

Magic one may ask or wishful thinking perhaps. It is a fundamental principle of human psychology, people respond to the energy, confidence, and expectations that we radiate.

The Social Mirror Effect – When You Expect to Be Treated Like Royalty, You Are

Human interactions are, in many ways, mirrors. We take social cues from those around us, calibrating our behavior based on the signals we receive. A person who expects to be dismissed often carries themselves in a way that invites dismissal—a hesitant tone, a weak posture, an apologetic presence. Conversely, one who expects to be received with importance exudes an unspoken authority that compels others to respond in kind.

This idea is articulated with striking clarity in Robert Greene’s The 48 Laws of Power, particularly in Law 34: “Be Royal in Your Own Fashion – Act Like a King to Be Treated Like One” Greene asserts that if one exudes confidence and self-worth, moving through the world with a quiet, unquestionable authority, others will subconsciously accept this reality and treat them accordingly. A person’s presence and self-perception dictate their social standing far more than words alone.

Consider the commanding presence of great leaders. Their words alone do not command attention; rather, it is the unshakable expectation they carry within themselves that makes others listen. They expect their voice to carry weight, and so it does. This is the Social Mirror Effect, people subconsciously conform to the expectations placed upon them.

Thus, expectations should not be abandoned entirely. Instead, they must be directed outward, not as emotional dependencies, but as silent forces that shape reality.

The Pygmalion Effect – How Expectations Create High Performance

The power of expectation extends beyond social influence—it alters outcomes. Studies in psychology have long demonstrated that people rise or fall to the level of expectation set for them. This phenomenon, known as the Pygmalion Effect, reveals that when individuals are expected to perform well, they are more likely to do so.

In a landmark experiment by psychologists Robert Rosenthal and Lenore Jacobson, students in a classroom were randomly designated as “high potential” by their teachers. Unbeknownst to the teachers, these students were no different from their peers. Yet, by the end of the study, the students who were expected to excel actually did—outperforming their classmates in academic progress. The only difference was the expectation placed upon them.

This principle applies universally. People, knowingly or unknowingly, absorb the expectations projected onto them. A manager who expects excellence from their team, without resorting to excessive demands, creates an environment where excellence becomes the norm. A mentor who sees potential in a student often ignites a fire in them that they themselves had not yet discovered. A person who expects to be valued and respected commands that value and respect.

The Pygmalion Effect thus can not be considered coercion, it is the quiet unspoken force of belief.

See more on this topic in my other article: The Power of High Expectations: The Pygmalion Effect Explained by Omar M. Almahmoud

Expectation as a Silent Social Contract

Externally imposed expectations act as invisible agreements between individuals and society. People who set clear, unwavering expectations, whether in personal relationships, professional environments, or daily interactions, find that the world subtly adjusts to meet them.

A person who expects reliability from those around them tends to receive it—not because they demand it, but because their expectation shapes the standard. A speaker who steps onto a stage expecting to be listened to commands attention, while another, uncertain of their presence, invites disregard. A person who expects respect is often respected.

This is not to say that the world will always meet our expectations, nor that everyone will conform to them. But in the aggregate, external expectations influence the way others behave far more than demands or requests ever could.

The difference, then, between expectation and entitlement, is simple:

• Entitlement demands without merit.
• Expectation projects without force.

One repels, the other attracts.

Mastering the Art of External Expectation

To wield expectation externally is to carry oneself with the quiet certainty that the world will adjust to meet one’s presence. This is not arrogance, nor blind optimism. It is simply the understanding that human beings are wired to respond to the energy and expectations projected upon them.

Thus, the path forward is not to release all expectations, but to shift them from fragile internal burdens to powerful external instruments.

For while the inwardly expectant suffer, those who master the art of external expectation move through the world with an ease that few understand, but many recognize.

IV. How Expectations Manifest Reality – The Science, Faith, and Psychology of Influence

The world responds to those who move with conviction. Wishes and idle desires do not shape reality, but deeply held expectations do. Beneath the surface of human behavior, psychology, and faith lies a profound truth: the mind, once convinced of an outcome, adjusts thought, action, and perception to bring it into being.

The Subconscious Mind as the Architect of Destiny

Expectation directs perception, and perception guides action. The subconscious mind does not passively observe the world; it filters reality according to the beliefs it holds. A person who anticipates rejection alters their tone, posture, and presence in ways that create distance, while one who embraces success radiates the certainty that draws opportunities toward them.

