Executive effectiveness: the importance of self-care

I’m coaching a COO who recently said to me: ‘I feel frazzled all the time, the job is non-stop, my sleep is terrible, I can’t seem to prioritise, and I’m constantly snapping at my kids on the rare occasion I get to spend any time with them. The CEO seems to cope fine – what am I doing wrong?’

?‘Where are you focussing your time?’ I asked him.

‘Firefighting,’ he said. ‘Just doing whatever I can to keep on top of the latest urgent issue.’

You do not rise to the level of your goals

Here’s the problem, I thought. He is so caught up in his outputs he’s forgotten about being careful about how he prioritises his time. In the words of James Clear , ‘You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems’. Among the executives I work with, it’s the ones I observe prioritising self-care and ruthlessly focussing on where they spend their time that achieve the best outcomes.

Instinctively, most execs know this, so what stops them putting better habits into practice?

Prioritising short-term gain

As human beings, we’re pretty simple really. We like to think we’re complex (and in some ways we are), but ultimately we pursue what gives us pleasure and avoid what causes pain. We’re not much good at dealing with anything that’s not right in front of our noses. How many times have you prioritised staying in bed instead of going out for that early morning jog in the cold, or chosen fries over a salad? We know we’re making decisions that aren’t helping us in the longer term, yet still we go for the short-term pleasure.

The role of dopamine

I’m no neuroscientist, but I know that an important element here is dopamine . Dopamine plays a pivotal role in prioritisation, influencing how we evaluate tasks, set goals, and allocate our time and energy. Dopamine levels rise when we anticipate a reward, making tasks associated with higher expected rewards more attractive. This can lead to prioritising tasks that promise immediate or significant gratification.

Those fries promise much more immediate gratification than the boring salad.

Discomfort of delegating

The COO and I talked about what makes him prioritise firefighting. It came back not only to the immediate gratification of sorting urgent issues out, but also his responses to the discomfort of not doing everything perfectly. Leaving less important things not done or coping with delegating to others who may not do things the way he does was just too uncomfortable to bear. This discomfort often appeared at the moment his head hit the pillow and he felt compelled to get back out of bed to sort things out. No wonder he was frazzled!

How do senior people stop firefighting?

The first thing that senior people need to do is to recognise when they are being pulled into the downward spiral of only dealing with the here and now. We all get triggered by stress, but the more senior an exec is, the more their reactions to stress impact on others. Instead of acting on their triggers, it’s time to stop, breathe, and take a different course. The most effective execs I observe have important rituals and disciplines that help them remain effective, and resilient for when firefighting can’t be avoided:

• They prioritise their physical health by eating healthily, exercising, and ensuring they have enough sleep.
• They set clear boundaries between work and home and role model resistance to a long-hours culture. They say no where needed and protect their time and energy. They avoid sending emails out of business hours.
• They take time to plan and ensure they’re delegating and spending time leading rather than doing.
• They seek feedback and support, ask for help when they need it, and focus on learning and development.
• They nurture relationships with friends, family, and colleagues, to provide social support and connection, and to exchange ideas and gain new perspectives.
• They take time to reflect. They objectively evaluate what went well and what could have gone better without being overly judgemental or self-critical.

How do you practise self-care and remain effective?

An exec’s role is to conduct the orchestra, not to play every instrument. They have to empower others to play their part and accept that people will put the odd wrong note in. We’re all human, and mistakes are (mostly) not that damaging!

What do you do to look after yourself and remain effective? I’d love to hear your thoughts.

HEX - improving the here and now

At HEX, we don’t consider the coach an expert or a teacher, but as a facilitator of learning. Looking back at the past and also to the future, but most importantly, our coaching focusses on improving performance in the here and now We’re here to help and confident investing in coaching with us will drive positive and lasting change, so get in touch to book a free no-obligation discovery call.