Expectation Is A Troll.

Hi! My name is Parissa. This is "Modern Badass: A Field Guide", where Modern Badasses can feel seen, understood and valued. And, it's also a place for others to crack the code on the Modern Badasses in their lives (and maybe learn some badassery themselves). Want this in your inbox 2x/month? Hit the “subscribe” button above!

More specifically, having expectations is one of many ways the scarcity troll wreaks havoc with your peace of mind.

Expectations are complex. I used to consider only the expectations we have of others. They are typically never expressed or they are poorly expressed. Regardless of either, we're often in conflict and always disappointed because of these expectations.

Recently, I've learned another type of expectation: the kind we believe others have of us. We behave in ways based on unfounded assumptions, contorting ourselves because we believe others will be pleased by these contortions.

We're often in conflict and disappointed because we don't believe others appreciate the contortions made on their behalf. We chase after the thank you for the efforts others have never asked.

So why are expectations a way that scarcity mindsets can be insidiously distracting? Scarcity mindsets feed on the idea that something is lacking or missing. So, these mindsets encourage expectation because disappointment and conflict live on the other side of having an expectation.

In truth, clarity (like sunlight) is the best disinfectant and feeds an abundance mindset. Abundance mindsets encourage us to ask for clarity and create clarity in dialogue with others.

Seek abundance and agreement instead.

We've covered expectations so let's get into agreements. We all know what agreements are as we've signed plenty of them (lease, mortgage, car loan, etc.). The agreement states how each party is to perform and offers remedies when one or both parties don't perform.

Great agreements are:

• almost like paint-by-numbers projects for adults;
• filled with compliance incentives to perform (or overperform) because each party wants to be rewarded;
• make non-compliance distasteful and more trouble than it's worth; and
• the clear, physical manifestation of a shared understanding and vocabulary.

In other words, great agreements have clarity of objective at the heart of each one. Great agreements acknowledge that each party, at the very least, deserves the gift of clarity in the spirit of building towards abundance.

No one has to do more than in the agreement (unless they choose). And if they don't live up to an agreement, the other party can make a stand for their own best interests.

Why live in the murky world of expectations when you can choose agreements instead?

Successful Modern Badasses seek to make agreements.

One of my favorite ways to unpack the difference between expectations and agreements is this recording by Steve Chandler. I share this recording with ALL of my Modern Badass clients.

Which leads me to wonder: are you (or someone you lead) a Badass? Find out by taking the quiz. You'll get clear (SWIDT) and instant insights that you can apply immediately. Discover the Modern Badass traits you possess and crack the code to highlight your brilliance!

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Creating Clarity,

Parissa

P.S. I'd love to work with you regardless if you are a Badass or lead one. Book time to talk about any of these options that may intrigue you.

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