Exist vs. Belong: Why Simply Being Isn't Enough and What It Means to Truly Belong

Let’s keep it real: existing is the bare minimum. You wake up, you're alive, you're breathing—congrats, you exist. But if that’s all you're doing, it can feel like the world is moving around you while you’re stuck watching it from the sidelines. Existing without belonging is like getting invited to the party but standing awkwardly by the punch bowl, pretending to enjoy the music no one else is dancing to. Sure, you’re there, but do you really feel part of the vibe? Probably not.

Exist: The State of Just Being

In its simplest form, exist means you occupy space. It’s the basic "I am" of life, nothing more, nothing less. Philosophers have long debated the essence of existence. Think Descartes’ famous line,

It captures the foundation of being—you are because you exist.

But let’s be honest. No one thrives off just being. Simply existing is survival mode, and when you're in that space, you're disconnected from deeper meaning, purpose, or—here it comes—belonging. Existing alone can feel like floating through life without any anchor. You’re there, but no one’s necessarily acknowledging that presence in a way that says, “Hey, you’re part of us.”

Belong: The Need for Connection

Now, belonging? That’s a whole other level. It’s not about just being there; it’s about feeling like you fit. When you belong, you’ve moved beyond mere survival into a sense of connection, inclusion, and community. Belonging says, “You’re not just here, you matter here.” It’s walking into that same party, and instead of hiding by the punch, your friends drag you onto the dance floor because the vibe isn’t complete without you.

The psychology of belonging has been extensively studied. Researchers like Abraham Maslow placed belongingness smack in the middle of his Hierarchy of Needs—right after physical needs and safety. Why? Because after we’ve taken care of our basic survival, our next big craving is human connection. We long to feel like we belong to a group, community, or purpose. Maslow argued that people’s mental and emotional well-being thrives when they feel a sense of belonging, whereas isolation (aka mere existence) can breed loneliness, anxiety, and depression.

Feeling vs. Fact: Can Belonging Be Measured?

Here’s where it gets tricky: is belonging just a feeling or can we actually measure it? The answer is—both.

Belonging feels like that warm, fuzzy sensation of being accepted for who you are. It’s the sense that someone has your back, whether it’s in your personal life, at work, or even online in those endless group chats. But, let’s get scientific: belonging can also be quantified. Companies and researchers regularly try to pin down this elusive concept through surveys and analytics. You know those questions: "Do you feel valued at work on a scale of 1 to 10?" or "Would you recommend this company to others?"

Metrics like employee engagement scores, social network analyses, and retention rates can give us hard data on whether people feel like they belong. High engagement? You’re probably doing something right. High turnover? People might feel like they’re just existing and not belonging.

Exist vs. Belong: Two Sides of the Same Coin?

Here’s where we land at the philosophical part. In some ways, exist and belong are like two sides of the same existential coin. You exist whether you like it or not—just ask Jean-Paul Sartre. His existentialist philosophy says that existence precedes essence, meaning we’re thrown into this world with no inherent purpose, and it’s on us to create meaning and—yep—find belonging.

On the emotional level, though, existence without belonging feels almost like the opposite of connection. It’s survival mode, which can leave us feeling isolated, even though we’re physically present. Belonging, by contrast, is where you find meaning, relationships, and acceptance. It’s the bridge between just being there and being seen.

In a nutshell: Existing is easy—anyone can do it. But belonging? That takes effort, vulnerability, and connection.

The Science of Belonging: Why It’s So Critical

Let’s back this up with some science. Studies show that feeling a sense of belonging is linked to better mental health, greater job satisfaction, and even physical health benefits . In fact, a study by the University of Queensland found that people who feel they belong to multiple social groups live longer, healthier lives. On the flip side, people who lack that sense of connection often suffer from loneliness, which has been linked to everything from depression to heart disease.

Even at work, belonging is a huge deal. Gallup’s research has repeatedly shown that employees who feel they belong are more engaged, productive, and loyal . Companies that cultivate a culture of belonging (and not just of existing bodies in cubicles) see stronger team collaboration, creativity, and retention. Makes sense, right? When you feel like you belong at work, you're more likely to put in the effort, share ideas, and help the team win.

The Real Talk

We all exist. That’s a given. But existence alone won’t cut it for most of us. We’re wired for belonging. It’s why we’re constantly seeking out communities, friendships, and relationships that affirm we’re not just bodies taking up space but valued members of something greater.

So, if you’re finding yourself stuck in exist mode—whether at work, in friendships, or life—take a step back and ask: What’s missing? Chances are, it’s not just being in a place that’ll fix things. You need to find where you belong—where you matter. Where your existence isn’t just tolerated but celebrated.

And if you’re the one welcoming others into a space, ask yourself: Are they just existing here, or do they feel like they truly belong? Because the difference between the two isn’t just semantics—it’s the key to thriving.

TL;DR: Don't Just Exist—Find Your Belonging.

Let’s get real. Exist is the foundation; belong is the mansion built on top of it. If you’re feeling isolated, it’s time to stop settling for just being and start seeking out places, people, and communities where you truly belong. And if you're leading a group or team, make sure you’re creating a culture that turns existence into belonging—because that’s where the magic happens.