“Expectation is a pre-meditated resentment.”
Maryann (Moe) Carrick
CEO of Moementum, Inc. || Helping leaders, business owners, and entrepreneurs tackle their stickiest challenges: culture, people leadership, and team dynamics.
The following is a preview of what I’m pondering for my free weekly Show Up newsletter. Each edition shares an insight, tool or story that will help you be a force for making work good, written by me, Moe Carrick -an internationally respected pioneer in the study and practice of workplace culture. Subscribe to get the full impact delivered straight to your inbox at the end of every week.
“Expectation is a pre-meditated resentment.”
My eldest son, Ian Carrick, a singer-songwriter, used this line in a recent song he shared.
Whoa.
In the world of work, I see resentments crop up in client systems in the hearts and minds of employees and leaders alike every day. For example…
Leader: “I thought you were going to solve this problem this way, but you did it differently and now I’m annoyed.”
Employee: “I wanted you to let me know what is working well, but all I get is critical feedback.”
Leader: “I am trying to take care of things so my employees don’t get overwhelmed. Now I am overwhelmed.”
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Employee: “I wish I knew exactly what you wanted.”
The stories and expectations we make up contribute to the stress we carry in the form of disappointment and resentment every day. It can feel heavy, and often adds up to burnout, conflict, disengagement and leaving a job.
So what I am pondering this week is how everyone at work can reduce the costs of heavy resentment but really clarifying and aligning expectations.
This kind of work goes way beyond the shallow “we need more communication” panacea statements. Clarifying expectations is, in reality, a lot of work and meaning making. In order to do it well we have to think forward about what we really want and need and learn how to meaningfully describe both to other people. We also have to become far more capable of revealing to others the vulnerable feelings associated with possible failure, misalignment, or imperfection.
I plan to offer my top people-centered workplace habits for clarifying expectations and reduce the toll of resentment.
Meanwhile, I want to know what expectations you have seen play out as resentments at work over the course of your career?
Please share your story in the comments!
Career Ownership Coach at The Entrepreneur's Source | Coaching Clients to Success | Certified Hello Seven Coach | Women's Health NP (WHNP-BC)
9 个月Such a great topic. At my last full-time gig, I was hired as a leader/manager to improve systems, lead employees to meet better patient outcomes and improve operations. Then an interesting thing happened, as I started to put systems, training, etc in place, my boss all of a sudden wasn't happy with my work, but she never told me this until she decided to terminate me because in her words "this isn't working out". When I asked what "wasn't working out" of course she couldn't articulate the issue because frankly there wasn't an issue with my work. The issue was that my work highlighted how many things were not being done under her leadership. Suddenly under my leadership, things were getting done. Things that she had 8 years to accomplish, I accomplished in mere months. I was getting results that she never thought possible. Getting let go from that job was the ultimate push to start my own business. Employees can't meet expectations when leaders do not give clear direction and communication about what's needed and expected. This does not mean micromanagement either it means that communication and outcomes were clearly discussed and understood by all parties.