The mind shapes interactions and conditions outcomes long before words are spoken. Confidence, expectation, and self-perception govern how one is received, making expectation the silent force behind every achievement.

The Self-Fulfilling Prophecy – Expectations Shape Behavior

The self-fulfilling prophecy reveals that people rise or fall to the level of expectation placed upon them. A student who is recognized as exceptional performs with greater confidence, and an individual who carries themselves as charismatic naturally attracts warmth and admiration. Thought influences behavior, and behavior confirms belief.

Expectations set the course for action. A person who believes in their ability to succeed takes the necessary steps toward success, while another who envisions failure hesitates, withdraws, or undermines their own progress. The mind creates alignment between belief and reality, ensuring that the expectations we hold define the future we experience.

The Law of Assumption – Expectation as Reality’s Blueprint

Neville Goddard’s Law of Assumption describes how the mind brings about what it assumes to be true. Deeply internalized certainty leads to action and adaptation that align with the desired outcome. The individual who assumes prosperity walks, speaks, and engages with the world in ways that attract it, just as one who assumes struggle reinforces it through hesitation and doubt.

This principle extends beyond secular thought and into faith itself. The verse affirms:

“Call unto Me, and I shall answer you.” (40:60)

The verse is an invitation to have expectations, is reveals the relationship between asking and receiving. Certainty and expectations in a divine response turns a request into a reality that has already begun unfolding.

From a practical perspective firstly one is to ask the almighty and then act accordingly. Allow me to elaborate, I advise a friend seeking a new career, he should do more than just apply for jobs, that he should prepare for the role before it arrives, by making a suit for his first day at work and carrying himself as though his new position has already secured even before sending the first email. Another friend who dreams of owning his dream car, I instruct him to clear a space in his garage, visualizing its arrival with quiet assurance of its arrival one day. Another friend who aspires to run a marathon I advise him to acquire and layout a pair of new running shoes and training gear for the day he finally runs, as his first step and not the last before anything, stepping into the mindset of an athlete before the race or any training has begun.

Asking and faith alongside with physical preparation of receiving expedites the future into a path already set in motion.

At times, expectation also manifests in the smallest details. Before a short flight, my caring wife packed my travel bag with essentials, including some Panadol. She placed it in the front pocket and said, "Just in case you need it." I paused for a moment and asked her to remove it.

I explained, "I am traveling in full health, and I will return in full health. To pack for sickness while I am well is to create an expectation for it as well as being extremely rude to the one who gave me my health and told me to ask him to preserve it".

This is more than just optimism it is a reflection of my belief that preparation signals expectation. Just as readiness for success welcomes success, readiness for misfortune makes space for it. A person’s faith in their health, well-being, or prosperity aligns their thoughts and surroundings to mirror that belief.

Mastering the Mechanism of Expectation

History is filled with individuals whose confidence shaped their destiny. Leaders commanded respect by the sheer force of their presence, artists transformed culture through their creative vision, and pioneers carved new paths by moving with the certainty that their success was inevitable.

The world responds to those who carry themselves with conviction. Opportunities open to those who approach them as if they were already theirs. The individual who advances with unwavering expectation sees the world conform to that belief.

Expectation creates a blueprint for the future. The subconscious mind follows the assumptions it holds, directing actions toward their fulfillment. If one instills certainty, one aligns their internal world with the reality they seek.

Rather than merely wishing, one must move as if what they desire has already taken shape. This certainty organizes thought, sharpens focus, and aligns opportunities, making expectation the quiet architect of all that is to come.

The Amazon “Working Backwards” Method – Designing Reality with Expectation

Expectation is not confined to personal belief alone, it is a force that has been strategically harnessed by some of the most successful organizations in the world. Amazon’s “Working Backwards” method is a striking example of how expectation-setting can be applied in a corporate or professional context.

When Amazon decides to launch a new product or service, the team does not start with brainstorming technical details or market research. Instead, they begin with the end in mind—by gathering in a meeting room writing a press release dated in the future, announcing the successful launch of the product as if it has already happened.

