THE EVOLUTION OF RESOLUTIONS

I often like to seek out the latest research in human psychology and behavior change this time of year. Is there any new knowledge or insights on ways to affect positive change and growth? The last few years have seen a widespread repudiation of the idea of resolutions. You're probably familiar with the?oft-repeated stats on how most folks fail to achieve their new year's resolutions. Many people see resolutions as an out-of-fashion, futile, annual ritual of dashed hopes!

Yet?one in four Americans perseveres?in this Sisyphean endeavor! As one of those, I love the?validation of articles like this?that confirm what I believe: whether we keep our intentions or not, the act of considering what matters in our lives and committing to some goals inspires us to live intentionally, filling our lives with purpose and hope.

?Failure is simply a lesson on what doesn't work and an invitation to learn more about ourselves and our desires.?

It's a false assumption that "success" is the goal of setting resolutions. The journey is the goal—asking ourselves, what gives our life meaning? How do we want to live our days, feel purposeful, and make the most of our precious and fragile time here? We do this every year because our answers change as we grow and the world morphs.

In the spirit of embracing and learning from our failures, here's an update on some failed resolutions and what I'm doing to adjust!

Tech Shabbat Experiment–Take 2

Remember when I got all excited about the bold idea of?one tech-free day a week? Well, I never got the habit to stick. So I'm trying again by leveraging two of the key insights from the Science of Habit article:

• No more negative chastising of myself whenever I "fail" and don't aim for perfection. Instead, I give myself a positive pep talk that goes something like this, "Great effort! You got an entire industry of tech giants working against you, so don't beat yourself up. Just try again; that's all that matters!"?
• I'm dialing up the pleasure and reward alternatives by getting a slew of interesting, visually-sumptuous new magazines to delight and entertain my mind whenever the screen beckons!

Mindful End of Work–Take 99!

My typical end-of-day ritual involves my daughter and husband yelling, "Dinner is ready!" while I desperately try to type out one more email or one last line in a report I'm writing. It's just a messy way to end the day that leaves a feeling of dissatisfaction all around—my mind is absent for the first half of dinner as it lingers on my unfinished business. I know there's no such thing as "finishing" the neverending to-do list and that I have to find a better way to wrap up work and transition to family life. But nothing works!

Taking cues from behavior studies about stacking habits (pleasurable ones if possible!), I finally found something that seems to be working.?

I set the alarm for half an hour before dinner. When it goes off, I wrap up what I'm doing, make a cup of herbal tea, do a little dance, and then read a business book or magazine while I sip my tea and eat a piece of chocolate. It's something I look forward to and permit myself to do because it's still "work" to stay abreast of the latest in culture and business.?

It's been only a few weeks, but it's already working much longer than any of my previous efforts!

This article was originally published in Izzy's Big Flipping Newsletter (subscribe here!). Izzy Chan is a strategist, researcher, documentary filmmaker, keynote speaker, cultural envoy, consultant, and the director of?Matriarch, a documentary-in-progress set in four matriarchal communities around the world.