Everything has a cost!

Everything has a cost!

What you want is, to be aware of what it is costing you in a long run.

For example

1. What is it costing you to stay in toxic, abusive, unhappy relationship in a long run? and you need to go far like 20 years ahead of you.That was the question I have asked myself when I was going through divorce couple of years ago.

2. What is it costing you to stay in toxic job, or job that you don’t like doing? and you are doing it just to be able to pay your bills, what is it costing you in a long run? Again, go far and look 20 years ahead of you, this is what I did when I made decision to start my business.

3. What it will cost you to withdrawal and shut down?

4. What is it costing you to let your fears to have you? again go 20 years ahead of you

-?????????Fear of rejection of not feeling enough.

-?????????Fear of being in committed relationship.

-?????????Fear of leaving relationship because you don’t think you deserve better.

-?????????Fear of losing money.

-?????????Fear of success.

-?????????Fear of failure.

-?????????Fear of having open vulnerable conversations.

This are the main fears people usually have.

When and where you are avoiding seeing the truth about situation because it is too hard to face?

So, you really want to get clear on what it will cost you in a long run like 20-30 years ahead of you, ?if you are not going to take responsibility for your part, and take your power back.

Once you have clarity on the above then you can ask yourself what it will cost you if:

-?????????You leave your toxic relationship.

-?????????You leave your toxic job that you don’t even like doing.

-?????????You start your business, maybe something that you always wanted to do.

-?????????You commit to be in a long-term relationship.

-?????????You open yourself to life again.

See everything has two sides there is no right or wrong action, decision, commitments either it works, or it is faulty. And when it is faulty only you can change it, no one else will do it for you.

For example, when you start your business, it will cost you at the beginning because you will be walking in unknown like a baby falling, having bruises, bleeding, learning, gaining wisdom and walking again towards your vison.

Something I want to mention, and this is from my personal experience, because a lot of people are afraid of losing money and that’s just freeze them from taking risk. One thing that is absolutely true we all have financial thermostat and from my personal experience even if you lose money, you will never go beyond your financial thermostat.

The good thing that you can set your thermostat higher so even if you lose everything this can reassure you, that you can create more, always if you polish your ways of being in the world, that’s important to know.

So, in a sense fear of losing money is illusion, not congruent with reality because you can recreate everything you want again. Money is made up! ?I think every successful person will tell you that. It is like thinking that 9-5 job is security in reality it is not because you can be laid off anytime ??

So, then you want to look what it will cost you more: taking risk and going into unknown or staying in comfortable, known, unfulfilling, toxic environment.

I can tell you from my personal experience that it will cost you more to stay in comfortable, unhappy, known, toxic, unfulfilling environment. It will cost you your health!! And myself I learned one big lesson if we don’t have health, we have nothing.

You will never be able for example manage your money if you have emotional imbalances and you are not feeling good enough, smart enough, worthy or you have physical condition caused by too much cortisol in your body.

Because all those emotional baggage’s of fear, shame, anger, resentment, guilt is going to control how you will earn and spend your money.

So, see I think not taking responsibility for you own part, not taking risk you are actually losing a lot it will cost you in a long run much more then taking risk and moving into unknown!!

So, when I was making decision, I was looking at the cost of 20 years ahead of me. And for me it was clear that I would rather pay the cost of going into unknow, falling, learning, gaining wisdom for 3-5 years, rather than staying in known unfulfilling, toxic environment and paying the cost for the next 50 years!! That was very clear to me.

So, you really want to get clear on what it is costing you not taking responsibility for your own part.

If you are in leadership role you want to ask yourself what it will cost you if you are not going to take responsibility for the parts you own in a long run, and what it will cost your team, your organization?

We create everything and you probably can agree with me that it starts with thought.

Now you want to be aware that thought follows perceptions and perceptions that’s our beliefs about ourselves (our inner dialog) believes about reality, and then it follows perspective.

Now if your perceptions which are your beliefs are not congruent with reality you are going to have limited perspective, you simply not going to have circuitry in your brain to perceive things differently then they are.

So, what is the cost of this?

You are not going to be authentic, when you miss authenticity, you are not integrous, so you are missing integrity (doesn’t matter what you tell yourself the reality you are missing it), you will lack vulnerability.

If you are lacking vulnerability, you are not authentic, you are not integrous you will not be effective in your life, you will never express yourself fully (self-expression)

If you are lacking vulnerability, you will not be courageous enough to take risk and you will let your fears and insecurities to have you. You will miss on opportunities in life.

You will not be able to build trusting relationships either in business or personal life because it is hard to trust someone who is lacking vulnerability and authenticity. You will also not trust yourself, and if you don’t trust yourself why do you think others will.

So, see everything goes back to relationship you have with yourself. If you don’t understand yourself and why you react you will never understand others.?And that will affect your level of effectiveness in every arrear of your life.

If you let your fears, have you, you will be either submissive you will minimize yourself, you will be often infatuated not seeing the downsides.

Or you will be aggressive, defensive, arrogant because you will fear that others are better, and they can gain.

So, see how much it will cost you if you don’t know who you are.

It will cost you a lot if you don’t know for example how to stay assertive means you stand for your point of view firmly but simultaneously you respect others and you don’t want them to live in your values, your beliefs.

Because when you try to manipulate someone with your point of view, to make them live in your values you will be defensive, aggressive, arrogant and you will manipulate to get what you want. This is unbalanced perception of reality, and it will cost you a lot in a long run.

Everyone likes to be appreciated for who they are and not what you want them to be.

Good thing to remember that everyone will see you through their own lenses so there is no point to try hard to please them. So be you, real you and own it powerfully in every situation.

Remember everything you do, you do it for yourself. When you do it authentically for yourself you will simultaneously do it for others.

To wrap it up

If you want to have fulfilling and happy life on personal level, if you want to have fulfilling career, if you want to be healthy you need to know yourself! Without knowing yourself you will not achieve much. You may achieve some of your goals, but you will never experience truly happy and fulfilling life.

And we have only one life, so why not to learn about who you are so your fears are not having you, but you are having your fears.

You need to bring to your awareness what works and what doesn’t.

You need to be vulnerable enough to look at your shadow sides so you can learn from them and grow from them. This is why vulnerability is a strength and not a weakness.

You need to be authentic in creating opportunities and building relationships either personal or professional.

You need courage to be able to take risk knowing that you are resourceful in every situation.

Book 20 -30 min free call with me, you will become fully aware of parts of your life that are not working, you will have more clarity what you need to change to be able to create what you want.

Awareness stars with asking powerful questions and it is hard to see our own prison.

Remember everything you avoid, dislike in yourself or others will create unbalanced perceptions and will occupy time and space in your mind. This will create stress and anxiety for you leading to low level of effectiveness in your life.