Everything is Hard Before It's Easy
Michael Gervais
Performance Psychologist working with the best in the world ? Host, Finding Mastery Podcast ? Architect, Finding Your Best Mindset Masterclass ? Every day is an opportunity to create a living masterpiece
Change is hard.
The resistance to change is partly a function of the anatomy of the brain. The brain is constantly computing and looking for the most efficient way to consolidate the vast amount of information that pours in, a process coined “heuristics.”
Heuristics are cognitive rules of thumb, hard-wired mental shortcuts we use to make judgments and routine decisions.?Heuristics generate deeply grooved neurological channels that opt for speed and efficiency at the expense of accuracy, the familiar over the unfamiliar.
?When we change the patterns or habits in our lives, we are restructuring and re-coding those neural pathways in our brain.
A recent experience I had with a friend captures the idea.
My friend said, “I have always wanted to play the guitar.”
?
I responded, “Can you see yourself doing it? Where are you excited to see yourself playing the guitar?”
?
“Well, we go to campfires twice a year. I’d love to pull out the guitar and sing. There’s another dad who plays. I’d love to join him.”
?
“Oh, okay. I get that vision. What’s the way to get better at it? You need buy a guitar, learn the basic chords, hire a teacher and take lessons a couple times a week for 45 minutes and practice in between. You’ll be on your way in six months.”
?
Simple, right?
He goes out and buys a guitar and enrolls in an online course. By the end of week two, he’s practicing the guitar chords to the Beatles’ Get Back. Week 3 rolls around and he never picks up the guitar again.
?
So, what happened?
Initially, he got a charge because human beings crave change and get a neurochemical hit of dopamine when we go down a new path. Once that newness passed, he was left to do the hard work to change.
?
First, his brain needed to tell his fingers to move differently in awkward ways. That required deep focus and rewiring of neurological patterns to create a fluid and seamless behavior.?
?
领英推荐
Then there’s a story about busyness that got in the way of change. “I have so many things I need to deal with that I don’t have time for the guitar.”?
?
Third, the reward seemed far away, particularly when the journey was no longer fueled by dopamine. It’s easy to slip into, “This isn’t as fun as I thought. This is going to take too long to get good. Who am I kidding?”
?
Fourth, negative self-talk kicked in, that little voice of doubt and self-critique. “I’m no good at this.” “I’m not cut out to play the guitar. I’m too old and have too many responsibilities.” “My seventh-grade teacher was right. Music is not my thing.”
?
Finally, the modern world seduced his attention with alternative activities that offered immediate gratification, providing a new dopamine hit.
?
My friend’s mind capitulated and his learning process ground to a halt.
?
When this happens to you when training your mind, recognize that negative self-talk will not get you closer to the vision.?Know that failure and doubt are stepping stones on the path of high-performance, healthy signs that you are reaching the edge of your capacity.
Stay in it. Focus on the process of coming back to the present moment, even when that moment is hard.
Before you notice it, you’ll get that much closer to your milestone goals.
With fire,
MG
[ This is a snippet from the Audible Original, "Compete to Create", written by Dr. Michael Gervais and Pete Carroll - https://www.amazon.com/Compete-Create-Approach-Leading-Authentically/dp/B08911JMJX ]
pursuing excellence mindfully
2 年great explanation for mindfulness and intentional work which leads to long-lasting progress
Coordination Director
2 年Very insightful - putting Compete to Create on my book list :)
Career Coach | Professionals in the Netherlands come to me to get unstuck in their careers and land high paying fulfilling jobs | DM me and book your Free Career Strategy Consultation
2 年Being aware that the initial burst of enthusiasm will wear off is important to know. Because a lot of people will assume that that means they chose the 'wrong' hobby. That maybe they're not as interested in it as they thought. But as you point out in this article, this is a natural part of change and something to push through.
Top Voice in AI | CIO at TetraNoodle | Proven & Personalized Business Growth With AI | AI keynote speaker | 4x patents in AI/ML | 2x author | Travel lover ??
2 年Great post! If you want to become an expert at anything, keep practicing until it feels easy. If you persist, you will be successful. Thank you so much for sharing.
Anchoring Leaders in Deep Purpose | Coach | Educator | Mentor
2 年Great post. Thank you Michael. I work in L&D and find that most practitioners in the space apply pedagogical strategies meant for knowledge building in young people to advance skills, performance, and behavioural change in adults. It simply doesn't work. I've appreciated your work on strategies to overcome resistance to behavioural change. It's cracked open my own toolkit and helped me look outside my field for transformational practices.