Everything I Don't Know about Negotiations, and Some Things I Do

A few months ago, I got an email from the Head of HR with our Chief Commercial Officer in CC. We had just gone through a massive restructuring and before even seeing the subject line, I was a bit scared. Turns out, I had nothing to worry about and had been recognized as one of the top negotiators in our organization. I was asked to share some tips and tricks to help other teams with their negotiations.

Of course, I was honored, and because I was scared to say no to the CCO, I said yes. The truth is, though, I'm barely out of university with little to no professional experience under my belt. I had been at the company for just a couple of months and didn't feel like I had done anything all that great. Yet, I had just become a lawyer, spent the past eight years learning and teaching Model United Nations, been part of academic debates both formally and informally, spent a year negotiating completely different types of contracts, read "Never Split the Difference" by Chris Voss, and was closing deals within just a few weeks of the job.

And that's how I began all of three negotiation workshops I hosted for anyone who wanted to join: I am severely underqualified to teach this, but this is what I do know.

• I know how to ask open-ended questions to see what's most important to the other party and make them solve my problems for me.
• I know how to mirror, (even if I struggle with the silence part at the end) to get someone to rethink their position.
• I understand the importance of labeling emotions and giving them space to breathe within a conversation.
• I'm not afraid of someone telling me no, I look for it.

I'm never going to know everything there is to know about a topic, even if I were to devote my life to it (which, let's be honest, I'm not doing right now) but what I do know is that I can pick a trick or two and practice them over and over again. Be it in a hostage situation, a negotiation with Taylor Swift's management, or the more current examples of influencers and their agents, my siblings, my friends, or those informal academic debates that always spark over beers.

These workshops were just as much about me learning from my coworkers as it was about them learning from me. We got to bounce ideas, talk about different situations, and learn different ways to approach complex issues, among so many other things. I shared stories of hard negotiations and how I approached them, heard their problems and we brainstormed ways we could level up our negotiations.

I think one of my biggest learnings was that at the end of the day, I know more than I think. Everything I've done over the years has helped build a unique perspective that brings new and different skills to the table. Debate, be it formal or informal has made it so that I am confident in speaking on a wide variety of topics, both publicly and privately. Negotiations with clients, be it laboratories or influencer agents, have built skills that I didn't even realize were being built. Through this experience I've been able to look back, acknowledge my limitations and embrace the journey I've been on to push forward into all kinds of new arenas.

I may have finished university and begun a successful career in business, but it is clear that I will be constantly leaning, one tip or trick at a time.