Ex-pro footballer, Mark Crossley opens up about his mental health journey
Mark Crossley spent over 30 years as a professional football player and coach, playing for Nottingham Forest and winning eight international caps for Wales. But when his career ended he couldn’t even leave the house. Now he raises money for mental health charities across the UK.
As part of Fix Radio’s Mental Health Health, Clive Holland caught up with Mark to talk about how keeping active has been key to managing his mental health.
Clive Holland: Not sure if you played with Steve Stone, but he said, ‘once you retire from the game you become invisible.’ How was it for you when you left the game?
Mark Crossley: It is a tough transition from player to coach, and then from coach to nothing.?
As a player everything is put on a plate for you, you’re told where to be, what time to be there, what to eat, when to eat it. It is a little like carrying on from school.?
When you become a coach, you become that teacher to the players. You become an organiser.?
When I got to 51 years old, I wasn’t enjoying my job. I was coaching at the lower levels, constantly on the motorway, never at home and it really affected my family life.
I decided to have a break. But the problem was, I didn’t realise what would happen when I took the break. It happened overnight. The decision was made for me at Chesterfield. I was working with John Sheridan.?
We got the sack on January 2nd, and I got up and drove to work the next morning. I thought ‘what am I doing – I’ve been sacked!’ It hit me really hard, I didn’t come out of the bedroom for three weeks.?
All of a sudden, the planning and the structure was gone. It affected me really, really badly – my dad got a cancer diagnosis at the same time.
It just seemed to be everything at once.
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Holland: What made you lock yourself in your room??
Crossley: I didn’t want to do anything to be honest.?
It was a decision I had made to come out of the game and give more time to family, and I just can’t explain why it hit me so hard.?
I had counselling through Sporting Chance and the conclusion we came to was that the structure from my life had gone. I needed to find something to replace that structure.?
That is why I found walking. I used to set my alarm and go walking, I needed to go so far, and be back at a certain time. I got a calendar, and all of a sudden I started to feel a little bit better.
That was when I set up Walkings Brilliant Group. I got in touch with a lot of footballers that have been open about their own struggles and we all got together, set up the charity and things have gone from strength to strength.?
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Holland: As a player you have all this pressure – from fans, management and the pressure you put on yourself – did that make it much harder when it all came to an end?
Crossley: I suffer badly from anxiety and I have a fear of dying as well. I am being quite open because since we set up this group the best way to be is open.?
The anxiety is the main thing, because you are under a lot of pressure to perform in front of 30,000, 40,000 fans every week. If things don’t go very well, the anxiety levels go through the roof.
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I could never sleep after a game, because I was always rewinding what had happened, what I could have done better, what I did really well.?
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Holland: We currently lose two people every working day to suicide. What would you say to them when it’s time to talk?
Crossley: What I would say, ‘pick up the phone and speak with somebody’. Speak with your doctor.??
The one thing we are not are doctors. So the most important thing is to talk to your doctor.
We all have different cliches – so I have to have a calendar… and walking helps me because it releases endorphins.?
When you have been in the public eye your whole life and you’re happy to come out and speak about your troubles, it encourages people to do it. They think ‘if he can do it, I can do it.’ That was our aim, and it is happening more and more.
Endorphins are a big thing, even if you can’t walk far, even if you’re in a wheelchair go outside in the fresh air. Get somebody to push you, even if it is five minutes or ten minutes.?
Set targets everyday, and try and stick to those targets as much as possible.
Loads of people have been in touch to say walking, it is such a simple thing but it is so good for the mind, body and soul.
Holland: What mental charities have you been working with?
Crossley: Small mental health charities needed help. So what we do is, we’ve done the coast walk, the three peaks, we’ve had lots of charity golf days, we’ve had lots of charity football matches. And the money that we raise, we are a non-profitable organisation at the moment that wants to turn into a charity.?
We make donations and it is all stuff that is linked to mental health.?
For example, a company in Nottingham called Forever Stars, have a counselling programme for parents that have lost children still born, or at a young age. We kitted their office out for them.?
It is just small donations, we like to give material things rather than give money to big charities, so we can see what we have brought.
So we got 15 bikes for a sporting mental health charity community programme. We brought them 15 bikes and to go there and see their looks on their faces? that is what gives us our buzz.
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LINKS
Senior Manager - Brickwork Academy, Outreach & Social Value at Lee Marley Brickwork Ltd (LMB)
2 年My company built the brickwork on his house in East Surrey just as he was retiring from football