The Evolution of Irritation: Rethinking Our Relationship with?Anger

I was waiting in line at the post office the other day, and there was a bit of a wait - as usual at my local office - when a woman finally got to the counter with a large box after waiting maybe 10 minutes.

The clerk behind the counter then broke the bad news: "I'm sorry, this is USPS, not UPS. You have to go to UPS to return this item."

She was unhappy and yelled for everyone to hear, "You know, they really should put up a sign that says that!"

The woman's solution to the problem would be for the United States Post Office to hang up a sign that reads "This is not UPS."

I wondered why we get angry. I couldn't figure it out, so I did what most people do: I Googled it.

It turns out scientists believe that the human brain developed the ability to experience anger over millions of years as a survival mechanism. This emotional capacity likely evolved to help our ancestors defend against dangers, vie for limited resources, and maintain social order within groups.

So I guess, like everything, we can blame our parents (parents' parents' parents' parents' parents', etc.).

The thing is, anger is funny. Ricky Gervais, Bill Burr, and of course, Larry David have made a living being mad at the world. There's nothing I love more than seeing someone angrily publicly shouting on a cell phone, hearing only their side of the story, and watching the literal smoke come out of their ears.

When it comes to business, we all talk about the importance of emotional intelligence and EQ over IQ. Well, Daniel Goleman, the godfather of "Emotional Intelligence," wrote, "Anger is an indication that we are lacking emotional intelligence."

I think anger used to be cool. Now you just look like a dick. Can you imagine 1984 Steve Jobs in 2024?

The impact of anger extends beyond external manifestations to affect our internal health. A study published in the Journal of the American Heart Association (JAHA) earlier this year revealed a direct connection between anger and vascular dysfunction, which is considered a precursor to long-term cardiovascular damage, potentially leading to serious conditions such as heart attacks and strokes.

Can you imagine that doctor's visit? "What happened to you?" and you tell the doc, "I had a stroke because I went to the post office and they didn't accept my UPS package."

I would venture to guess that 90% of the stuff that pisses us off today will not tomorrow. And yes, I just made that statistic up.

Seneca, the Stoic philosopher of Ancient Rome, said, "The greatest remedy for anger is delay." And he died in 65 AD; can you imagine all the stuff that would tick you off in the first century?

And he isn't the only one; Buddhists say that patience is the antidote to anger and aggression.

I sometimes laugh at myself when I try to think back and recall what made me angry a couple of days earlier. At the moment, it seemed worth it, but less than 48 hours later, it was dust in the wind.

Humor is a wonderful antidote to anger. When my wife loses her cool, I like to say, "You know, you sound like your father." I'll admit, she doesn't always laugh at that one.

But we have to try to avoid Hulking out over every little infraction because not all infractions require the same reaction. Yes, we're all allowed to get mad, it's human nature, reread the part about evolution. But we need to improve our self-awareness so that we can tell the difference between something petty and something freaking huge.

Some are unavoidable, but many of the things that piss us off can be removed from our lives. If news and politics make you angry, stay off social media. If a member of your family gets under your skin, stay away from them. And if there's something at work that's pissing you off, take a mental health day.

We all need to have the driver's brain switched on all the time — that's the brain we use when we're in our car. When someone cuts you off or forgets to turn on their blinker - man, that pisses me off - by the time we get home, we've forgotten all about it as if it never happened.

The next time you get angry or are about to have an outburst at a partner, child, or co-worker, take a minute and ask yourself: Will I be mad about this tomorrow? Or next week? Or a month from now?

I’m pretty sure that woman at the post office has already forgotten she was even there.

This won’t piss you off…Season 2 of Good Listen Kicks Off September 5th!

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