Evicting the voices in the head as they are not paying your rent, they simply need to f**k off

When one becomes vulnerable, it is often experienced when oneself is feeling bored and lonely.

Many demons can resurface and your ego has a field day, as it gets an enormous erection more powerful than taking several Viagra pills.?

Negative thoughts come swamping in hindering your judgement, and the immense loss of your self-work can be robbed any minute.?

?From a mild voice the volume gets louder and louder screaming at you:

‘You don’t deserve this; you are not worthy’.

In that split second, you feel vulnerable and actually listen to it.

Whilst you are listening, you are feeding your fear and your ego is having multiple orgasms on your behalf.

You forget to pause and breathe instead, you feel helpless and alone and that no one understands or feels your pain, so it seems.

Your mindfulness becomes mindless in that split second and the voices are not going away any minute sooner.

It is easy to say you can open the door and tell them to just f**k off; after all, they are not paying you rent to occupy your mind.

This is the thing; you don’t know how to and you feel you have no control.

Coming out of your comfort zone can be good when you’re trying out new things, but in this case, you are so far away from your comfort zone that you actually feel like you are on another planet.

You feel alienated so much so you begin not recognising yourself.

It begins to take hold of your life and them voices are dictating your actions by physically restricting you in placing action.

What you don’t realise is this: you have control; all you have to do is to be mindful to gain back that control.

Recently, I was coaching a client of mine who had experienced the voices of doubt.

He started a new business, and all was going well.

He would spend hours on end laying out plans, marketing strategies, designing his logo, website, the costs of his services, etc; that he wasn’t paying attention to the root of his problems.

Prior to setting up his own business, he got divorced and didn’t process the break up, in terms for allowing time to heal. He just went straight in with his business and nothing else.

When the business was actually running by itself, he was able to hire staff to take off the load.

He no longer was a lone man running a business and actually had time for himself.

The problem was this; when he actually had that time to himself and wasn’t running around like a headless chicken, he felt empty and with it became vulnerable.?

The voice of doubt kicked in and harshly in making him realise he was alone.

To cut the long story short, he was married for 2 years and during that period he wasn’t happy to begin with and never gave himself time to actually resonate with what he enjoyed doing.

During our sessions, we established he wasn’t in love with his ex-wife and it was just a marriage of convenience for him, as he feared being alone.

We established that when he felt alone, the voices of doubt would kick in, and with it, he couldn’t cope.

I could tell that something from his past had triggered his fear of feeling alone and so I dug deeper.

It came to light that his mother left him when he was 11 years old and he never knew his father.?

He was living with his nan who rejected him after just 1 month, he then was placed in a foster home and throughout his experience, he felt no one wanted him, abandoned and un-loved.?

The way he coped was to continuously to study, place his full focus on work accompanied by jumping from one relationship to another.?

It was no surprise that he threw himself into starting his new business straight after getting divorced to avoid the voice of doubt.

Fast forward; it was now highlighted he didn’t enjoy feeling alone.

Through it, he didn’t face fears from a young age and they spiralled out of control into his adulthood.?

We began working on the U-turn by taking baby steps to accepting loneliness and converting a thought pattern to being mindful of how it actually made him feel. When doing so, he actually realised that he didn’t want to feel this way.

He didn’t want to jump straight into relationships and, in general, anything that involved him not facing abandonment issues.

When he realised this, that’s when he heard another voice, the voice of his true authentic self-begging with him to stop this repeated pattern.?

The next step was to welcome the feeling of loneliness and convert it to a mindset of acknowledging it was time out to appreciate his own presence and not of a feeling of that of feeling abandonment.?

Over a space of a couple of months and being mindful of his past actions, for the first time in his life, he could pin-point his actions, moving onto correcting them and except he was feeding the voice of doubt.?

The result was pretty blunt. The voice of doubt got evicted and was no longer robbing him while enjoying his present moment.

Through his experience he was able to recognise what truly made him feel at his most authentic self, as a plus for once in his life he recognised the qualities in a potential partner that he was truly looking for, supposed to the past partners.?

Before I had a strong understanding of how the egoic mind can sabotage and separate you from your true authentic self, I was a victim too of the doubting voice.

This is the thing most don’t understand, we all fall victim to it in our lives; the question is how we deal with it and grow.

?I have outlined some guidelines to follow if you to have experienced this, or have experienced it in the past and to stop it growing:

# We forget sometimes to actually breathe deeply and relaxed at the same time. If the voice of doubt enters your mind, focus on your breathing and concentrate the breath on your diaphragm than your shoulders.

#Think of a minor achievement you, yourself, have done all alone that has been positive.

#Do not take any negative thoughts from your ego or others. If you feel it in your heart, follow that feeling.

#Repeat positive mantras such as ‘I will no longer listen to negative thoughts, for I know I am able, well and hold love for myself within’.

#Repeat positive affirmations, ‘I am worth more than to allow negative thoughts to occupy my mind’.

#Change your surrounding from everyday routine such as nature or even a change of scenery is always recommended to change your mindset when you’re feeling vulnerable and ready to open the door to the voice of doubt.

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#Remind yourself that you own your mind, not your ego.

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#Be mindful of negative situations and people and remind yourself that you have a choice to entertain it or not.

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#Do things that uplift your spirit and that you love doing.

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#Remind yourself that you owe it to ‘You’ not to let you down.

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#Be mindful when situations that are not going your way could be lessons and the road to further growth.

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?Interested in working with Helena email: [email protected]

#mindsetcoach #mindsetmatters #voiceofdoubt #evict #behappy #mindset

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