Evolution of Self

We are each evolving all the time and summer is moving me toward a place of acceptance and ease. Yung Pueblo writes in his book of poetry, Inward:

the mind is a series of patterns

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if we wish to change ourselves

we should create new habits

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when we build new habits

we are creating a new life

I am wondering on behalf of you and me, what new life is emerging within you?

I am actively releasing into the gentle pull of August’s easy-going nature which feels like an invitation to do less and enjoy more. It’s a choice I’m repeatedly making, overriding my patterned way of doing life at max capacity, which wasn’t working for me in the season of ease and fun.?

Managing the maelstrom of two adolescents at home with open schedules while upholding my work schedule has been a stretch that has edged me toward the realization that letting more slack in the line is my best choice for my well-being. Too many days passed with one eye on work and the other on the two of them, batting away constant requests that interrupted my concentration and required my attention—a ride to their buddy’s house across town, tuna fish sandwiches (hold the relish), another ride (a pick up this time), a request to text a mom to plan a playdate (And are we still calling them playdates as they head into middle school?), a drop off to the outdoor mall, etc.?

My days unwound like spools of yarn tumbling aimlessly down a hill.

I missed appointments or confused start times, feeling distracted by life coming at me. I found myself reacting to the whims of others, instead of planning and responding to what I felt would be most supportive of my intentions for the day. Summer had me by the tail and I was feeling whiplashed.?By the end of most days, I called Brent, asking for help to pick up the kids and make dinner, because I had done enough. I would spend the next few hours catching up on work I had put off, and found myself in a cycle of working too hard with too many inefficiencies.?

So I have been taking a new tack, pivoting my sail into the wind rather than letting the natural energy of the season slip on by me. I decided to release my belief that more was better and began to look for ways to do less to have more time for ease, connection, and play.

…cooking meals full of love for my family, and the most delicious treat of all, reading a book on the grass in the fading light of the summer afternoon.

June and July brought life to a place where I navigated juggling work and play, which is always a bit tricky. The excitement and joy of travel boosts my energy because I love the adventure it offers, always new, unpredictable, and full of possibility. But I haven’t always been mindful of how much extra energy it takes to live in constant transition, especially if I’m trying to adhere to work routines or deadlines that exist at odds with the context of the location of the travel and the circumstance.

This August has given me time to feel what life is like when I stop ascribing my sense of fulfillment and worth to a false idea that I am more because I do more—make more, write more, exercise more, etc. Consciously I know that is false, but knowing in my bones is different.

Change lives in choice.

Choosing slow over fast. Less over more. Easy over hard. No over yes.

This evolution is a revolution.

We choose who we want to be and decide how to spend our energy—in flow or at odds. I’m choosing flow, with a sprinkle of ease, spaciousness, and delights.

I have grown more realistic about my to-do list, capping it to only three key items to accomplish a day. The long master list looms in the corner of my desk, but for summer, shorter, focused bursts of attention and energy directed on projects in bite-sized pieces is the best way to do less and still move forward.

?Beginning and ending my days with clear choices crafted as questions creates bookends for my days, guiding me toward being RESPONSE-ABLE for how my days look and feel, rather than reactive to what pops up.?

I am choosing to begin and end my days with curiosity and gratitude by asking—

Morning: What is inspiring me? How do I want to feel? What do I want to do to ensure I feel this way?

Evening: What am I proud of? What surprised and delighted me? What choices nourished me the most?

By doing less, I have more of myself to offer others. I am saving space in my day to feel and appreciate so much more. Since I'm not traveling as much, I am happy to swap my roller bag for the company of the hens clucking and pecking about in the dirt of our backyard in search of fallen berries or bugs. I’m embracing the slower pace as clients pause to rest and recreate before the back-to-school rush calls us back to a different season of our routines.

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I knew I was on the right path when

I started feeling peace in situations

where I would normally feel tension

— Yung Pueblo

Pieces to Ponder

In Collioure, France, Lidia Yuknavitch, author and founder of Corporeal Writing, led a writing workshop in which she asked us a series of deeply powerful questions that gave us a collective pause as we shifted from listening to her ask the question to listening to our own inner responses take shape.

She asked—

“If I loved myself unequivocally, what would I start doing, stop doing, and do more and less of?”?

She continued with this clarifying insight—

?“We are always dissolving and evolving, coming into form and losing form.”?

Then, she followed up with these two incisive questions—??

“What form am I coming into at this point in my life?” and “What form do I need to let go of?”

?My answers are woven into my letter to you above. What are your thoughts about your beautiful life?

?Poke at the edges of your tolerance by playing the “What if” game. Ask yourself something far out that feels almost absurd, and pause long enough to really consider your honest and full response, not just your reaction to the question.?

?For example:

• What if money was no object, what would I choose to do with my time?
• What if I was a famous celebrity, how would I leverage my power and status for good?
• What if I gave myself 3 months to live the life I hope to have one day, what would I do?

Remember

Enjoy the joys of August, dear ones! Be there for yourself, for those you love, and for the vision that aligns you with your work in the world.?

xo,

Katie