Evolve Toward Change with New Year's Evolutions

I love a new year. It’s like a new journal, blank as a new day--so many possibilities. A new year is a mental milestone, a time to start over, to make corrections, to make changes.

 Why then, do we always seem to fall back into old patterns? Do we lack commitment? Are we lazy? Maybe we really don’t want to change.

 I have come to the conclusion; unfounded by any scientific documentation, clinical research, or expert opinion; that we can’t just change, we have to evolve.

 “Well, isn’t that the same thing?” you ask.

 I don’t think it is. Most of us tackle personal change as a one-time event. “I will quit smoking!” “I will stop eating sugar!”

 We decide on making an abrupt shift in our behavior to affect change, something that can happen, but usually doesn’t. Evolved change on the other hand, is change that occurs in short increments over time, because of simple decisions we make at the beginning and throughout the process.

 Some abrupt changes in our lives are due to things that happen to us. Usually contrary things, like traffic accidents, floods and illness that force change upon us. We react and change because we have to.

 Many of the bad things that happen to us just happen. But if we were to forensically examine each one, we’d see that most of them are caused by decisions we’ve made. Home foreclosures, relationship struggles, and some health issues are likely caused by decisions we made at some point. Conversely, some of those downers could be caused by decisions we didn’t make, because like the man said, “not deciding is a decision.”

 Then there are good things that happen to us, like winning the lottery, getting a promotion, or having a baby. These things are good changes but usually happen because of a decision we made somewhere along the path of the occurrence.

 All the hundreds of decisions we make everyday add up to results. Each choice has a consequence. Each consequence has an effect. Some are good and some, not so much.

 That’s why it’s so hard to change! A desire to lose weight is dependant on many more decisions than just changing our eating habits. The decisions about what and how we eat can be affected by other decisions we have to make that have nothing to do with food, like, where we're going to be and who we’ll be with. Just those two circumstances could affect our decision to eat healthy at that moment. Are we at an amusement park with a special friend? Surrounded by fried everything? Are we on the road rushing to a meeting with only limited choices for a quick bite? 

 If exercise is our thing--we have to decide everyday to go to the gym or get on that stationary bike. But then, other decisions arise that force us to give away the decision to exercise for something that seems more pressing at the time, like a friend in need or a dentist appointment. Maybe the decision to exercise at the gym is stymied by an imposed change to our schedule, like car trouble. (Maybe we decided not to change the oil.)

 Everyday, each decision we make results in a consequence that affects the other decisions we make, and those affect yet others until we may feel we are no longer in control of some of our goals.

 In the airline industry they call it a cascade. That’s where one thing occurs, causing a second, leading to three more things that lead eventually to disaster; or, in the case of decisions that support our goals, success.

 So how does a person affected by all these consequences gain control and rise above?

 We have to start at the beginning of the cascade.

 Imagine a pond with a mirror surface. Toss in one pebble to represent one decision. The ripples go out from that first choice and extend out into every nook and cranny of the pond, reaching out and bouncing back. Then toss in another pebble, creating new ripples that interact with the first set of ripples--each decision, another pebble.  The pond is your day, week or year. Some decision ripples bounce around a long time, affecting decisions that haven’t been made yet while others come and go almost in the instant we make them; often determined by the size of the decision.

 At the end of every chain of consequences caused by our own decisions, there was a first—meaning, there was a first decision that started the consequence cascade for that decision.

 So for example, your first decision or resolution is to eat healthier. Then the very next day you decide NOT to eat that free donut in the break room because you had already decided to eat better this year. That second decision is a result of your first decision to eat healthier. Deciding not to eat the donut gives you confidence that you can do it, so the next decision about what to have for lunch that day can go in a positive direction rather than a negative. “I didn’t eat the donut. I know I can succeed, so I will eat healthy for lunch.” Then the next positive decision regarding food is easier to make.

 Had you eaten the donut the consequence might have been that you decide you’re too weak and can’t succeed so “since I already blew it, I might as well get fried chicken for lunch.” Then you’re back where you started and the next bad decision is easier to make.

 Positive outcomes breed positive outcomes, while negative outcomes…you get it.

 It may seem simplistic, yet as we examine each important goal, we will realize that decisions leading to sustained successes make future successes easier, while those that lead to sustained failures cause us to second-guess our abilities and may lead to abandoning the goal.

 While we can’t completely free our lives of negative impacts, whether by our own choices or those imposed on us, we can limit the negative consequences by consciously making decisions that lead us in a positive direction. Then as our confidence builds, our ability to choose the path towards our goals improves, and we begin to evolve toward change.

 Gregory King is President and CEO of King Media Group, an events and production company located in Irvine California. www.kingmediagroup.com