EVERYTHING I’VE EVER LOST NOW HAS BEEN RETURNED

Bono’s words from U2’s hit “The Miracle” was ringing in my ears this morning as I was swimming in the pool.

I could feel this sensation to go start writing……

So here I am writing from Nusa Dua, looking out at this spectacular view.

(Hopefully the photos I’ve taken after does these scenes justice lol...I'm no photographer)

Anyways!!

This morning I reconnected with a memory.

A memory of standing out my old balcony staring out into Port Phillip bay back into 2018.

I was dreaming of getting out of the grind of my then lifestyle.

The beaches, the ocean front casa, the beautiful girlfriend & the creative projects filled my mind...

“JORDAN….not now please! it’s time to lock into reality!!!” as I shook off the images.

I’d interrupt myself like this daily.

After all I had deals to close & money at stake.

And these feelings and visions of what I truly wanted….hurt...

It hurt like a bitch.

But most disturbingly I knew that I could have those things soon…real soon.

HOWEVER.....I had to follow the timeline.

On when I would allow myself to finally.....have it.

“Patience Jordan.....it'll come... but first we need to (INSERT GOAL)”

So….that’s what I did

I pushed & strived……

Resenting the constant fixing and improving to make more cash and have more time on my hands.

The endless books, coaches, seminars, strategies.

YUUCCK!!

It was gross...like sickening…..how much desperation surrounded it.

Achievement was all that mattered.

Not because I cared about the ACTUALLY result.

no….lol

Because finally, when I succeeded

I'd remind myself of what I wanted....

"ONE STEP CLOSER TO THE BEACHES JD!!! KEEP GOING!"

Until I heard it.

Yep I got that little fucker out alright.

I heard that sneaky...persuasive sales script playing out in my head…..

And not the one that I used to close deals.

It was one I subconsciously used for protection.

“Keep achieving and reaching higher….because I am scared”.

“Of not getting to struggle anymore!”.

“Of not having to prove anything!"

“Of not being able to justify why…..I could have everything I've ever dreamed of”

“For having what I want without struggle….is destruction”.

January 25th 2020, is when I heard this script for the first time.

And I could see the green shiny Kryptonite it had persuaded me to wear for years.

The green rocks around my neck had become my badge of honour.

The badge of honour that kept me in the hustle.

“Look at me, I’m striving to get what I want…..a responsible, successful man I am".

My life up until this point, had become one big IMPROVEMENT project.

And I was tired of it.

I was making myself sick

Trying to be enough....for my true desires.

I clutched the Kryptonite and ripped it off my neck.

I threw the rocks as far as I could….

And I didn't stop there.

Without a logical reason to do so.

I closed my sales agency to put all my time into music.

I sold & threw everything I owned out...to move to Byron Bay late last year.

I applied 4 times to leave Australia and finally got over here to Bali.

And most recently got into network marketing

....(we can talk about that another time)

Shifting this much during a pandemic doesn't make sense does it??

Definitely not...

And to be very honest not all of these moves went my way....

There has been major loss following this path.

But there's a difference...

A HUGE DIFFERENCE

I consistently end up.

Getting exactly what my heart wants....

But not always in the way I expected it.

When I shut down my agency I was heading into a cold, miserable lockdown in Melbourne.

No inspiration and no clear path forward.

As I write this post, I am heading into a warm, inspirational lockdown in Nusa Dua.

Full of creativity & passion by the ocean.

In the space of 17 months everything I thought I had to earn,

Now has been returned….

And it is the most beautiful sound.

I've ever heard.