Example of Bad Business Writing

Business-speak is almost as bad as academic speak. In other words, bad writing is found even in the most noble of professions.

Here is a single sentence from a business report that explains a supply chain disaster from 1996. The only context you need is that "ERP" stands for Enterprise Resource Planning. This is how companies do their accounting books. Prepare yourself for this:

Ideally, with an ERP system, the company would be able to manage ordering inventory and sales activities in one system which was expected to streamline operations and provide efficient distribution of prescription drugs which is a critical component of the pharmaceutical industry.

In less than a minute here is how I re-wrote that "sentence" so that human beings can grasp it. 

There were two related outcomes Foxmeyer desired from an ERP system. First, it would allow them to manage ordering, inventory and sales activities within a single system. Second, a single system would streamline their operations. And the faster patients receive life-saving drugs the better.

My point is simply that even if your report is for C-Level executives, these people are... People!

In order for progress to occur, bad writing must be eliminated whenever it is found.