EXECUTIVE PRESENCE COACHING 001: STRUGGLING TO COMMUNICATE WITH A SENIOR EXECUTIVE?

You're struggling to connect with one senior executive, superior or top Leadership and do not know how to overcome this difficulty in communication. How can you bridge the communication gap effectively?

?Allow me to relate my own experience and suggest some hacks and tips.

There was a senior Executive who was usually monosyllabic but had high expectations from his instructions in terms of performance. Mind you he was a solid General Manager Operations with loads of experience whilst I was an Executive – HRD with just two years of experience in the field. I struggled to do my best but failed. As days were passing by, I was getting more and more scared to meet him. In fact, I used to avoid him like plague. So, one day I approached him and spoke out my heart’s content. He listened carefully. After a bit of poignant silence, he replied: “I am the GM Operations and have a lot more responsibilities and less time. You are young and need to learn some communication skills bottom top. It is you who has to make the effort to understand me and ask me relevant questions in the paucity of time as you will not be able to see the bigger picture with so less experience. But first learn to kill your scare and anxiety as this will be your biggest challenge in life.”

What do you think went wrong from the start?

It does sounds like there was a significant communication gap between myself and the General Manager. Here are a few possible issues that may have contributed to the situation:

1.??? Lack of Clear Communication: The General Manager's monosyllabic nature may have made it difficult for me to understand his expectations fully. Without clear instructions or feedback, it’s challenging to know if you’re meeting his expectations.

2.??? Fear and Avoidance: My growing fear of the executive may have prevented me from seeking clarification or guidance, exacerbating the communication issues. Avoiding him likely led to missed opportunities for understanding his expectations and improving my performance.

3.??? Proactive Engagement: The General Manager mentioned that it was your responsibility to understand him and ask relevant questions. This suggests that he expected you to take a more proactive approach in seeking clarity and direction. Waiting for him to offer detailed instructions may not have aligned with his expectations of your role.

4.??? Perception of Responsibilities: There might have been a mismatch in the perception of responsibilities. While you may have expected more guidance, he expected you to take the initiative to understand his needs and expectations due to his busy schedule and higher responsibilities.

5.??? My Ego: My ego was goading me and prompting me all the time that issue is with the General manager and not me. Remember, you cannot clap with one hand! It takes two to tango.

6.??? Cry baby syndrome: "Cry baby syndrome" is not a formally recognized psychological or medical term, but it is commonly used colloquially to describe individuals who are perceived as overly sensitive, prone to complaining, or frequently upset over minor issues. Clearly, I was skirting the issue with” Why Me?” tears and self-pity.

?Steps to Address the Issue:

(1) Seek to understand than be understood: Who needs whom more? Clearly, I needed the GM more than he needed me. He could always get a better chap. Some questions that may help:

a)??? What are my intentions?

b)??? Am I genuinely interested in understanding the other person’s perspective?

c)??? Am I open to having my own views challenged or changed?

d)??? What assumptions am I bringing into this conversation?

e)??? Are there any biases or preconceived notions that might affect how I listen?

f)???? How can I set these aside to approach the conversation with an open mind?

g)??? What do I know about the other person’s context?

h)??? What factors might be influencing their perspective or behaviour?

i)???? How might their background, experiences, and current situation shape their views?

(2) Gauge the audience/person and understand his background: Remember, Operations people are not the most conversationalist, always preferring the comfort of their vernacular background for discussion. Remember this was in the 80’s. Is your superior a Baby Boomer, or Gen Y or Gen X. (More in next article on Generational Communication style)

(4)? Focus on strategic value: Focusing on the strategic value in communication, especially within a corporate or organizational context, involves using communication to achieve specific, long-term objectives that align with the organization's goals

(5) Initiate Open Communication: Regularly seek feedback and clarification from the General Manager/executive. Don’t wait for him to initiate the conversation; proactively ask questions to ensure you understand his expectations. Do - be brief. Reiterate and follow up. Start with” Sir, correct me if I am wrong……” it works all the time.

(6) Prepare for Meetings: Always carry a book or note pad or a diary before the meeting. Jot down instructions/advise or directions legibly. Go prepared with specific questions and summaries of your work. This shows that you’re making an effort to understand his needs and respect his time.

(7) Build Your own Confidence: Work on building your confidence to approach him. Practice framing your questions and concerns in a concise and respectful manner. Saying these affirmations daily helps:

a)??? "I am capable and strong."

b)??? "I believe in myself and my abilities."

c)??? "I can handle whatever comes my way."

(8) Understand His Perspective: Try to understand the GM/executive's perspective and constraints. Acknowledge his responsibilities and time limitations, and show that you’re willing to adapt to meet his expectations.

(9) Show respect and empathy: This and the above points go jointly together. In fact, they complement. Showing empathy is crucial for building strong, trusting relationships both in personal and professional settings. It involves understanding and sharing the feelings of others.

(10) Use clear concise language: Avoid jargon and technical terms. Please do not use typical shop floor technical terms over confidently without the experience and knowledge of the same.

(11) Ask relevant questions: If you do not know the subject you are being asked to deal with – Ask “WHAT” is it he desires you to do? Ask “WHY” to get a clear perspective and “WHEN” by way of which you can get the deadline time and date of deliverance clear. Ask “HOW” if you do not know how to do it.

(12) Be aware of non-verbal cues: This is of high importance if working in an MNC with superiors who are Expatriates. Non-verbal cues differ from place to place.

By taking these steps, you can bridge the communication gap and improve your working relationship with the Superior/GM/executive.

I am a Life and Business Coach who is not ashamed of having learnt from mistakes and weaknesses in life. However, I have all the time learnt from my mistakes and risen higher than ever before. Everyone goes through this problem and Challenge. After all, only someone who has taken up the challenge to improve, can coach you in your communications struggles.

Call me for FREE 4 sessions, personal face to face if in Mumbai or Thane or Zoom/Teams for a virtual chat. One thing I guarantee is that you will not only see the magic but feel it, too. Whatsapp me at +919619713801.