An Exercise in Choosing Yourself

Choosing yourself is an act of self-love and a strategic approach to living a more balanced life. On the other hand, depending on your point of view or beliefs, it may feel selfish or egocentric, but I challenge you to explore just past that.

The Dilemma

Today, I was using the bathroom after my daughter, who is on the cusp of adolescence, and noticed she had left a mess at the sink with her black girl magic hair gear and remnants scattered around. My mind raced with everything I wanted to tell her, but the biggest one I'll share with you. How is it okay to walk out looking gorgeous but leave the house a mess? If it's your responsibility to clean the sink and you continuously ignore it, what happens to the condition of the sink? Anything left unkept or uncared for eventually deteriorates, becomes unpleasant to use, and sometimes loses functionality because it wasn’t maintained with a consistent routine. This principle applies to anything in our lives, from annual checkups to car care or regularly watering the grass. Now, apply that to yourself. How does it serve others or yourself if you present a well-put-together image but exert so much energy outwardly that you barely leave reserves for the systems required to effectively manage that image? To effectively lead and serve?

The Exercise

To help challenge your thinking, I thought I would reshare some reflection questions from an article I recently shared on the deprioritization of self-care for black women. Try a few prompts, and let me know your thoughts in the comments.

1. Reflect on a time when you put others’ needs before your own. How did that affect your well-being and sense of self? Were there any regret thoughts?
2. Describe a moment when you felt truly at peace. What were you doing, and who were you with?
3. Write about a self-care practice that you’ve found beneficial. How can you incorporate it more consistently into your life?
4. Consider an area of your life where you feel overwhelmed. What steps can you take to create boundaries and prioritize your well-being?
5. Reflect on a recent accomplishment. How did prioritizing your needs contribute to this success?

Choosing yourself means recognizing the importance of your well-being and making decisions that prioritize caring for your mental, emotional, and physical health, allowing yourself the time and space to recharge.

The Action

Don't wait until burnout or overwhelm forces you to prioritize your well-being. Start today by setting one small boundary, scheduling a self-care activity, or simply taking a moment to breathe and reflect on your needs.

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Happy Mental Health Month.