Everything You Didn’t See

I’ve been trying to write this for a while, so I wrote a version, hated it, deleted it, rewrote it 14 more times, hated all of them. Did a cold corporate version, hate those…deleted it. Then I wrote my honest raw thoughts, but felt as if they’re too real for LinkedIn. Asked ChatGPT to make it more LinkedIn’y and didn’t like the edits.

So here is something in the middle, this is what you didn’t see and what happened behind the scenes at the conference.

Wednesday:

Worked in the morning on last minute things and we moved all of our conference materials to the hotel. I went to quickly dropped off my dog at my mother’s and then pack my bags at my place. Meanwhile the UT ENT club and USF Club packed the welcome bags. It took me longer than I expected as I hoped to be there but it went smoothly.

Went for a walk and still didn’t eat yet happened to run into my friends at Slyngshot and had dinner at the hotel. I went back to my room, noticed I forgot something at the office and walked about half a mile from the hotel to our office picked it up then walked back to the room and got ready for Thursday.

Thursday:

Event Team and CEO staff are all ready, we were missing a decent amount of badges and so the majority we had to print. That was stressful as I know we had the names of people, but whatever can’t fix it now. We would get waves of people for check in then calmness.

I met with Chapter Development panels about an hour before we started, as we had to figure out logistics but we got them going. I then noticed the signs had the wrong session names list…..well at least the app was updated.

While that was finally going on, I had to work on the Venture Expo/Wildcard. Saw most people didn’t fill out the form to participate and to be judged. So, I went ahead and tried to add everyone best I could. Changed into my costume and then went down to the expo.

It was over crowded, “this is good….big turnout” I thought. Then people mentioned how their business names weren’t on the voting list. I scrambled to fix that as quickly as possible.

I got the results and around 7 I contacted those that advanced, then my computer died. Made an appearance at the Halloween Reception, saw a kid breakdancing and did some photos.

After the reception I quickly changed and got ready for dinner with Chirag, a good friend and the Keynote for Friday. Dinner was good, always good to catch up and I desperately needed the food.

Walked back to the hotel and when I went to my room it just hit me like it always does. I was surrounded by people all day and now I feeling completely alone. In my room I started to have a breakdown. It wasn’t from the conference or the weight of it, but rather the weight of everything.

My friend thankfully called and encouraged me to go for a walk, so I tried to slip out of the hotel unnoticed, walking over to the university and sitting by the water. But it didn’t help. I broke down further and finally admitted to her what was truly on my mind. Pulled myself together walked back to the hotel showered and got ready for the next day.

Friday:

Friday got up around 8:30 ready for the day, people were still checking in. Keynotes and sessions were running smoothly. Had to meet with our Top 24 and judges but some didn’t show….great. Did a walk through with our top 24. Issues with some of the computer, in years past it was just a link so very easy. This year we allowed people to do their own pitch deck. This caused a lot of issues, AV said “hey we can get them just put it on a thumb drive and we can preload it….get it to us by 2 though.”

I relay that to our Top 24 and yep 2:05 I finally have everyone’s pitch deck.

3:00 okay time for our pitch competition, we are on a tight schedule, walk in the room….no tables. I’m getting texts from the other rooms but eventually everything is going fine, outside of a few tech issues we start a few minutes late.

Get a text saying Room A is done. My room just finished up a little afterwords. I get with my judges and get the two from my room.

Technotonin Industries

EcoPlant

it’s now past 4 and Chirag should already have started. We ask him can you make it a tight 40? As we are going to go over he says “yeah no problem” and we usher people in the room. I head to Room A, to get their names as they are still deliberating. I then finally get the two.

Perfect Plantista

Mathex

I then run to Room B they are still deliberating as well, until finally they give me the names

Fendersafe

Balcacers Bouquets

I text the names to the Event Team then walk in the main ball room. Chirag is still speaking and then we go over the awards last minute and talk about how we are naming the Faculty Advisor award the Jim Hunter Faculty Advisor of the Year Award.

Then during Chirag speech he starts mentioning Jim Hunter…..”No Chirag…..Don’t spoil the surprise…….I don’t even remember telling you.” Turns out I didn’t and it was just a happy coincidence.

Now it’s the awards no real script so I wing it. Award then photo, award then photo, “Smile Dean” award then photo, Top 6 are Announced and done.

My friend stops by, turns out they were in the front row and I didn’t even see them. I’m then mingling with people see a beautiful dog named Hazel took some more photos, eventually got away to shower and change them get ready for dinner. Went to a Thai place and eventually got kicked out because they’re closing….who closes at 9 on a Friday??

Go back to the hotel and then it started to hit me again and my friend said to me, ‘It’s strange to see you like this. In this environment, around everyone, you’re happy, joking, positive. But as soon as they’re gone, so is your happiness. I just don’t know which version is you.’

Honestly I don’t know which version is the true me, probably like most things it’s a mix of both. Just like everyone else, I want the version people see in public to be the real me. But that’s not how I feel most of the time. I wish I could bottle the sense of love and support I get from everyone at the conference, to carry it with me when things get tough.

Get a text to go dancing that night I’m not a dancer….go dancing until 1:45 then back to the hotel fall asleep at 3:00 wake up at 8:30.

Saturday:

Woke up with a sore throat and not feeling great but in the home stretch. I get the final presentations for the top 6, talk to some people trying to get everything in order. Top 6 are pitching they wrap up and I go with the judges to a room to deliberate. I get the winners and text it to our AV.

While our keynote is presenting they’re making the slide and our team is writing out the winners on the fake checks.

We go into the ballroom I’m trying to not spoil the winners while holding the checks. We announce the winners photos, meet people say goodbye and then start to pack up.

We load everything up and put it back in our office and by 5pm everything is done. Drive home and my mother already has my dog dropped off waiting for me.

And that’s everything that happened at CEO’s global conference.

There is so much that people don’t see, both logistically and personally. This was my fourth CEO Conference, what I consider a full cycle of students coming through. As I scroll through Linkedin, I’m reminded of two things 1. I need to get out photos organized and posted and 2. The whirlwind these past few days—and honestly, these past few months—have been. Each conference is unique, and each one takes a lot from everyone involved.

After four years, you’d think I’d find a rhythm, but every year I still find myself repeating conversations because I can’t remember who I’ve spoken to or wondering if I connected with everyone I wanted to. Three days is somehow both incredibly short and endlessly long.

On a personal level, this year has been one of the hardest. Late nights in the hospital, not knowing if my mother would make it, and my own health struggles, physically and mentally, have made most days hard to get through. I think I do well at separating work from personal but had a hard time this year.

Again I don’t know the future, I only work there. What I do know is that people care deeply about this organization. I just wish that care could feel as constant as the love I see during these few days.