Exhaustion and Burnout: Why You're Struggling to Create Your Dream Life

Hello everyone and welcome to this week’s newsletter!

As a coach, I meet a variety of people. People who are ready to figure out what they want and make it happen. People who already know what they want but don’t know how to get it. People who know what they want and how to get it but are holding themselves back in some way. However, in most cases, they are ready to start creating change and setting goals.

Then there are the people who come to me because they know their life isn’t working but are so exhausted and/or burnt out that they can’t see the wood from the trees.

A pivotal problem of both burnout and exhaustion.

To live life on our terms we need two fundamental things: energy and clarity.

Visualising, inspired thinking and planning all require calories and mental space. If we’re exhausted and/or burnt out, our energy will be reserved for one thing and one thing only: survival. With our energy depleted by thoughts of surviving now, there is no energy left for creative thinking and planning. With our minds full of fearful and problem-based thoughts, there is no space to imagine an inspired life let alone create one.

The point is you cannot set meaningful goals towards living life on your terms if you’re exhausted or burnt out. It could be why you’re struggling to even get started.

Exhaustion and Burnout Defined

Exhaustion is cited by The Medical Dictionary to be defined as:

1.?a?state?of?extreme?mental?or?physical?fatigue.

2.?the?state?of?being?drained,?emptied,?consumed,?or?used?up causing an inability to respond to stimuli

It often occurs through over-exertion or long-term exertion without proper rest in one or more life areas. Often trying to live up to too many expectations or meet too many demands (including our own high expectations and self-demands). It can be fear-driven (e.g. fear of failure, letting people down etc.) or need-driven e.g. seeking a sense of achievement, increased self-esteem, internal/external approval, connection, control or significance. It can also come from working too hard or too long on something that doesn’t come naturally to you and/or isn’t important to you.

It is often felt physically (e.g. low energy) but can also manifest in impaired cognitive function and reduced performance. Where it gets blurry is while exhaustion can be a stand-alone condition (e.g. due to over-exertion or long-term exertion without rest), it can also be a symptom of other physical and mental health conditions. Especially when rest doesn't remove the feelings of fatigue .

If the exhaustion is due to mental and/or physical over-exertion, a good break, reprioritisation of values and goals, setting clear boundaries, learning to say ‘no’ and installing some long-term lifestyle habit changes (e.g. sleep, healthy diet, movement, self-care, rest, paced goal-setting) can help restore a person’s energy and performance levels. However, because exhaustion is a symptom of other physical and mental health issues, it’s important to seek help to confirm or rule out other underlying causes.

Burnout is defined by WHO as:

“a syndrome conceptualized as resulting from chronic workplace stress that has not been successfully managed.” Meaning it’s work-specific and not applicable to other life areas (e.g. it's specifically brought on by work demands and stressors).

They characterise it by three dimensions:

• feelings of energy depletion or exhaustion
• increased mental distance from one’s job, or feelings of negativism or cynicism related to one's job
• reduced professional efficacy.

While researched for decades , burnout has only recently been included in WHO’s International Classification of Diseases (ICD-11) . It hasn’t been added to the DSM-5 by the American Psychiatric Association yet but is something they acknowledge and are offering support for.

Because burnout is often caused by a mental response to external pressures, a nice long holiday and making some work changes might not be enough to recover. Mental health and/or medical support might be required, particularly in more extreme cases of burnout where a person can no longer function in daily life. Also, because it's work-related, seeking help or guidance from your manager or employer about your workload and pressures might also be needed.

EDGING TOWARDS BURNOUT

Like many physical and mental challenges, burnout isn’t black or white. There is a gradual progression towards it. It’s key therefore to be mindful of any signs you’re on the way to burnout, to try and nip it in the bud before it becomes unmanageable.

Signs of edging towards burnout:

1)??Problems with memory, concentration and decision-making

2)??Everyone and everything is exhausting, often accompanied with feelings of irritability

3)??Disturbed sleep

4)??Poor emotional management – easily angered, stressed or teary when faced with a real and/or perceived threat

5)??Everything is urgent or a crisis. Often accompanied with feelings of no control and perception of no way out.

6)??Apathy/lack of care or interest towards work

7)??Failure to achieve even small goals or tasks

8)??Strained professional and/or personal relationships

9)??Inability to switch off from work

10) Poor self-care - junk food, not eating enough, drinking too much alcohol, smoking, over-exercising, relying on caffeine, being too sedentary, not sleeping or using drugs to help you sleep

11) Feeling underwhelmed or overloaded and in some instances neglected, unable to ask for help (either because it’s not an option, there could be negative consequences or you fear burdening others)

12) You feel frenetic, rushing from demand to demand

ARE YOU MORE PRONE TO BURNOUT?

While burnout is still being understood, it seems some people are more prone to burnout than others. Those I like to lovingly describe as the "extremists" (of which I am one!). However, being an extremist doesn't mean you will burn out. Agility, resilience and emotional regulation impact a person's ability to fend off burnout.

High/overachievers (performance is the priority with rest often ignored)

Perfectionists (aiming for an unachievable benchmark is exhausting - this is an old pattern of mine that can raise its head once in a while and has to be managed to avoid burnout)

Zero-empathisers (business is business: no desire to connect or empathise with colleagues, they often don’t build the relationships they need to delegate and receive help)

Controllers (the constant/extreme vigilance for problems and high need to control everything can be exhausting)

People-pleasers (often have no boundaries and go to extreme lengths to help/please others, leaving them exhausted)

The problem with burnout is, if experienced for too long, it can trigger depression and/or anxiety . Both are the killer of dreams. Depression will stop someone from taking action towards any goal. Underlying hopelessness drives “there’s no point” thinking so no action is taken to create change. Anxiety leads to interpreting everything as a threat and so all roads lead to hell. Paralysing someone in the fear of the here and now.

It's important then if you really want to live life on your terms, you must make self-respect, self-care and self-love priorities in your life. You can’t live life or build a life from an empty cup.

It's also important if you are struggling to function because of burnout or exhaustion and are experiencing symptoms of anxiety and depression to seek medical and/or professional help.

It's time to make YOU your priority.

What’s been your experience of exhaustion and/or burnout? What have you felt or seen?

Stay tuned for my next newsletter for tips on avoiding burnout, and grounding yourself in your life and your goals!

A small favour, if I may? I was recently nominated for “Best Career Coach” for the Coach Awards. If you have enjoyed my content and found my tips and advice useful and would like to vote for me, I'd really appreciate your vote. You can vote for me here .

(Thanks to everyone who has already voted! If you vote, let me know in the comments so I can thank you.)

Zeta xxx

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Zeta Yarwood is recognised as a leading international Executive Career Coach and Life Coach, helping individuals across the world to achieve success in all areas of their lives. With a degree in Psychology and over 10 years of experience in coaching, management and recruitment – working for multinational companies and award-winning recruitment firms – Zeta is an expert in unlocking human potential. Passionate about helping people discover their strengths, talents and motivation, Zeta lives to inspire others to dream big and create the life and career they really want.

For further information on coaching and general career/life inspiration, please visit?www.zetayarwood.com ?or follow on:

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