The evolving lies of Sadam

On this trip, my approach to finding fulfillment in my career has undergone a significant shift. As a result, the voice of self-doubt in my head, the one I affectionately (well, not really) call Sadam, has adapted his tactics. Today, I want to share this internal dialogue with you and how I'm learning to use it as a tool for growth rather than a roadblock.

Previously, my compass for career choices pointed towards stable, prestigious roles with good paychecks. The logic? Earn enough to achieve financial independence, then finally, work could be enjoyable. Sadam, ever the "protector," fueled this approach with a potent cocktail of lies. Lies like:

• "You're a fake. You'll mess up this job and not get a more prestigious one."
• "Just hit that magic net worth number and your achievement anxieties will disappear, leaving space for purpose."
• "Your work lacks meaning because you're scared to chase a specific, noble cause. Right now, it's just a money and prestige grab."

These pronouncements echoed my deepest insecurities, making them feel like undeniable truths.

A New Vision, New Lies

My perspective has shifted. Now, I plan to seek meaning in the daily pursuit of high-quality work that contributes to a clear, but evolving, vision. Skill development and positive impact are king, not salary. Money is a strong indicator of customer value (i.e. high quality work), but it is not the ultimate goal. The goal for my next work role is increasing autonomy, focus time, and deep connections.

Of course, Sadam isn’t liking my new focus and hopes. He's updated his attack:

• I don’t have enough knowledge or experience to be respected on my own.
• If I really loved my family, I’d pick the most stable income stream
• I’m always going to be dissatisfied with work. It’s just my nature at this point. Why take more risk if it probably won’t change my satisfaction?

Understanding Sadam's Roots

These lies, though wearing new clothes, originate from the same place: a deep-seated desire to prove my lovability and self-worth. This voice, a remnant of my middle school self, desperately wants to maintain the image of "Mr. Perfect" and not disappoint the unconditional love and pride of my parents.

However, here's the key takeaway: silencing Sadam isn't the goal. He's a part of me, a protector who emerged from very real needs. My current approach is to view him as a (dare I say?) well-intentioned part of my internal team. He double-checks if the risks I'm taking align with my values and goals. This perspective empowers me to choose paths where the rewards outweigh the potential losses.

Turning the Critic into a Coach

I’d love to hear from you about two things.

• First, what are the lies your inner voice tells you? How do you joyfully confront them in pursuit of your dreams?
• Second, I find that the encouragement of others goes a long way in building our confidence in ourselves. If you disagree with what Sadam says about Adam, I’d love to hear why.

One final reminder: meaningful work isn't about chasing perfection. It's about growth, embracing challenges, and learning to see our internal critics as potential allies on our path to fulfillment.

Thanks for reading! If you want to hear more of my thoughts on the subject, you can subscribe to a podcast I’m doing with my good friend Stephen by clicking the link below. Each week we break down one of my newsletters and go deeper on the topic. We’d love to have you join the conversation.

The Identity Work Podcast