This method forces them to articulate the concept with absolute clarity:

• The product or service is described in its final form, detailing all of its features and benefits as though it already exists.
• The names of key individuals and teams are included, preemptively determining the right people to build it.
• The future launch date acts as a deadline, turning expectation into a commitment.

The impact of this approach is profound. Writing demands precision, each word in the press release optimizes meaning, stripping away ambiguity. Naming individuals ensures that responsibility is defined before work even begins. The deadline creates urgency, transforming expectation into action.

This is the strategic application of expectation as a reality-shaping force. When describing the outcome before a single step has been taken, Amazon aligns its teams, resources, and strategy toward the fulfillment of that vision.

This method mirrors The Law of Assumption in a business context. Just as an individual who expects success prepares for it in advance, Amazon sets corporate expectations that turn abstract ideas into concrete reality. The process transforms “what could be” into “what will be.”

And this is merely one example. Across industries, the most successful organizations and leaders operate from this same principle. They do not hope for an outcome—they define it, articulate it, and move as if it is already set in motion.

Expectation is a personal philosophy. It is a practical mechanism for shaping reality—whether in business, faith, or personal ambition.

Recommended reading: Working Backwards: Insights, Stories, and Secrets from Inside Amazon

The Placebo Effect – When Expectation Alters Physical Reality

If expectation can influence thought and behavior, can it also shape physical reality? The answer is an undeniable yes, a fact proven by one of the most well-documented phenomena in medical science: the Placebo Effect.

The Placebo Effect occurs when a patient experiences real physiological improvement despite receiving a treatment that has no active medicinal ingredient. The only thing at work is their expectation of healing.

Numerous clinical trials have demonstrated that patients given sugar pills, saline injections, or sham surgeries often show measurable recovery as long as they believe they are receiving an actual treatment. Their symptoms improve, pain diminishes, and recovery accelerates purely because the mind expects it to.

This effect is so powerful that medical research must control for it in drug trials—ensuring that any new medication proves more effective than expectation alone.

The implications of the Placebo Effect extend beyond medicine. It reveals a fundamental truth:

• The body follows the mind’s expectations.
• Healing, performance, and endurance can be influenced by belief alone.
• The mind’s ability to manifest outcomes is not theoretical—it is biological and measurable.

Expectation as a Healing Mechanism

The Placebo Effect is a direct demonstration of how expectation can create tangible change in one’s well-being. A person who expects health and vitality unconsciously engages in behaviors that promote it—better posture, deeper breathing, a relaxed nervous system, and even improved immune function. Conversely, those who expect to fall ill often do, as the body aligns itself with the subconscious script it has been given.

This principle aligns with what faith traditions have long emphasized—that belief and healing are deeply connected. In many cultures, healing is not just about medical intervention but about faith, mindset, and the internal conviction that recovery is inevitable.

Much like the Law of Assumption and the Self-Fulfilling Prophecy, the Placebo Effect underscores that expectation is not passive but rather an active force that shapes both mind and body.

V. The Balancing Act – Mastering Internal vs. External Expectations

Expectation is both a source of power and a source of suffering. When misdirected, it breeds frustration; when applied with mastery, it becomes an instrument of transformation. To wield expectation effectively, one must understand where to place it and how to hold it, setting clear expectations while remaining detached from the outcome.

This distinction is the key to achieving both inner tranquility and outward influence.

Expectation Without Attachment – The Key to Strength

Every person exists in one of two states, a state of strength or a state of weakness.

In strength, one sets expectations boldly, both inwardly and outwardly, unshaken by whether events unfold as anticipated. They continue moving forward with certainty, knowing that what is intended will ultimately come to pass.

In weakness, one becomes consumed by disappointment, questioning why things did not turn out as expected. Instead of advancing, they retreat into frustration, allowing unmet expectations to drain their energy and disrupt their focus.

The true pitfall is not in setting expectations, but in becoming emotionally attached to their fulfillment. The moment one becomes distressed by an unmet expectation, they enter a state of weakness—losing sight of their vision, distracted by turmoil rather than moving forward with clarity.

Detachment does not mean lowering one’s expectations. It means holding them with unwavering belief, while remaining unaffected by temporary setbacks.

