Everything you didn't want to know about Election Day and didn't ask.

I assume normal people wake up on election day and at some point think “I must remember to vote”, perhaps even remembering that they must also remember to bring ID with them. As you may well have guessed, I’m not a normal person, so election day for me looks a bit different.??

Good Morning

Often the first job is to get out and deliver some leaflets, yes, even on the day itself. If you’re in a hotly contested seat you might get a “Good Morning” leaflet, something Lib Dems(or Liberals as were) have been using since the 1970s. In fact, before that, there were LiberalGrams, designed to look like telegrams and encourage people to get out and vote.?

When some contests can be decided by a handful of votes these targeted messages to core supporters can make all the difference. If you’re in a seat with very motivated campaigners, you could expect to receive a couple of leaflets and several knocks on your door.

If you want to avoid all this and have already decided how you will vote your best bet is to display a window poster or even a party stakeboard, and register for a postal vote. That way any party with even a passing desire to save time and money will leave you well alone.?

If you’re voting on the day I’d suggest you vote early and give your poll card number to the lovely people standing outside the polling station, usually proudly displaying rosettes.

Tellers

Many people are reticent to speak to these fine individuals (I know, as I’ve done the job and will be again this Thursday), but there’s nothing to fear. They are known as “tellers” and their job is to stand outside polling stations and record the electoral number of people who have voted. Why on earth would they do this??

In tight elections, it’s really important to make sure all of your likely voters actually turn up. Behind each teller lurks a team of sometimes dozens of other activists. Once they have a good list of numbers the election agent will collect them and furiously tap them into a laptop, showing what turnout is like and bringing up a list of those who are likely to vote for the candidate but have not yet voted. Teams of willing volunteers will then be dispatched to knock on those doors, ask if they intend to vote, and sometimes even give them a lift to the polling station.?

There are strict rules, tellers must not impede or interfere with the process of voting, they may not enter the polling station unless it is to vote. They can’t campaign for a candidate, or put up posters and hand out leaflets. They are allowed to wear a rosette or a badge, purely to show they are party activists and not election officials. There should only be one for each candidate, and it has been known for other parties to inspect polling stations to make sure none of these rules are being broken.

There’s an interesting side-effect to all of these rules, in that it’s often quite a fun job. People who have been campaigning furiously for weeks are suddenly stationed outside a church hall with their bitter rivals but are legally prohibited from campaigning. A bit like the Christmas truce in the trenches, sweets are sometimes exchanged, and some quite entertaining chats happen during slow periods. It’s at these moments that you realise the sort of people who would willingly do this type of thing often have more in common with each other than they would like to admit. In most cases, tellers will share the numbers between them, especially if it is busy. They can’t ask which party a voter will support, so sharing the numbers helps you all gather data and speed the process along, as well as gaining a bit of an idea of turnout.

You don’t have to tell them anything, and they can’t do anything other than ask for your number and remind you that you’ll need a photo ID, but they really are harmless and a minor but vital cog in our system. Some of them may have a very long night ahead of them…

The Count

For the select few, once polls are closed, a larger public building awaits and they become counting agents. The candidate’s agent will issue them with a clipboard and a pencil, stationing them next to one of the tables, and tells them to count as many votes as they can see.??

The count starts with the verification of ballots, where counting assistants (the people who sit behind the tables and actually count the votes) simply count the numbers in each box to make sure it matches with the tally from the polling station. It is done with the papers face up, so eagle-eyed party activists, using the five-bar gate system, can do a quick unofficial count.

During this process counting agents can see a sample of votes cast in each polling area, getting an idea of their performance at a really local level. It’s not an exact science, but most parties use this information to target areas in future elections.

Once this is completed all votes are mixed together, and counted, so the really impatient people can get a feel of how the result is likely to go. There is an important element to all this, as counting agents often spot if a ballot falls on the floor or if perhaps two are counted together. They are permitted to politely point this out.

Finally, anywhere between 2 am and 6 am, the returning officer gathers candidates and agents to give the provisional result. At this point any of them can request a recount, the returning officer does not have to grant the request, but only if they consider it unreasonable.?

If, after recounts, the votes are tied (an equality of votes), the returning officer can decide to draw lots, the method is largely up to them but can be sealed envelopes, names in a box, or at the local level, a coin toss. It happens more often than you would think.?

Eventually, the returning officer will announce the official result, usually surrounded by very tired candidates, and a few joke representatives of pretend parties like the Monster Raving Loonies or Reform.?

Spare a thought for tellers, door knockers, drivers, counting agents, counting assistants, returning officers, agents and of course candidates this Thursday. Our weird system wouldn’t work without them.