Everything is Your Fault
If you're walking down a street and a gang mugs you and roughs you up, who is to blame?
Some would say it's the thugs' fault - the crooks with their thieving tendencies. Some would blame law enforcement, and the empathetic ones would say that it's circumstances that forced them to such desperate ends - it's the economy, it's society, it's a lack of morals among the youth... the list of possible culprits is endless.
If you ask a Shaolin monk though, they'll say it's your fault -- you should've started practising martial arts forty years ago, at age 5. The thugs would see the scars on your face and knuckles and your attitude when you turned around and they'd know you're not one to mess with.
Because they believe that everything is your fault.
If you're broke, in an unhappy relationship, with an unhealthy body, in a miserable job, etc., you have to take into account the fact that your choices (and the accompanying actions/inactions) played a huge part in you being there, and only you are solely responsible for getting yourself out of that hole.
It is so much easier to give excuses and blame others - because then it's they who have to change, not you. There's always gonna be reasons to not change, but regardless of what you chose, there's consequences for both making the change and maintaining the status quo. And guess who gets to live with the consequences of your choices?
You.
NO ONE loves you as much as you do yourself.
The government may pass some regulation that favours you, but it for sure won't fix your work ethic for you. Your reverend won't manage your finances for you, and the media definitely won't raise your children for you.
So what's stopping you from walking that last 2 km stretch on your way from work that you always take by nduthi? From eating healthier? From demanding fair treatment from your partner? Why are you settling for a job that you hate? For a body you don't like? Exploring the root of our unease is a helpful activity that helps identify what one needs to change.
You need to treat yourself like someone who matters. And sometimes that means being hard on oneself, owning up to your mess-ups, and taking the necessary action to correct them.
Remember, no one cares about you more than you do. And in case you're unaware, there's no shortage of people who wouldn't hesitate to take advantage of you if they can get away with it.
And if you're above 18 and live in a capitalist country (e.g. Kenya), everything wrong with your life is your fault. For one reason: who else's fault would it be?
Sure, there's lots of problems in our country. But remember, you're living in the best time EVER to be alive. Life could be way harder - and it was, just a few decades ago. The way I see it, you achieve what you focus on. If you're keen on problems, you'll always see (and attract) problems. The inverse is also true: if you focus on opportunities, on the pluses of being alive today, the upside is astronomical.
Everything is your fault: the good and the bad, the ugly and the fantastic.
This little rant is a call to arms. For you to put your room in order.
Because you deserve a better life -- and you can get it -- but you need to take responsibility for everything about it, not just the pleasant things. Then make the necessary changes.
Can't get a job with your university degree? Have you considered working for someone you admire for free? What do you have to lose?
Unhappy in your relationship? Hash it out with your partner.
Can't stand looking yourself in the mirror? It's time to rethink your diet and exercise regimen.
Are you easily intimidated by others? Learn how to negotiate, maybe take up boxing.
Frustrated by you job? It's time to make that change you've been considering.
Stop looking for someone to come fix your problems. Unless you have a fairy godmother, you'll have to roll up your sleeves, and do something about the things in your life that don't please you. It might be the hardest thing you ever do, but you're the one who gets to enjoy the fruits or bear the regrets. The choice is yours.
Treat yourself like someone who matters.
P.S.: The device you're using to read this has more computational power than the Apollo 11. You can use it to go online and bemoan all that is wrong with humanity, or you can use it to change the trajectory of your life. Make of that what you will...