Setting Internal Expectations – The Law of Assumption in Action

Expectation as much as it is external it must also be cultivated within as well. One must expect of oneself as much as one expects from the world. We mentioned Neville Goddard’s Law of Assumption explains that when one truly assumes an outcome, they begin to act, think, and move in alignment with its realization. The mind does not question what is already believed to be true, it simply aligns actions toward fulfilling that belief. We also mentioned earlier the Quran reinforces this principle: “Call unto Me, and I shall answer you.” Faith is not merely in the asking, it is in the absolute belief that the answer is already set in motion. Those who truly expect to receive prepare for the arrival of their request long before it manifests.

Internal expectations prime the mind to manifest reality, but detachment ensures that setbacks do not derail progress. If a goal is not realized in a given moment, one remains unshaken, continuing toward their vision without internal distress.

Setting External Expectations – The Art of Influence

While detachment protects inner peace, external expectations shape reality. The world responds to certainty, to conviction, to those who act as though the reality they envision is already taking shape.

A leader who expects excellence from their team fosters an environment where high performance becomes the standard. A speaker who steps onto the stage expecting to be heard commands the attention of the room. A person who moves through life expecting respect and success finds that others subconsciously align with those expectations.

This is an unspoken force that influences how others respond. People instinctively mirror confidence, authority, and belief. They recognize, often unconsciously, the weight of an individual’s expectation, and they respond accordingly.

This is why external expectations must be held boldly but never emotionally.

• Internally set high expectations → Align the mind with certainty.
• Externally impose expectations → Influence the world to respond in kind.
• Detach from outcome → Remain unshaken regardless of results.

This is the delicate balance that separates those who struggle from those who move effortlessly through life.

The Asymmetric Advantage – Strength Through Expectation Without Disturbance

To expect nothing from others eliminates suffering; to expect everything from the world draws success closer. This asymmetry, peace within, power without, is the mindset of the most resilient, influential, and effective individuals.

They remain unshaken by outcomes because their well-being is not contingent on external events. They continue expecting success despite setbacks because their vision remains unaltered by temporary results. They maintain high standards, not because they demand validation, but because they believe in their ability to create the world they envision.

This balance allows them to move with clarity, unaffected by turbulence, yet fully engaged in the process of shaping their destiny.

Mastering the Balance of Expectation

Mastering expectation does not mean abandoning it. It means setting it boldly, internally and externally, without being disturbed by its fulfillment.

• Expectation directs energy. It aligns thoughts, actions, and preparation toward a defined outcome.
• Detachment ensures resilience. It prevents distraction, emotional turbulence, and hesitation.
• The two together create effortless movement. A person remains certain yet unshaken, fully engaged in shaping reality but untouched by its temporary resistance.

When refining this balance, one steps into a life of quiet strength, free from unnecessary suffering, yet full of influence over one’s own destiny.

Key Takeaways on Expectations

The mastery of expectation is not about lowering standards but about knowing where to place them and how to hold them. To expect is to direct energy, but detachment is the key to freedom and success.

1. Expectation is not the problem; attachment is. Set expectations but remain detached from specific outcomes to avoid frustration.
2. Expectations of others lead to suffering. People act based on their own realities, not unspoken assumptions. Let go of internal demands to maintain peace.
3. Externally projected expectations shape reality. Confidence and certainty influence how others respond to you.
4. The Social Mirror Effect: You are treated as you expect to be. Project authority, and others will recognize it.
5. The Pygmalion Effect: People rise (or fall) to the level of expectation placed upon them. High expectations create excellence.
6. Faith and psychology reinforce expectation’s power. The mind and reality align with deeply held beliefs.
7. Priming accelerates manifestation. Prepare as if success is certain, act before results appear.
8. Amazon’s "Working Backwards" method: Define an outcome first, then work toward it.
9. The Placebo Effect proves mind-body influence. The body responds to expectation—belief can drive healing and performance.
10. Balance internal and external expectations. Expect much, but remain unshaken by setbacks.
11. Master expectation, not attachment. Expect boldly, act with certainty, but remain emotionally resilient.
12. The Asymmetric Advantage:

• Expect nothing from others → Avoid disappointment.
• Expect everything from the world → Influence reality.

I expect greatness from myself, from life but I refuse to be shackled by how or when it arrives. Attachment is a trap that breeds frustration and weakens resolve. Instead one must move with certainty knowing that the world yields to those who demand from it without begging, who walk with purpose but remain unshaken by the setbacks.

Until next time, live a life of Great Expectations ...

Omar

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